I (23 M) was dating a girl for 3 months, she was very much into me, very cute, gave me a nickname. Also, her ex cheated on her and that was traumatic for her. She gave him another chance but he cheated again.I liked her but I thought I wasn’t ready for relationship, we used to go out a lot. But, I went for a trip with my cousins and I told this girl that I won’t do anything with any girl and that was my intention.
But, I got really drunk (no excuse, it was all my fault) and kissed a girl for a few seconds, that’s it. Then, I came back and met her but didn’t tell her immediately because I was scared. I hate cheaters (got a lot of trauma and abuse in my family because of it, my father also did it) and I became scared.
She asked me to come in a relationship, I still wasn’t sure but I told her this first and said I’ll come in a relationship if she’s fine with that. But she immediately left me. I cried and cried for days, wanted to end it, despised myself on every level.
She blocked me from everywhere but came back twice but didn’t work. She did tell me that it’s not my fault and it’s because of her trauma thar she cannot give me a chance. She was also traumatized, so much that she asked her ex to take her back (I’m even worse than his ex I guess)which he said no.
I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to forgive myself for this grave moral error. I’m trying my best, it’s been 3 months since this happened, I still cry a lot. I’ve gone to a lot of dates with many girls but I don’t care anymore. I have a lot of other issues in my life, my mother and brother are financially dependent on me and my family has always been a huge mess, abusive (father). I cannot even stop working, I work night shifts and have insomnia, I have to slept properly in 1.5 years. I’m done, I’m just pushing for my mother and brother.
Will it ever get better? Will I ever forgive myself.
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Been there… hurt like a mf. What i did was disappear of her life . She will always remember that when she sees you. I know , it isn’t easy but is the best thing for both of you. The other thing is take it as a life lesson. Now you know the pain it causes to cheat, don’t ever do that shit to another person again.
You’re young , time heals everything. I recovered from it and so will you.
You will be thinking about her for a long time and you might never get over her. Cry your heart out, explore all your thoughts on what could have been a life with her with the goal of trying to get over her, you cant supress the thoughts just let them out
From your story, you did nothing wrong. From my understanding, you were interested in someone, and lightly dating, but not exclusive. You went on a trip, kissed a random girl and left it at that. You came home, she wanted to be official, you told her you kissed someone a few days before and she ghosted you. Is that a correct understanding? If so, it sucks you can’t have the one you wanted, but it seems like it’s probably for the best. You sound young, there’s plenty of life left to screw up, so don’t beat yourself up too badly about an innocent mistake.