Hi! I’m 18F, and I’m looking for some advice or perspective. My first love (18M) and I were good friends since elementary school and dated for about 4 years until my freshman year of high school. I broke up with him—first gently because I wanted to focus on school, then a few months later in a much colder way, because I felt stuck and bored of the repetitive dates and texts of the relationship. I was 14, mentally in a bad place, and started liking someone else. It was a stupid and selfish move, and I’ve regretted it since.
He was always kind to me, and even after everything, I never stopped caring about him. We didn’t talk for a while, but by Sophomore year we were friends again and talked pretty often. I realized I still had feelings for him. We’ve drifted in the past couple years, but recently I reached out, and the conversation felt warm—he even asked to hang out soon. I still have feelings for him, as mentioned before. I’ve realized I might want to try pursuing another relationship with him.
Here’s my dilemma:
- I don’t know if he still has romantic feelings as I do or if he’s just being friendly.
- I’m moving for university after summer, and he doesn’t like long distance.
- We’re both artsy, and I’m worried about financial instability if things ever got serious again.
- I’m scared of hurting him again. I already broke his heart once, and I’d hate to do it again, even unintentionally.
Is it selfish to want to reconnect romantically, or should I just keep things platonic before things get too serious? I do care about him deeply either way, but I’m lost and afraid of doing the wrong thing. Any advice is appreciated! T_T
tl;dr: I (18F) want to reconnect with my first love (18M), who I dated for 4 years before breaking up with him at 14. I still have feelings and we recently started talking again, but I’m scared of hurting him again or making a selfish move. I’m unsure if I should pursue something romantic or keep things platonic.
Comments
You were 10. I’m not sure how much stock you can put into the kind of girlfriend you were at 10 years old.
Go for it.