My girlfriend (19F) and I (20M) have been dating for about little over a year now and we’ve seen each other almost every weekend. Recently she said she has been feeling a little overwhelmed with our relationship and now she wants a little alone time. I find a little weird because she has never felt like this throughout our relationship and now she’s expressing that she wants some time to herself. I understand we need some time apart to ourselves but why now. We live about 40 minutes apart from each other so we don’t see each other throughout the week, only on the weekends because of work. I argue that we have our own time throughout the week to do our own thing like going to the gym, hanging out with friends, etc. We don’t really text as much as we used to so we don’t communicate as much as well. So is it wrong of me to feel weird or unwanted in a way when she ask for alone time? I don’t really understand where she is coming from either. I feel like our relationship has been pretty calm recently so for her to feel overwhelmed seems weird. We have talked about this too. She never really gave an explanation or tried to comfort my emotions, she just said theres nothing with us she just wants to be alone some nights. So now I feel like im just not wanted there. I understand if we can’t see each other some weekends but not wanting to is what I don’t get. So if everything is right between us and theres no problem going on, then how do I get over this feeling I have of not being wanted?
TL;DR I don’t know if my gf likes me anymore
Comments
Tbh it sounds like she’s not that into you. Or, she’s got something more going on here. Maybe ask her why she’s feeling overwhelmed with the relationship? Open communication and understanding is the best way to solve things I think.
I think your question is a valid one, and one she’ll need to answer at some point – does she like you anymore? For now, I would take a deep breath and a few weeks off, just give her a little space but don’t be resentful. Your feelings are hurt and that sucks, maybe hang out with some buddies on the weekends for a few weeks, then ask her “hey, how are you feeling? I want to respect your space, but I’d like to know that you want to still be in a committed relationship with me – not ever seeing each other won’t work for me in the long term.”
It may not even take that long if she can sense that you are willingly honoring her boundaries and can take a deep breath and decide what she wants.
If you’re working 40 hours a week there isn’t a whole lot you can do after work aside from things like dinner, store runs etc. maybe she wants to hang out with friends or family on weekends but can’t because you guys meet up every weekend. I think asking for a little more clarification would help a lot.
She’s 19; she’s just now figuring herself out and becoming her own person. Every person and relationship is different; sometimes I need alone/decompress time and sometimes my boyfriend does. We’re allowed and should have our own time! : ) Doesn’t necessarily mean she doesn’t want to date you; definitely be open and communicate. And if you decide you don’t want to be with someone that likes alone time; then you’re allowed to make that decision for yourself.
Hi there, my husband and I have been married for 10 years now. After work during the week, we do dinner and run errands. Do chores so we have what we need for the next day. Sometimes we get even less time than normal because we need to do a doctor’s (or dentist or haircut or whatever) appointment and get stuck in rush hour traffic for an extra hour of our evening. Heaven forbid you have to work a little extra. There is very little restful time during the week after work.
I’m going to guess your gf isn’t spending her entire week sitting there doing her hobbies or relaxing, she’s probably working and/or going to school, doing chores, making herself dinner, etc. Maybe she gets lucky every now and then and can hang out with her friends.
Everyone deserves some alone time to relax and do things they enjoy. Is it possible that there’s something going on in your relationship? Sure. But you should probably ask about it, rather than sitting here talking to strangers who don’t know her to try and speculate about worst case scenarios. If you can’t have a conversation about this, you probably shouldn’t be in a relationship. This is an easy question with plenty of good outcomes with it – imagine having to ask hard questions.
Talk to your gf. Listen.