My mil wanted a cousins only photo consisting of her son and daughter and their 4 cousins along with my 9 month daughter. I felt like that was her way to get me out of the picture. Is this a rude request or not?
Edit just to add that they wanted my daughter in the picture because she is considered a first cousin once removed 🫠
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It’s not rude at all. Sounds like a normal request. Many people take a lot of cousin pics. I don’t know her, maybe it was personal but in my experience it wasn’t.
If it was “cousins only” why was your daughter included? I admittedly don’t have a good relationship with my MIL, so if she asked for just a picture of my husband with his siblings, cousins, and our kids, I wouldn’t like it. Like, those kids wouldn’t be there if it wasn’t for me carrying them for 9 months. Were any of his cousins or siblings partners involved in the picture as well and she only left you out?
It could be rude, yes. That depends on whether you’re constantly being left out or cropped out of pictures, though.
When my family is together, there’s a good chunk of time spent on pictures. Would usually go grandparents with their kids, then grandparents with their kids and spouses, then a whole group photo of everyone. All of us cousins would get grouped together for shots of “just the kids.” Then there were whatever shots whoever held the camera last had chosen to take.
It all depends on context, imo.
It isn’t odd other than the inclusion of your child, who is NOT a cousin.
It depends on the general vibe. When we visit my in-laws, they do a generation picture of the women. I am not included. We don’t share blood. But my daughter is. It’s my husband’s grandma, his mother, sister, daughter and nieces, aunt, and female cousins. I’m not offended. His brother’s long-term girlfriend isn’t included either.
MIL also likes a picture of just her kids.
This sounds totally normal to me
OP, Are you, holding your child ( or DH holding the child) in the first 2-3 photos?
This comes up fairly frequently on this sub. Photos that are blood relatives only are fairly common and not necessarily intended to “exclude” people who married into the family but it can feel a bit like you’re being excluded if you’re the one asked to step out.
Personally I feel that if they were taking other pictures with everyone in them then no its not rude to want one with just the grandchildren/cousins/siblings/women/men, etc. If they’re just taking blood relatives only photos then that is a little rude and I’d suggest your partner step up and say he’d like one with ALL the family or words to that effect.
As long as both people getting married are in the picture there’s not a problem unless they’re not letting you do the same thing with other side of the family. Also take into account who is paying for the pictures because that’s the person who gets final say so, & next would be the bride & groom, imo no one else gets any input
It’s not off at family events to take all types of photos. Just siblings. Just siblings and their spouses. Just cousins. Just one bloodline of the family.
I was at a wedding a few years ago, and they got a picture with my husband and his siblings, their father, and their grandmother who was almost 100 years old. At her 100th birthday party there were many photos taken like this. Some included partners and some did not. They were groupings of her children, her grandchildren, her great grandchildren. I don’t think anyone took offense when their child was in a photo, but they were not.
Yeah, this seems normal to me. I only have one first cousin and we usually take cousins only photos and then with our kids and partners.
This is normal IMO. We usually take one “cousins only” and one “cousins and their partners” photo with Grandma every Christmas (all the cousins are her grandkids).
Totally normal in my family. There’s a 5 generation photo treasured by the family.
This is normal to me but we do it in phases. We start with everyone, then we take our different people and eventually get down to just cousins
Normal in my family.
We do those all the time
Very normal. Often people do 2 lots of photos- one with the direct relatives and one with partners/extras.