my boyfriend wants me to lose weight, because he doesn’t find me ‘hot enough’. He says he wants me to be a better version of myself, since I have a lot of potential. I have lost 10 kgs in the past 1 year but at the cost of crying, him screaming at me for eating, not going out, constantly fatshaming me and comparing me to other girls who are ‘thinner’. I can’t even eat in front of him, it makes me puke, because he’s always keeping an eye on what I’m eating.
I do feel better about losing weight but my mental health has gone down the gutter. And weight is not the only thing he pick ups. He has a problem with my personality, what kind of clothes I wear, who I hangout with. He wants to control everything I do in the name of ‘I want you to up yourself, and not be mediocre’.
Initially he used to scream at me publicly, not caring who’s around. After probably 6 months of me going through that, I had a crazy breakdown once, after which he lessened doing that. Every decision that I take revolves around him and I feel stuck. I want to get out of thay relationship, but we’re in the same college 24*7 and it’s so hard to not be around him. Also he wants to marry me?? I’m not clear of what to do- gals pls help
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You already know the answer, you just need validation. He’s a prick and not good for you, do you want to be stuck with this man for the rest of your life? Leave him.
Don’t be worried about having to see him at college, i mean people break up all the time. Literally thousands of people have partners in college they break up with.
Yes he’s toxic.
In healthy relationships… (If the partner insist on being so active in your weightloss Journey): then the partner should be supportive, he could help you keep motivation up, help make healthy choices and give you space to work out (or go with you to work out). Help making meal plans or cooking/do meal preps.
If you had a daughter who was to tell you this, what would you tell her? You know what you need to do.
Yes, he’s toxic. That’s abuse.
If he honestly wanted you to be a better version of yourself, he’d be letting you decide what a better version of you is.
Oh love. This is horrific behaviour from him, quite abusive. The public screaming is a very big red flag. As is the nitpicking and second guessing he seems to be doing. It’s undermining your confidence and I can’t imagine its good for your nervous system being around him. He’s not building you up, but tearing you down with his speech and actions. You deserve a partner who makes you feel relaxed, appreciated and empowered to be your best self. Not someone who erodes at your self esteem by calling you mediocre, comparing you unfavourably to others, and making you conform to his wishes. People like this will wear you down until there’s nothing left of you. Please don’t marry him. You deserve better.
You’re in an abusive relationship, and that relationship has also fucked up your relationship with food and your body. Get out and don’t look back. You will be happier and healthier for it.
Girl, it’s time to go. Pack your shit. Lots of other people in your college have gone through horrible break ups and survived. There’s no shame in leaving an abusive prick.
You’re young. Choose to live a good life and leave this piece of trash person at the curb.
The best weight to lose is the weight of this dude in your life.
A supportive partner wants to see you be happy with yourself. Not completely change who you are for him.
You are able to identify that he’s abusive and controlling, and you’re a wreck as a result, but you’re asking what to do? What do you think you should do?
GIRL….
Have a word with the tutors/supervisors at your college and tell them that you’re in an abusive relationship with another student, ask them what protections they will put in place to help you avoid harassment or abuse at your college campus.
Whoooooah why are you with this absolute cretin of a person?
You do NOT deserve this.
Leave him.
Please dump this abusive loser. Like, yesterday.
Nope, nope, nope. Get out.
I genuinely don’t know why you’d stay with a jerk like this.
Please take a line from him and “improve yourself” but dumping this controlling loser
You are being abused babes, big time.
A partner should love you, warts and all, not love the “potential” you have and then scream at you to get you to achieve it.
I honestly am at a loss for words of how bad this is. Get out now, you will lose 200lb that way and your mental health will improve.
He’s not just toxic. He’s abusive. Plenty of people will love you for who you are, not who they want you to be. (Pro tip: he’s tearing down your self esteem so that you won’t feel strong enough to leave him.)
Do not even entertain marrying this jerk.
It may be hard to break up and have to see him around. I went through that, we had tiny living spaces inside a building for work, and I had to see him every day, share meals, and get into a new relationship, sleeping a few doors down from me. Awful? Yes. Did I die? No. And we broke up for wayyyy less than what this asshole is doing to you.
Bite the bullet, I promise is not going to be as bad as allowing this mean creature to keep ruining your health and standing in your way. I urge you to do whatever you can to take yourself off that terrible pairing, recruit your friends and treat this as detox.
Stop weight-loss measures for now, be hostile. Dress terrible for his taste, but something that makes you happy.
Leave him. Please listen to us.