I recently found out about this term and I think it fits my sexuality pretty well.
“experiencing sexual feelings and attraction only after developing a close emotional relationship and not on the basis of first impressions, physical characteristics, etc.”
After realizing that this wasn’t really the norm for most people, I also found out that I can’t imagine myself in a happy relationship with someone who isn’t demisexual. It would be a turn off to me if they had a perception of sex and love too different from mine. I think this is a fair standard but I’m wondering what other people think.
Comments
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Nah I think it’s valid. I consider myself demi too. I don’t think it’s unrealistic to only want to date men that want to form a bond before being intimate. I think it’s very feasible.
It’s valid. Preferring people that can relate to your values and ways of partaking in intimacy / relationships in general is not a bad thing.
Keep in mind that there will be people who need/want a close emotional bond before sexual attraction or activity without identifying as demi too
It’s not unrealistic to want a partner with a similar type of attraction pattern.
It could, however, complicate finding a partner, since not many people tick that way.
And prepare mentally for people telling you that you are just so insecure that you can’t stand the thought of your partner finding other people attractive, even if he’s perfectly faithful.
Obviously not but good luck finding more than 1
If you don’t have the same/similar idea of sex/love it can cause all sorts of issues in a relationship, that is a very fundamental relationship aspect that you want to have mutual understanding on.
My partner checks a lot of boxes for me but, they do have a drastically different perception of sex than me (purely physical vs emotional), while it’s not a deal breaker for me since we match on most other things it has made understanding and being comfortable with certain things harder than it would be if we had the same perception of sex.
Realize, their are people that might not fall into that category, but thay also do that too. So many people that might also see someone attractive and get a buttfly or too, that also sometimes gets to know someone, become friends, then catches feelings later.
People that might not bother to label themselves or others. Just people that like what they like and no prejudice for others that like what they like.
What you want is totally valid, But wouldn’t be OK if they fell for you they way you hope but not fit that label specifically.
Now I’m an old guy, so these multitude of labels is confusing. So take this question as intended OP. Curious and not judging.
As a demisexual. (anyone can answer, truly curious as this is the first time even hearing about this label) How do you decide you want to be friends with someone. In my experience, something has to draw you to that person in the first place. Or do you look at all people as potential equal friends.
Do you find every person equally attractive or 100% neutral and equal, a 500 pound unkept person and the clean cut relatively fit person?
Once you get to know people and you have a large friend group, what is it about one person over another do you become attractive to them later? Meaning they were all people that treat you good, your friends and have things in common and like each other. Why one person over another?
I personally think that’s a reasonable and realistic want.