I’m not lazy. I’m not depressed.
I’m just… tired of the pressure to constantly achieve.
I want calm mornings. Conversations that matter. A life with space.
But people treat that like I’m giving up.
Is it really so strange to want peace over productivity?
Do others feel this too?
Comments
I’m like you and yeah people will assume that something is wrong with you. I’m in my mid 40s now and people still act like something is wrong with me for not giving a crap about career achievements and whatnot.
Don’t worry about it though, nothing is wrong with you. People are just weird.
Its like i wrote this post
I relate so much and it is so frustrating.
Everyone in my proffession aims to open their own arch studio and im here just wanting to live in peace.
Everytime i mention i dont want that, they see me like im not good enough.
So no it is not strange and there is nothing wrong with it. Just do what feels good for you.
Many people want that. As long as you can afford it without being a burden to or relying on others, you’re all good.
In my 50’s and I was driving myself for a long time to climb ladders and shit. Now I see the positions I want going to people younger than me with less experience and I kind of figure “Ok, then if those opportunities passed me by I’ll just kick back and ride what I have till retirement” but somehow there remains this expectation that I want to continue grinding and pushing and like, no I won’t make partner at this point so fuck it, just give me cost of living increases and leave me the fuck alone for the next 15 years and I’ll get by. The system is rigged to break you down forever and it’s bullshit. You are more normal than you realize, at some point t you can’t get paid enough for the time you lose so make the most of the time.
Each to their own ability, each to their needs. One’s ability may be great but needs are few.. so there’s that…
Of course. But for me, I want the excitement of life. I want the fast car, a nice cozy apartment, a self-owned business and not just a job, and i dont want to settle down with a family of my own.
But for most people, they are ok with the regular life. And there’s nothing wrong with it.
But the reason why I want to live life “fast” is because I know that time can’t be reversed and when I grow old, I will slow down.
So rn where I am in my early 20’s, very energetic and trying to be not dumb, i think its more feasible for me to constantly doing things.
No, you just dont spend much time on instagram/facebook/tiktok
I always say this to myself, even though I have a job;
when Im on my deathbed, I will surely not remember the days at work and be like “fuck yeah I did good work that day and a lot of it, the entire day I’ve spent working hooray!” Fuck no
What I will remember, however, is days that were actually golden, that i actually enjoyed. These days shadow over the work achievements every single time.
When you’re 90 and having your last breaths, are you going to remember the work days or the days you actually lived, enjoyed and felt life?
In reality, it doesnt matter what you drive, do, any of that, im saying this even though I have a decent salary and a very decent car, it doesnt really matter at the end of the day
Both productive-loving and peaceful-wanting people are going to die either way, people with and without achievements. That is our doom, but yet, its what makes life beautiful. You dont need to do anything or be anyone to be able to enjoy life. You just have to open your eyes
Do enough to get by, and find contentment, happiness, intellectual pursuits and conversations, and explore your creative and active sides.
Not weird. I hit this myself a couple of years ago and realized I was just done with “kingdom building.”
I realized that I had worked for and had achieved a level of success that was making me very happy and I didn’t want “more.” I wanted to just continue to be good at what I was doing as it would give me areas of growth without having to look for the next big challenge.
Relax… it is ok. It is ok to be happy. Let other people do the race to… whatever the hell they are trying to find. I realized I had found most of what I was looking for and I was missing out on enjoying it. The few remaining things that I want are “decoration” and they are already on their way.
Replying to every comment with ChatGPT is crazy
I absolutely love that. I don’t think it’s weird at all, I think it’s lovely. Prioritising your mental health over outsiders expectations 💕
When I was 35 and my wife had just given birth to our son, she achieved a high level corporate job, complete with great salary and benefits. I was able to kick back some and get out of the “rat race”. I had the flexible job and took over a bit of the daily care of our son. We kept the same small house. We were able to function with a single car. It truly gave me a sense of peace that I had been lacking.
If you achieve peace you would have succeeded though.
I see true success in spending quality time with my family, friends and in nature while trying to maintain an attitude where I appreciate what I have. A shelter, healthy food and the right amount of financial security are blessings as well. I may not be the business successful kinda guy but for what I want I see myself as a more happy and in this regard successful person.
I’m the same way. Never cared for the biggest house, the fastest car, or whatever else people seem to go for. I just want to chill. You only live once and you can’t take it with you anyway.
Naw, nothing weird at all.
we live in a society that is defined by workaholics and narcissists with not much room left for any other personal disposition. it is completely normal to feel out of place in such an environment. Just have to find your niche somewhere
Same. But I have no idea whether I am being avoidant. Peace is nice. I have no idea how to have meaningful conversations.
Entirely depends. Sounds like you’re currently living a life of striving for success. What’s weird is completely unimportant. Why did you start to live life like this? Because you wanted to achieve something? Or because that’s what seemed expected of you? If it was because you wanted to achieve, you need to be introspective and honest with yourself, try to find out if this is your values truly changing or if it’s you caving under the pressure and actually giving up. If you’re living this life because that’s what’s expected of you then I think it’s time you start living your life instead of living someone else’s.
edited for some clarity
i used to get super upset that i’d never be a “somebody”. grew up in poverty in a broken, single parent household. have been disabled since birth and unable to work. never really made any friends or achieved much, even normal things most people don’t think much about. i’ll never be able to drive, get married, or live an exciting life. i’d tear myself apart and try so hard to be like everyone else – to be normal.
nowadays i’m happy to just exist. i am who i am. i do what i can and don’t beat myself up if i find there’s something i can’t do. i’ve learned to enjoy the small things. most of my day is spent watching youtube and cuddling with my cat. i wake up to birds singing. i get an awesome view of the sunrises and sunsets from my apartment. i have plants growing in my garden. i have some online friends who like talking to me and i hope someday i can make some irl ones. my life could be better but it could also be a hell of a lot worse.
there isn’t one set way to live and it’s sad we’re pushed to believe there is and if we don’t live it, we’ve failed somehow.
I’m 34 now and a few years ago I came to a similar realisation.
We’re brought up in a capitalist society of produce, produce, consume, consume so most people see their job/career as their identity and ideally their passion in life and that’s the norm.
That’s never worked for me. Never found a job I’m passionate about, even when I’ve tried to monetise hobbies/passions it just made me lose interest in them. I suddenly realised that it’s ok for work to just be work, not want to climb the ladder and just slow down and enjoy life.
I feel like people look at me like I’ve given up if I say that as well, but I don’t care, I’m happier now.
I think it’s the best status a human being can achieve on this planet.
I’m guessing that what you don’t like is not success itself but the possible strife and competitiveness that often comes with trying to reach it. But I respect your decision since different people have different priorities. Wishing for a peaceful life does make sense because it will give you a chance to enjoy life and appreciate what you do have.
Nothing wrong with that.
I feel there is this ‘invisible hand’ of pressure to constantly achieve because on a daily basis, we are constantly exposed to materialism – and who is doing better than us.
It was a stoic philosopher by the name of Epictetus who said that to be at peace, to be content, is to not allow your mind to be troubled by ‘passions’ – so those things which make you anxious. Its a state of mind called ‘Apatheia’.
https://whatisstoicism.com/stoicism-definition/what-is-stoic-apatheia/
Its about achieving equanimity – peace of mind.
I think the greatest success you can have in life is being able to achieve equanimity – the ability to not allow negative influences to disturb the mind. Difficult to achieve but i think remarkable if you can.
Just be yourself. Define success to you and make that your goal.
For some success is to be happy. For others it’s to make others happy. Or just to experience life.
Define your goals.
Make a plan to achieve them.
Surround yourself with people that can help you reach those goals.
After a lifetime of managing childhood depression, I’ve reached a place of acceptance and clarity. I choose to work minimally and have little interest in accumulating wealth.
While I care deeply about the state of the world, I’ve come to terms with the fact that financial means aren’t my path to making a difference. Instead, I focus on living mindfully, finding joy where I can, and helping others in any way I’m able.
If I had the money, I’d start working to get America back on its feet but am poor.
So, each day is a new opportunity to positively impact someone’s life. That perspective alone makes life feel meaningful. Never underestimate the transformative power of kindness.
Same wishes.
What is successful?
I work n have a decent salary and i am contented.
Peace of mind
Im Like you, My biggest Dream is to own a farm with horses and stuff, and where im from thats quite affordable too.
society pushes productivity hard, but choosing peace over constant grinding is a brave move, and plenty of others quietly feel the same way you do.