I never had any experience in dating (NBSB). And NEVER had a first kiss
I am 27F and met this guy 35M online and been chatting with each other for two months now.
We went on our first date. He is so kind, funny and romantic. He asked if me if I can be his girlfriend. He ask for permission if he could kiss me and I agree cause I like him. And we kissed several times after that. I feel so comfortable with him.
So I told the story with my girl bestfriend and she told me that its a wrong move because the guy will think that im easy to get/h*e and will not respect me in the future đ
I dont want that to happen. Now I feel terrible.
Comments
Itâs all in the kiss. If they are not good at kissing they may not be good at much else.
Your best friend is wrong. You set the pace. You set the boundaries.
I like to do more than kiss on the first date. I find this to be best for me, you do what you feel comfortable with. Kissing on a first date is fine if you feel some chemistry or had a good date. Its fine even if you just want to feel something physical and maybe dont feel a lot of chemistry. Live YOUR life.
It definitely ok to kiss on a first date. You were talking for months. I canât understand your friends reaction, sounds a bit jealous.
Itâs up to you. As long as itâs consensual on both sides, I say itâs fine. Personally, I like building things up gradually and taking the time in relationships so I kinda see your friendâs perspective. But you do you.
Yes itâs fine. Do what you feel comfortable with.
The short answer is that you do whatever you feel comfortable with, and not a moment before.
And you have no reason to feel “terrible” because you do not owe anything to some guy who you do not know.
I recently wrote a lengthy post about the issue that you raise… it’s not only about kissing on a first date, but about other things to watch out for to protect yourself.
The link is below.
I hope you find it illuminating and helpful. Thank you.
https://www.reddit.com/r/analyzeme/comments/1m3sqgc/red_flags_to_watch_out_for_when_dating/
Iâd hope so. Iâve certainly done more than just kiss on a first date.
Helps to confirm youâre compatible
Yes, of course it’s fine – I’m more wondering that he asked you to be his girlfriend on the first date (and having only kissed a couple of times)? That’s a red flag to me.
You should research the sexual partner rate to divorce rate. A virgins chances of divorce increases by 50% after their first sexual partner and from then on around about 10% for every sexual partner that follows stabilizing at 5-13 somewhat from a graph i saw. Also from what I’ve learned from women, what also happens is the more sexual partners the more dissatisfied women become with the majority of men, so more likely to end up alone.
Every relationship is different. People move at different paces, people want different things, people expect different things.Â
One of the best things about a new relationship is discovering how you fit together. Your journey of mutual discovery is important, and if he’s already being polite I don’t see a problem with how it went for you. Especially if you are comfortable with it.Â
Have fun and discover yourself. Set the boundaries you discover and make sure he abides. Communication is the most important part of this.
I don’t see anything wrong with it. know I’ve heard of people sleeping together in the first date and that seems red flag but not kissing
Um. I’ve had sex on the first date.
A kiss used to be expected. A 3 day rule on sex (Starting Freshman year in college, etc ).
It’s kind of weird from a Genxer what’s been going on with dating now.
Just donât have sex with him for awhile and if he responds respectfully then he is truly a nice guy. Please take it slow, most men in their thirties have nothing in common with 20-something women. Â Other than that kissing is fine. Â Please take it slow and donât let your emotions and feelings carry you away
Do what feels comfortable. He asked if he could kiss you which shows he respects boundaries. There is no set rule. Your friend seems to be playing the game of No kiss until the second date and âdancinâ in the sheetsâ on the 3rd date. You and your boyfriend set the pace for your relationship
If she told you that it doesnât sound like sheâs actually your girl best friend.
As others have already said, you set the pace. If youâre both comfortable with each other to kiss then let it roll!
Your friend is jealous of you
Youâre friend is wrong. Itâs totally up to you. Youâve been communicating with him for 2 months and feel comfortable. It felt natural for you. If youâre happy with how things are going then itâs fine.
Sure if the vibe is right. Sounds it was a very nice kiss đ or two or three
You can do whatever you want to on a date, as long as you WANT to and are not feeling coerced. If youâre enjoying it, enjoy it.
two months of texting and convo counts as “pre-dating” which greatly changes the actual status of the “first real date”. You shoudl be fine.
You communicated with this guy for months, having a kiss on the first date will not cause him to lose respect for you.
Its 2025 and you âshouldâ be able to sleep with him on the first date if you wanted to without fear of judgement or repercussion.
Your friend is too judgemental.
Playing games will make him think you’re not genuine.
He asked, and you answered. Two consenting adults kissing.
Sounds great!
oh, what a lovely a story for a change. I’m happy for you u/pinkbunnybarbie. how you feel is in front & center. period. focus on cultivating your newfound relationship and ignore everything else â€ïž
You should do whatever feels comfortable. Never feel pressured to have any type of intimacy in the first day, and if you donât feel like it you could just walk away at any minute. If the guy makes you feel bad, thatâs his problem. And if you feel like kissing, go ahead also and have fun!
It totally depends on your culture. In some circles, it’s completely fine. In others, it might cause the issues your friend describes.
You can’t make 100% sure everything goes right the first time you try dating. You have to take it easy, go forward intuitively and learn from what happens.
Itâs 100% fine as long as you were comfortable with it and your date was very respectful because he asked permission. Donât let your friend make you feel bad about what sounded like an amazing first date!
Donât feel bad OP, you both consented to kissing. Cute that he asked if he could kiss you though.
Your friend on the other hand is an idiot, please donât go to her for relationship advice lol
I dont think any more or less of a woman relationship wise who goes as far as having sex with me on the first date
By any chance, is your girl bestfriend single? Lol. You set the pace, a kiss on a first date is fine.
Almost always when people make the sort of statement your friend made they are talking about more than kissing & even then it’s not necessarily true.
You’ve been talking to this guy for months, you’re fine.
Tbf, if this guy is the kind to think that way then better to know now anyway, but if you’ve genuinely connected with this guy like you think you have, then he won’t be thinking like that at all, he’ll just be as excited as you are.
If the vibes are right kissing on the first date is quite normal. Asking you to be his girlfriend however, a bit weird.
You’ve gotten to know each other for 2 months through chat. You were vibing with each other on the daye. Then, like a gentleman, he asked your permission to kiss? There are no problems here at all, in my opinion.
Kissing on a first date is not too fast. I mean, it’s all up to your comfort level but your friend is an ass.
You and you alone get to decide what is right for you. It sounds ike you and the man discussed physical contact before he initiated and you thought about what was right for you. That’s good. You still get to decide what is right for you with this man. You still have the absolute authority to say no, or yes. Don’t let your friend’s prejudices spoil your happiness! You have demonstrated that you deserve and have his respect (by the fact he asked) and your exercise of authority over yourself will ensure you continue to retain this respect.
I had sex on the first date, she is now my wife and we have 3 kids. Your friend has no idea.
Best relationships I ever had were sex on the first date.
Just throwing it out there, I went to third base with my most recent ex gf of 3 years on the first date because she wanted to. Wished it worked out better but do things that are most comfortable to you.
You wanna be his girlfriend? Go for it, I only suggest taking things slow. Iâm happy for you internet stranger.
You had your first kiss and this “friend” isn’t excited for you and supporting you. This isn’t a friend. Don’t let her interfere with your happiness and success!!
CONGRATS ON YOUR FIRST KISS!!
Friend sounds jealous or just ignorant..do your thing. If she’s right don’t let her validate but he sounds like a nice guy if he asked permission. That’s a good sign he won’t be pushing before you’re ready
If there is a mutual feeling then sure why not. Kissing is a big part of dating in my opinion.
But mutual is the key word.
Your best friend is either jealous or gives awful advice
donât listen to her, to me she sounds bitter. you set the boundaries, do what you feel to do. also, just saying, when i was 16 i had my first date with my boyfriend and we kissed, and guess what? iâm 19 now and weâre still together. do what makes you comfortable and happy
You know who to cut ties
What you did was perfectly fine. Him asking, perhaps knowing you had never really dated before, also seems like he is both interested and wants to be respectful.
If it feels right to you, consider sharing something with him like âhey, I really enjoyed our first date. I liked that you asked me if you could kiss me first, and I really liked the kissing, too. Iâm new at this and still figuring it out, but your approach helps me know what feels good to me at a pace that makes me feel comfortable and close to you.â
Want to lean a little more forward, and introduce some simmering sexual tension?
Add: âItâs quite possible Iâm going to want to do some things we havenât yet. Iâll be sure to ask when the time comes.â
Again, the most important thing: DO AS MUCH OR AS LITTLE FEELS GOOD TO YOU
If she donât fuck on the first date she boring
It’s ok to, it’s ok not to.
There’s no rules, and you shouldn’t believe anyone telling you otherwise.
Each first date runs its own course, just go with it and see what the vibe is like.
Depends if you both give consent if one gives consent and the other doesnât then you should wait until you are both readyÂ
no
Is your friend in middle school? We arenât even talking about sex on the first date
i guess do what you want on your first date and go at your own pace, please don’t care what your friend says. For me i feel like it would take like 20 dates for me to even hug a person let alone kiss, and I believe thats fine too
Women can give the worst advice to women. This guy did all the right things to make you comfortable and looks like you handled yourself well. The kiss will probably give him the confidence to move forward but you still the boundaries and have to let him know where you stand immediately whether being more passionate or slowing down.
if itâs someone i want to just hook up with i smash on the first date if not first then second havenât really wanted a partner so canât say
Do you respect yourself? It’s actually a simple question. Do you know what you want? Do you know what you are willing to do? If so, then you understand your boundaries that you have set and you and you alone are allowed to determine how those boundaries are enforced.
Yes, you can absolutely kiss someone on a first date if you want to. You can also absolutely not kiss someone on a first date if you don’t want to. You don’t even need a good reason. Your personal desire is all that matters in this situation. Your friend’s opinion on how someone else might feel about you is not relevant.
Now, to belabor your friend’s point of view on the subject…. Yes, if you kiss someone, that is typically a major event in a physical relationship. You can hold hands or poke around and tickle and hug and all that but until you both initiate and share a drawn-out, passionate kiss, that’s always a bit of a roadblock that prevents moving forward. Now that you’ve done that, kissing is clearly on the table for now on, and he can feel free to ..ahem… “continue the journey toward home base”. Of course, there’s no reason you can’t keep the relationship at the kissing stage for as long as you feel comfortable.
You’re an adult. You’re 27. You’re not getting groomed, or abused, or manipulated. You know what you want and only have to answer to yourself. Enjoy the relationship.
Seems absolutely normal to me tbh.
Your âfriendâ is a prick.
I know a fair amount of people who have had sex with their partner on the 1st date and gone on to have long relationships and get married, just do what feels right for the both of you.
I never thought less of a girl if we kissed, or went further on a first date. Though I have thought maybe they have some restrictive out of date values if it went the other way, so it really depends
Your girl best friend would only be correct if she was born before WWII. Anybody who loses respect for you for kissing on a first date probably doesnât respect women anyway. Have fun.
Trust me he will not loose respect for you. Your best friend is so deeply in the wrong for having this mindset. Also a kiss on the first date is not nearly as bad as some other things that could have happened, and he still wouldnât have lost respect if it was consensual and right in the moment.
I had my first kiss when I was 29. I had a lot of built up anxieties about it too. Once youâve had more experience it will get easier for YOU to be the judge of what feels right and what feels wrong. In the future you might find that you donât like kissing until later. You might find that you are fine with more. What you are doing now is a little bit of experimentation and thatâs totally fine. Thatâs how you learn yourself.
Donât listen to your friends, itâs up to you, not them.
There is some truth to what your friend is saying, but it depends upon the two of you.
As a man I have had women be eager to get physical quickly and it can be off putting. A good man doesnât want to date a promiscuous woman.
But that doesnât sound like your situation. You guys have been chatting and you only kissed. That sounds perfectly natural to me.
If you like the guy, think heâs cute, and felt comfortable, why not?
Girl don’t listen to advice about men from women. You guys are wrong most of the time. A kiss shows that you’re actually interested in him. If you did absolutely nothing for like 4 dates, he would think you are using him for a meal ticket.
I asked a girl for a kiss on our first date and she said no and gave me a hug. 5 years later, sheâs my fiancĂ©e now. So itâs up to you, and if you can set the pace and set it up well, and also be ready for rejection and not make it weird.
Seriously!?
Your best friend has no idea what sheâs talking about. Youâre an adult, you like someone and kissed them haha
Your friend sounds insane if she wasnât joking
Dude my gf and I made out in a genghis grill parking lot after our first date. We are still together years later. Didnât affect how I view her. Youâre all good. As long as it doesnât cross boundaries of you or your date, thatâs all that matters. What others think is irrelevant. Congrats on a good first date!
He sounds like a gentleman and you sound happy. He will NOT lose respect for you. Nothing to stress about. Have fun!!!!
Yes, it’s perfectly fine to both kiss and have sex on the first date.
However, it’s completely upto you, as it’s your body, your rules.
If others don’t like it, that’s 100% not your problem.
Your friend kinda sucks ngl.
The only acceptable reason is the std reason. Sometimes that can not show symptoms in some people and even the person with it might not know. Or itâs minor stuff like a little cold sore for them but could show up horribly in u.
Personally unless a potential partner shows the full round of std test they ainât going anything further then hand holding and cuddling đ±
It’s okay if you feel it’s okay. I’ve had sex on the first date and thought no less of the person. Hell my wife and I had sex on the first date and we’ve been together 5 years now.
Are u 30, 29, or 27? Didnt u breakup with a person because he said u looked unhygenic? How is this ur first dating experience? Too inconsistent
There are no rules – my woman barely made it halfway through our first face to face without removing my pants.. all is well years later.
Typically the woman sets the pace of intimacy. I’ve slept with a woman on the first date and she asked me if I thought less of her for doing so afterwards. I said no, I felt very fortunate that she was comfortable around me to be intimate. Didn’t make me think any less of her.
Iâve been on like 6 first dates in my entire life and all of them lead to a kiss at the end đ€·ââïž
Youâre not having sex with them on the first date so who cares. Your friend is wrong here
Go for it, most people nowadays eat ass on the first date
FYI donât tell your best friend everything you do. Trust me, it will always be some undercover envy, jealousy, and some even judge you for making your own decisions,
Just do what makes you happy and take things slow, get to know the person, their character, their personality, and also how they behave with others
If ur both are into each other so yeah but u still didn’t get to know each other well just a kiss on the cheek will warm her heart up to youđđ
Sounds like your best friend is jealous. Very archaic way to look at things. The fact that he asked permission instead of just grabbing you and sticking his tounge down your throat is a good sign.
My wife and I had sex on our first date, that was almost 30 years ago. Do what feels comfortable to you. You set the boundaries you want, not your friend.
Yeah, girl. Itâs totally okay and that first kiss can be electrifying. I especially appreciate that he asked permission first and respected your boundaries. Sounds like you got a good one. Hopefully he will continue to let you set the pace.
Oh my gosh, you have the age to kiss whenever you want to. Life is too short to listen your jealous friendsÂ
When to kiss is up to you but asking to be their gf after the first date is a red flag
Whatever feels natural and appropriate. There is no hard rule for anything in life besides death and taxes bro
Your best friend is an idiot. Youâre almost 30. You can do whatever you want with your body and anyone who sees you as less than for doing so isnât worth your time.