My girlfriend talks about politics every single day, mostly about one particular politician. She brings up what he did, what his supporters are doing, and just rants in general. I get that she’s passionate and wants to stay informed, but honestly, it exhausts me. I hate having to hear about this guy constantly. I see his face and name everywhere already, and having it brought up in my relationship daily makes it feel inescapable.
To me, talking about him all the time gives him more power and attention than he deserves. I’d rather just wait out the term and focus on things I can control.
EDIT: Don’t get me wrong it’s not that I don’t care or that I disagree about how awful the situation is. I do. But hearing about this guy every single day wears me out. I don’t want to feel like he’s being forced into my life all the time. I don’t want to think about him, hear about him, or see his face constantly. I’d rather just wait for his term to end and focus on things that actually bring me peace.
Lately, it feels like my mental health is taking a hit. Hearing about things I have zero control over just makes me feel more powerless and honestly, I already feel that way enough as it is.
Comments
Yes
Totally on your girlfriends side here, waiting on things to go back to normal is how fascists in charge win. As much as it sucks, you gotta talk about it, or one day you could literally not be allowed to talk about it.
This type of stuff interests me. Sounds like you and your girlfriend are on different levels. Maybe you can deflect into a different conversation but if this is important to her it will hurt your relationship.
I’m joining a community protest group but I won’t rant about politics every day to people who already agree with me. It’s a pointless waste of energy.
The battleground is in asking normies simple questions and reminding people what’s happening every day as a public service announcement. That’s something I can do and actively control.
Ranting about the things you can’t control over and over again all day is actively detrimental to your productivity; it’s functionally the same as doing nothing.
Arguments belong out there IRL, not ranting at people who agreed with you 3 hours ago.
OMG it’s exhausting. Screaming one minute, crying the next, looking up visas for Portugal (we do not speak Portuguese). I down with the Two Minutes Hate, but by 10 or so in the morning, I am just wiped out.
And we’re old.
I feel your pain OP. Here’s what I do: gardening. Gardening related shopping trips. Looooooooooong shopping trips and I forgot my phone. See?
Your girlfriend is probably airing concerns that might affect her personally. It could be useful for you to help her find ways to vent that anxiety in more useful ways.
My husband and I went though this a couple months ago and what helped was setting some boundaries around these conversations. Like no talking about politics before bed or in the first hour after work. And then just having a set bit of time and that’s when we have conversations about what’s going on, and then when that times done it gets put aside for the day. There is a lot going on right now and it can feel overwhelming and needing to talk about it is very reasonable, but it’s also something that can be overwhelming if it’s the constant topic of conversation. I think a conversation where you outline how it makes you feel to have every conversation dominated by politics is making you feel and then working out a plan together for how she can still get to talk to you about how everything is making her feel without overwhelming you.
I think it’s reasonable to ask. If she’s passionate or wouldn’t be reasonable to expect to never hear about it though. I’m closer to your side on this. I really don’t need to discuss it every day. Talking about it only hammers home how little talking about it improves the situation. If doing nothing is the least you can do, discussing it is next to the least.
My partner does the same— constant political talking. It doesn’t help they’re from Venezuela. And even though they’re a US citizen, they’re becoming scared that “naturalized” citizens are going to get caught up in all of this. It’s exhausting, but my partner has a very legitimate fear. I try my best to be empathetic, and understanding, but we actually had a big blowout about it yesterday, because their YouTube algorithm is literally all political content. Nothing but Trump content. They mainlines political news every morning, and starts their day off in a tizzy… ranting and raving in the morning. We both work from home. Some mornings, I just want to start quietly and peacefully…. not enraged.. My partner then says I’m burying my head in the sand. I’m not. I vote, I stay informed, but there needs to be limits on how much of our time and energy gets dedicated to Trump. Truly exhausting.
Yes. Or discuss some boundary validating that it’s important to her and also wearing on your mental health or whatever. Thus specifying a daily 20 minute block of time to discuss the politician or whatever.
It’s reasonable to ask anything. What’s not reasonable is to demand a specific response. What will you do if you ask her and she just keeps doing it? Or if she says ‘You’ve ruined my life by asking that’?
Just ask her, calmly.
Is it reasonable to ask a partner to stop doing something that affects your mental health?
Absolutely. A partnership built of respect and love for each other can survive that request.
One way or another, you’ll see her true character once you make that request, especially if you frame it as something that will give your greater peace of mind.
Best of luck to you.
It’s absolutely reasonable to take a break from discussing politics.
From every healthy relationship I’ve seen, communication and boundaries are key. You have every right to ask her to tone it down on the political discussion and she needs to meet you somewhere in the middle. I’m sure she won’t be able to completely stop talking about politics, but she should let up for sure if you’re asking.
I feel like I would ask the next time I saw her, not the next time she brings it up
I have a no politics after 11pm rule I am trying to relax
You probably want to find a middle ground. You both have some feelings about this unnamed politician and you’re coping with it in very different ways.
You have to give your GF time and space to talk about something that matters to her. On the other hand, I think it’s not unreasonable for you to ask for time and space that’s politics-free. So I don’t think it’s reasonable for you to ask your girlfriend to stop talking about politics every day. But it might be reasonable to say, “Hey, dinnertime is our time – I want it to be stress-free for the next hour.” Conversely, I think you need to be someone who listens and says, “Hey, I get it, that guy sucks. Tell me more.” That’s what an attentive partner does. You should decide if an attentive partner is someone you want to be or not.
But here’s what I really want to suggest: maybe if she was more actively engaged and directed her frustrations in to action, she would shut up about it? Are there local protests she can attend? Or local organizations she can give time to? Or even work for a political campaign? Perhaps she’s talking about it so much because she feels helpless. Getting involved would at least take some of that helplessness away.
You’re going to get a bunch of turbo redditor comments in here, but it’s reasonable to ask for some basic self-control here.
its likely you’re not compatible. Had a similar issue. The thing is you are stoic, and she is not. You try to only invest in what you can control. Nowadays, complaining about politics all day yet actually doing nothing about it apparently is what counts for political participation. Americans are actually pretty pathetic in this regard.
Idk, the whole thing exhausts me. I just put distance between my self and those people even if I agree with them. And also eventually the rage and anger will be taken out on you.
My wife, tho politically compatible, doesn’t like how worked up I get. So I keep it light around the house. She’s the more emotionally stable of the two of us so harmony-wise it’s for the best.
My husband and I often have to say “I can’t focus on the bad right now. No politics tonight.” And that’s that. We will watch the news in the morning.
You’re not going to get an honest answer to this. If you posted this last year and said that all she was doing was talking about a politician and HER supporters and ranting about how much she dislikes her, you would get very different answers.
Instead of “She must talk about it because it affects her,” they would say, “She shouldn’t talk about it because you don’t like it.”
Instead of “She’s just passionate,” they would say, “She’s just a bigot!’
If it is seriously straining your relationship to be involved in these conversations, remove yourself and suggest she speak with one of her friends or a therapist instead. You have spent the last 6 months being supportive and you’re tired.
> mostly about one particular politician
Look, some people are just really fascinated by James K. Polk, okay? You’re either on board with the Napoleon of the Stump or you’re not. Henry Clay lost for a reason.
It’s more than reasonable. I am not one who cares to talk about it so if my partner brought it up every single day… it would be a drain.
It’s definitely reasonable, but it might be a hard thing for her to just turn off. Ime, people who are overbearing in that regard are often projecting insecurity about feeling ineffective or powerless. Talking about it gives them the sensation they’re doing something about when they really aren’t. Might be a good idea to encourage her to get into volunteering or being active in her community as an outlet.
Absolutely reasonable. You could always take an hour a week and give her feedback on what actions she wants to take, but if all she wants to do is vent daily about her frustrations… she probably needs to find a different outlet.
Of course its reasonable why do people ask questions like this? You should be happy and comfortable in a relationship it shouldn’t feel like work.
Tell her you’re tired of hearing about it and why. If she starts shouting and arguing you know she’d not the one for you.
Yes it’s reasonable. Tell her there is a time and place to talk about Chester A. Arthur, but too much of it gives you depression.
I had this recently with my partner. And I just politely said that I wanted to unsubscribe lol. That said, there was one day when he seemed really down and I asked what was up but he said he didn’t want to tell me because it was political – but I made it clear if he NEEDED to talk about something because he felt troubled then of course we could.
It’s about communicating your needs and listening to theirs and working out how you can best meet both of those. For example, can she chat to a friend who is equally invested, or you have boundaries on when you can talk politics.
I’d say you’re going to have to fill the void with something not just asking her to stop. Plan intentional conversations about thinking and family life or other interests that are more graspable and actionable.
Yes, it is reasonable to set boundaries. I like to keep informed, but my wife wants to watch and talk about the news constantly. Personally, it stresses me the f out, so I communicated that to her. Since setting the boundary she has been pretty good about keeping the Drumpf talk to a reasonable level.
So my advice is to communicate how you feel to your gf. Any partner that truly cares about you will listen and try to respect a boundary like this to ensure your happiness, stress level, and mental health.
Opposite stress reactions. Hers is to talk, yours is to try to avoid it. Now, it is quite likely that this has different impact on the two of you. If you are a white cis man, and she is a white cis woman, and you guys are in USA? She is at a genuinely higher risk these days than you are.
Figure out some way to meet on the middle. Maybe both of you can engage in something actively one a week, have a 15 min rant daily and then keep it off topic the rest of the day?
I had to tell my mom to stop telling me things. I check on shit once a week and that’s all my time he gets… I don’t wanna hear it unless there’s something I can actually do about it, and there’s very little I can really do about the shit on TV every single day.
She tries not to but still does.
Be really careful how you approach this. There’s almost no way for this to come out as “you’re annoying and I don’t want to hear you talk about this anymore”. If it’s something she cares about, and she sees you don’t care, it’s going to sting.
There aren’t normal times. I think it’s understandable to feel a need to vent and share your frustration during times of crisis. If you can’t deal with that, you two may need more compatible mates.
It’s very reasonable. I asked my husband to please leave me out of it. He’s addicted to political commentary on TikTok. I rather just watch cute animals and cooking vids. I’ve told him, if the news is big enough it’ll reach me, it always does.
Man I hear you. I have a friend in my group where everything he says has to be about the state of America and Trump. Even when he jokes, the joke usually somehow involves Republicans or Trump. Like, I get it bro. It sucks. But I’m tired of hearing about it and I just want to go one game night without it.
First off, no need to be coy, we all know exactly which politician you’re referring to.
Secondly, it might be worth having this conversation with her. I think part of the concern is that we won’t necessarily be able to “wait out” his term, given all of the laws he has violated already to get what he wants. He has made it very clear that he intends to violate the constitution even more than he already has. Making opposition votes illegal, or some other form of election manipulation, would be completely on-brand for him.
Maybe the reason she keeps ranting to you about him is because she feels that you aren’t as concerned as she is, which makes her even more scared that she won’t be able to handle the hardships to come. Or maybe she feels like dismissing the gravity of the problem is a tacit endorsement of the monstrosities being committed.
Bottom line, you need to get on the same page and communicate exactly why you don’t want to discuss this topic with her, and allow her to explain why she is so passionate.
I would recommend being extremely careful how you approach voicing your request.
Many women in the country I’m guessing you inhabit are experiencing intense fear right now due to the gradual erosion of their rights.
If you do ask her to limit the political discussion, it’s really important for it not to come across as dismissing any existential terror she might be feeling, even if she’s not quite expressing it in that way.
I wonder if there’s a deeper discussion for you two to have. Is the woman you love constantly gripped by fear? That might be worth exploring.
Of course, it might not be that at all. But it could be, and she might feel like you’re telling her she’s on her own in a fascist hellhole that doesn’t value her life.
My husband keeps doing this and I am on the brink of just peacing the fuck out. I don’t want to, but it’s truly unbearable. Like you, I see and hear about him everywhere, especially online. You can be informed without obsessively, maniacally ranting about it every single day. Literally will not talk about anything else. It’s maddening. The best part is, they rant but don’t do anything else just drone on and on.
Yes. It’s exhausting. Perfectly reasonable to not want to have those discussions at home all the time.
I’m your girlfriend in this position. I’m very politically active and care a lot about what’s going on in politics. My wife generally agrees with my positions but cares significantly less. Particularly of things that won’t have any short term impact on our family. So if I’m talking about politics a lot she just gets irritated.
What I’ve found helps the most are two things:
1- limit how often you talk about things. Suggest to her certain times to talk politics but make sure you respect that time when it comes. She cares about politics and it’s unreasonable to expect her to not share that with you.
2- balance the negatives with positives. If I’m going to talk politics with my wife, I make sure to always open with something good first. Doesn’t even have to be all that important. Just something positive. Suggest to her the same method. If she says she can’t find anything positive to talk about then she needs to mix up where she’s getting sources from or have a different outlook. (A good example is RFK trying to ban phones in schools. He thinks 5G causes cancer or something so the “why” is kinda stupid but the actual result is something lots of people support)
I don’t have an SO (sadly), but my family does the exact same thing. Even whenever we go out to eat! Like, ok, I know the world sucks, right now, but there has to be other things to talk about, right? It’s so exhausting to hear, every single day, and it’s honestly starting to make me angry. I’m someone who can’t afford to move out, right now, but I have just about nowhere to go, other than my room, to get away from it all…. I love my fam, but…. I’m also jobless, right now, so I don’t have a say against it if I tried talking with them about it and how I feel.
Like, I’m so over politics, and hate it so much, now, I wish I could never hear a word of it, ever again. Because I swear, it’s like my fam is obsessed…. Like, enough, already….!
Have a calm discussion about how it is affecting your mental health. Set up a worry time of twenty minutes at an agreed upon time. If she starts talking about it gently remind her that you guys are talking about it during worry time.
I have announced across my social media accounts that if you’re a Friend and all you post is political, I won’t like or respond to any such posts even when I agree, because I don’t need to have my nose rubbed in how shitty life is every.frickin.hour. And I stick to it. If I had someone trying to do it IRL I’d just dump them, frankly. And that would be doubled if it’s just someone I’m dating.
Is she on Reddit a lot?
Being an informed adult is exhausting right now. I wish I didn’t give a fuck. Truly. But I care and that’s honestly where I fucked up. This is understandable. Completely.
From reading these comments, I feel like I am in the minority, where my wife and I rarely talk about politics, definitely not daily. If there is something big or newsworthy, we may have a conversation, but its never anything long and drawn out.
Perfectly reasonable. I stopped talking to my wife about 80% of it because it have her pretty bad anxiety. Now I’ll only tell her crucial stuff or I’ll add context to something that she sees and asks me about.
Dude, I’m right there with you. My spouse wakes up and consumes political news and I’ve been trying to take a mental health break from all of (gestures broadly) this.
Here we just sort of split the things we pay attention to. The spousey gets the news for the stuff they care about and I do the same. Some of our stuff intersects and that’s the stuff we talk about.
Look, I don’t know if either of you are right or wrong or something in the middle. Maybe your gf can tone it down a bit when you’re feeling flighty and maybe you can light a little fire in your heart when she’s feeling fighty.
Completely reasonable.
Politics is divisive and inflammatory, and for most people it just brings nothing but stress about issues you can’t change. Voting in the “right” people doesn’t work when they’re all evil, selfish, and corrupt.
I lived it op. Asked, then begged, then demanded she stop but she would chase me from room to room droning on and on. Kept hoping it would get better but after several years of this and other things related, our marriage was ruined. I couldn’t even talk about the weather without it turning into a 45 minute political lecture. We went to two different marriage counselors. She fired the first one when he told her she needed additional counseling for her obsessive behavior and the second one really was unequipped to deal with her. We ended up divorced.
Not sure how far gone your gf is but you should encourage her to seek counseling. If she is like my ex, she is living a miserable life filled with irrational fears and stress. It’s very hard being around someone so negative all the time. Try and frame it to where you care about her and maybe start with a qualified mental health counselor/marriage counselor under the “let’s both work on our relationship and how we communicate” ploy. I hope she gets help and can enjoy the good things in her life. My ex is still a miserable person to be around from what I’ve heard. I feel bad for her and wish she could be happy again like the old person she used to be but I’m afraid that person is gone forever.
I’ve been living blissfully ignorant of the news since 2016 and I love it. Except when at work and that’s all anybody wants to talk about so I completely get it.
Reading this post and the responses, I absolutely know why this country is in the state it is.
There’s a very mature way to handle this.
Both just need to talk maturely about it. Not necessarily to tell her no more. But ask her why she is doing what she is doing and how does that makes her feel. Then how it makes you feel. Lastly how to come to a solution together.
These types of discussions especially at a possible impass is tough. You will need cool and mature heads.
It was tough but for me. I was in a similar situation and combined with my downbeat cynical demeanor it can be rough.
I had to first understand the emotional toll and whether venting was helpful or not. From there find a balance of being stoic but aware of whats going on.
It can be limiting social media or news.
Focusing on something more positive like working out again.
Or find better moments to blow off steam.
But this was me recognizing an issue in myself and actively managing it.
So the challenge for you is.
When its about someone else, its really up to them to be open to listen, accept, and ultimately change.
Just validate but divert, and do it transparently.
Let her rant and get it out but at a certain point tell her she needs to focus on her own happiness too for a bit. She is going to wear herself out too if she hasn’t already.
Show her a good time and get her mind off of things. It’s important not just for your mental health but hers as well.
It is completely reasonable. And quite frankly, it’s probably impacting her mental health as well. I used to be like that. And my whole family suffered until they couldn’t take it any longer. Since they brought it to my attention, I realized just how much of a toll the constant ranting was taking on my mental health. Since then, I’ve not only toned down talking about it, but I’ve also removed myself from a lot of social media platforms to distance myself from it. And I’ve noticed a vast improvement in my mental wellbeing.
My wife has been randomly doing this as well. I’ll tell her a story about someone doing something shitty and she’ll be like “I bet they’re __ supporters!”. Its driving me nuts! I have said “babe, let’s not do this. Let’s not turn everything into politics”. I won’t lie, we are a queer family and we have been very stressed and scared. But I don’t want it to be my whole life. I need moments of joy in my day to day, not a constant reminder of the orange terror breathing down our necks. I don’t think it’s unreasonable to say “hey, I need to talk about it less”. And I need to take my own advice and sit down and have an actual conversation with my wife about this.
If it’s bothering you, yes. You’re both in this relationship and both of your feelings matter.
Having been on the receiving end of this ask: my wife had a simple and easy-to-honor request. If I’m going to do something about it (protest, march, donate, phone call, phone bank, volunteer), or if it will materially impact her tomorrow (not hypothetically, not in the future, but like “Hey don’t go downtown tomorrow there’s gonna be a march”), she’s interested. If not, I’m just reading her the news and the news is depressing as shit. She already has enough on her mind trying to survive this hellscape that she doesn’t need to know how it’s hitting other people; it sucks all around and she can’t afford to give into despair.
This has worked well. I keep an eye out for real threats and she works the problems in front of her. I have other friends to talk to when I really have to vent about the idiots in charge these days.
I am saying this as someone whose partner had to ask me to stop talking about politics everyday lol, I think it’s fine and not unfair to set boundaries around this as long as your respectful. My partner basically said the same thing to me, that it’s not that they don’t care, but it’s exhausting to have to engage with it every single day. They also said they don’t mind talking about it, but just not every single day at length. They were very respectful and it didn’t make me angry. My new rule for myself is I ask myself “Am I going to start ranting at length about this if I bring it up”, and if the answer is yes, I don’t bring it up lol
This is bait.
My girlfriend was doing the same thing. It was wearing me out. Even though I agreed with most of what she said. I finally told her I’m not willing to give that man and those people that much energy anymore because it’ll be a long four years.That I could take about five minutes of political talk a day and that’s it. After that I’m not interested.
Eisenhower?
Not everyone can talk politics 24/7, but it’s bold of you to think we can just wait it out 3.5 more years when he’s literally making himself a king and coming after judges, the last people who can really do something to stop him
When you talk to her, I recommend actually changing how you phrase “taking a break from politics” and reframing it as something like “you need some time away from the topic to recharge so you can keep at it later.” I went to an artist talk in March and after she said that it really stuck with me, I think it will feel more validating for her too. Mentally exhausting you is part of their goal so it’s important to take breaks when you need them and don’t become complacent
We all need to do something about it. While we still can.
Reasonable to set boundaries. “Wait out the term” really saying a lot though. I hope you reconsider that type of thinking for the sake of people in your life who don’t have the same luxury.
Well he’s actively trying to become a dictator and kill anyone who isnt a ball licker to him sooooo you being bored of hearing about it is on you not her.
And this folks… is how fascism takes hold.
No. You and everyone else needs to be ranting about what’s going on. It’s gotta stop.
As a woman, the rights they are chipping away at are terrifying in a way you can’t truly understand if you aren’t a woman. That is just one thing in a series of actions being taken in the U.S. right now that is reverberating throughout the world. I live in Canada and can’t ignore what is going on because it is directly affecting us. Maybe if “you know who” stopped doing something new and horrific every day, she wouldn’t feel the need to talk about it every day.
Must be nice to be able to wait this term out
I’ve always been passionate and involved in politics- like knock on doors, register voters, volunteer for campaigns, serve as delegate to state party conventions, worked for the legislature- kind of involved. And ironically, I don’t like talking about politics much. I prefer to take action rather than engage in pointless debates and posting on social media.
I think your attitude of focusing on what you can control is healthy and productive at this time. People are going to be who they are. A politician is not inclined to stop doing the things that helped him rise to power, even if you find those things infuriating. Voters often make choices based on emotion rather than logic. Politics is an ink-blot test: people see what they want to see and vote that way even if it’s against their interest.
Giving time and money you can spare to candidates and causes you believe in is something you can do. Reading books on history rather than watching 24 hour news cycles or scrolling social media feeds will give you a much better and more empowered perspective on what’s happening right now. And taking care of yourself physically and mentally is also important to prevent the feelings of despair and overwhelm that I think some factions want us to feel.
It’s ok to tell your girlfriend you love her and are interested in her thoughts, but you actually need some space to not have to think about the state of the world. We need the mental break. You can set aside time to talk about current events and then agree at some point, we need to put it way for the night and talk about grounding things, or not at all. Sometimes we have to turn the brain off and recoup.
You can also find out if there are rallies or events happening that you can participate in together. When the topics of conversation feel too despairing you can say “I know I’m mad too! There’s a get out the vote drive next week, we should volunteer there, it’ll make us feel better!”
Have a real discussion about how her actions are making you feel. Once a relationship begins to weigh on your mental well-being, it’s time to consider if the relationship is worth it.
People that love talking politics, usually take offense when u don’t want to.
I had to tell my husband that his constant rants and comments were too much and I wouldn’t engage or even listen going forward. It didn’t matter if I agreed with him, he somehow felt this needed to be discussed every day. He finally stopped once I began to leave the room.
I have to tell my husband this. Just be nice and say you fully understand her concern/perspective but it brings you down to talk about it every single day. Tell her it’s not good for your mental health.
I just disengaged completely and my partner got the message. It was too much anger and hate all the time. So we talk less but it’s a price worth paying as far as I’m concerned. I’m a pretty reserved person anyway and generally try to speak only when necessary.
One thing that was life changing for me is I stopped listening to political podcasts and unfollowed every political subreddit. I was non stop consuming news. My whole personality changed when I did this because the news was all I could talk about. I assume I was miserable to be around.
I think a lot of society has an unhealthy relationship with how we consume news. News companies want to keep you scared so you have to keep coming back for more news. I’m not saying there is nothing to be scared about, but how the news is presented these days makes it worse.
I have this policy with my wife. I don’t talk about politics. I don’t want to be around people that talk about politics. I will leave the room or the situation when it comes up. I know the world is a shit storm, constantly talking about it is just going to harm my mental health in the long run because I’ll ruminate on it.
I don’t think it’s out of line to ask your girlfriend to not talk about it all the time. Especially if you explain how it’s affecting you as a person (being worn out, causing you distress, etc.)
I requested a “no politics after 9pm” rule from my wife and she is obliging. Im a pretty political guy, but Im analytical and practical, where she is an idealist and feels it all. Conversations after 9 tended to be pretty emotional for her which got me worked up. Having a mutual cutoff is good for both of us
Yes, completely reasonable. Protect your own mental health. From experience the last time around, it wore me down – every single day rant and raving, 4 years of will this make everyone realize how bad he is? I’ve since put up the boundary.
People who make their entire identity about politics are insufferable unless you also do so AND agree with each other.
Your request is very reasonable. I now refuse to get involved in political discussions with people I don’t know. All is does is either depress me or make me angry. It’s like people have forgotten how to have a non-political convo. I mean I get it, this isn’t to say I’m not bothered by things going on, I just really need to limit my exposure for my own mental health. Constant ranting is easy to do, changes nothing and is a sign they need to step away from the daily doom seeking they’re doing. I have an 80 yr old friend who went to Brownsville to volunteer legal aid for immigrants. She’s not sitting in front of the screen bitching about things, she’s doing something about it.
You’re not wrong, it’s exhausting. And it’s almost like they’re fetishizing their own political anxiety.
I know exactly what you mean, I’ve had that conversation with my wife. I’ve even had to take a break from comedy talk shows because I feel overwhelmed and it increases my anxiety to difficult levels. That conversation basically went, “Talking about and hearing about politics is too stressful for me right now. I understand that you need to vent in order to deal with it, but can we try to limit it to a level we are both comfortable with. I understand there are a bunch of things being said and done that would outrage me, but it’s better for my mental health to try and not think about it too much.” I’m paraphrasing and I’m sure I didn’t say it that well, but she understood and now if it’s too much I just mention that I can’t deal with that info right now and we change the subject.
One tip I’ve learned from experience is not to wait to bring it up when it’s making you on edge already. Bring it up when you and her are both calm, it makes for a better exchange. Just make sure she understands that it’s not that you don’t care, it’s that you agree with her on the subject and you sympathize with her in how she needs to process, it’s simply that you can not process it the way she does because it is too difficult.
Hope this helps
I’m the same way with my dad who spends all day watching CNN and finds a way to bring him into every conversation. I can’t tell him how to get his news even if i disagree with his approach, but I can limit my own and change the subject. I’ve noticed how much more stressed I get if I let the social media algorithms put headlines in front of me all the time, very few of which I can do anything about. I try to limit myself to handful of news sources I enjoy to stay informed, and focus on calls to action. I don’t really want to hear “Did you hear about what he did today?” I wanna know what i can do today about it.
I mean I’m sure the people directly affected by his policies hate hearing about him everyday too but they don’t really have a choice.
It wears us out too. As women we have more stake in this game. So yes you are in the wrong here. Learn to adapt to tumultuous times or get out.
No, it’s not reasonable. The US is currently faced with an existential crisis that goes far beyond what is normally just “political”. If you aren’t concerned, angry, and activated to do something about it, you’re part of the problem.
This has become really common lately and it’s tanking our collective mental health. I worried myself sick for a while with politics until I finally decided to go outside and touch grass. Now I focus on touching grass and I ignore the politics. Told my partner I don’t want to talk about politics anymore. Best decision I’ve made in a long time.
I know a guy who keeps sending me videos about how awesome it would be if he ran for a third term. Plot twist: neither of us are American.
If my roommate and I talked about every single thing this guy did, we’d never stop. It’s awful and unhinged. But instead, my roommate asks me at the end of the day if he can share the major things I need to know.
Maybe have a conversation with your gf that talking about this person constantly erodes your mental health and you need a break for it. If there’s anything she believes you really need to know, you can set a half hour each day where she can give you the clifnotes version for relevant info, not a vent sesh. If she just needs to vent about everything he’s doing, maybe she needs a different friend or even a therapist for that.
Why are you asking reddit instead of your GF? It’s reasonable to ask for peace.
I broke up with my ex because she didn’t stop talking about politics. Beside that she was super duper woke and I as someone who is very left wasn’t left enough so she always tried to “re-educate” me in a very annoying way.
Honestly I suggest you find a hobby you both enjoy and talk about that more. Get into that bubble. Politic bubbles are rabbit holes and all end in depression honestly. Best is to not go on twitter or other social media, just enjoy the day outside.