So my partner (31m) and I (29f) are in a bit of a disagreement about this. Our son is 3 and we live in the US… I have life insurance in case the worst should happen and I have gotten our son some without talking to my partner about it. My partner can get life insurance through his job, but has opted out at this moment. Mine and our son’s is through a third party, of which I pay for, not much, $20k each.
Now, my partner has hangups when it comes to death and preparing for the inevitable, because of his dad’s death during prime developmental years. He didn’t even want to visit his, now, late mother in the hospital when she was nearing the end, but I had convinced him to go so he could spend as much time with her as possible. Why? Because it would make it “real” for him, but after her passing he thanked me for kicking him in the rear so he had some time with his mom. Before she passed, she told me she was so happy he had come to see her in the hospital, because she didn’t think he would step foot in one to see her in the end.
Now, when I told him about our child’s life insurance policy, he asked me why I felt it necessary, because kiddo’s only 3. I reminded him that we were JUST looking at bulletproof backpacks for when he starts school and that I wasn’t willing to go into debt burying our child if the worst should happen. I reminded him that his mother didn’t have life insurance and the cost of getting the simplest cremation and service had cost several thousand and that the whole extended family had to pool their money to get her what she deserved.
I told him that I absolutely do not expect our kiddo to die, but that as a parent we have to think about all of it. I reminded him about our fight about getting a custody order drawn up in case we both pass and how it was just in case anything happened, not because something actually will happen.
He did concede that it is a good idea so we don’t go into debt, but said that I know how he feels about death and all that. I told him I do understand, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to let him live with his head in the sand or not tell him when I put measures into place regarding our child.
He said it’s just weird to have a policy for our toddler, but that he sees where I’m coming from.
So, is it weird to have a life insurance policy for our child?
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No it’s not werid
It’s not weird. We have a minimal amount on our children. If anything happens, it won’t ruin us financially to take care of them in the manner we wish.
It’s not weird. We have one on one of our children (our other child has too many health issues & the riders made it unaffordable). For the peace of mind that it is financially covered IF something did happen is worth it. I hope I’m throwing away money every month and never need it.
My employer has dependant life insurance as a benefit. Not weird at all.
No, it’s actually important. Insure for the amount it would cost to bury them. It sounds morbid, but imagine having a $15,000 bill on TOP of losing your child.
I have carried $20,000 on each of my children thru my employer and it cost me $1.17 per month. As a single mom if God forbid they were to pass away I want to be able to give them a proper burial. My children are in their 20’s and I have had this benefit from every employer.
It’s extremely normal. I don’t currently have one, but it’s on my list of things to take care of after i get a bit more out of debt.
If it’s a tiny plan for funeral costs only, it makes sense. It is weird to have a six figure policy on a little kid.
I think it’s not only not weird, it should be expected. From the moment I could fathom life insurance for myself, I had my children covered. It sucks terribly to think about our children being hurt, sick, and/or dying, but those are very real possibilities in the world, and the unfortunate part of it all is, even with all the grief around any of those things, there are costs involved. For sick and hurt, there is health insurance. But if the worst happens, life insurance would be there to help take that burden off of your shoulders.
We have life ins on our toddler, I don’t want to be worrying about money and going to work to pay the bills if I lose my child.
Something else to consider is my sister who was diagnosed type 1 diabetic as a small child already had life insurance before diagnosis so they couldn’t cancel her, that policy lapsed by fault of my parents and when they went to reinsure her after it became almost impossible or insanely expensive. Being insured before problems are discovered is always good (though I suspect this might depend on the laws of the country somewhat).
It’s financially unsound, but common. Life insurance is income replacement. Your child doesn’t have income. You should focus on building savings that can pay for an unexpected event, which can include the incredibly unlikely event of a child’s death, but includes multiple other, more likely, events.
If you’re looking at bulletproof backpacks, I’d say you might be too anxious about your child’s safety.
What’s weird isn’t that you have life insurance for your kid, it’s that your husband doesn’t take advantage of it through his work, because he should be trying to take care of you both.
Bulletproof backpacks? JFC.
As long as it’s a very inexpensive plan that just covers the cost of a funeral, it sounds reasonable to me. We don’t have life insurance on our kids myself because we could cover the cost of a funeral with our emergency in the unlikely event we needed one. But, if you prefer to have insurance, I wouldn’t tell you you’re weird. Life insurance for a kid should be very, very affordable because kids are so unlikely to die.
But, you should be cautious, because a lot of life insurance policies for kids are whole life policies that cost more money because they build up a cash value and try to double as investments. By trying to act as both insurance and investments whole life policies in general (not just on kids), tend to be a poor use of your money.
I would be much more concerned about the lack of life insurance on your partner. More important than how you’d pay for his or a child’s funeral is how you’d replace his income. That’s what you really need insurance for. Your partner not wanting to think about death is no excuse for not insuring against what happens if he’s gone. He should really strongly consider at least signing up for that policy through work.
We have policies on all our kids, and my parents had them for us. Mine is actually still active, and is able to be invested and/or cashed out. If the worst happens, I don’t want to be worrying how to pay to bury my child.
My parents have life insurance on me since I was young and I remember seeing the bill one time come mail when I was old enough to understand what it was and thinking to myself “well that’s nice.. I guess they I think I’m going to die sometime soon” and then as I got older into my late teens I understood why because funerals are expensive. Then not long ago I got cancer and I didn’t have life insurance on myself has been suddenly died and we didn’t have life insurance on him and I realize now the importance of it and my parents still pay for that policy to this day.
I can understand some people almost think of it as like bad karma or bad energy to have a life insurance policy on a kid but in the worst case scenario it’s actually very smart.
My dad has opened life insurance policies on all of us kids and his grandkids when we were born. You should ask your husband what he would expect for you and your son to go thru emotionally and financially if something were to happen to him. It’s what prompted my husband to take action when we were trying to get pregnant. I told him that I feared something happening to him because it would mean I would probably loose our house because I wouldn’t be able to earn as much as he does to pay the mortgage payment. I would likely have to move back home with my dad, which I do not ever want to do. And the thought of having to deal with all that while grieving and trying to get our kid thru the grieving process would be a nightmare. He never wants me to feel like I have to be dependent upon someone else to survive, and having life insurance is one thing he can do to help me when he can’t be here. You’re absolutely right that your husband needs to get his head out of the sand. He needs therapy if he can’t get over his childhood trauma because it’s affecting your ability (as well as his) to plan your future together.
I have it on my kids for enough to cover a funeral, b/c if the worst happened, you definitely don’t want to be scrambling to cover those costs while your grieving and in shock.
It’s not weird. In my country this wouldn’t even be called “life insurance” just funeral cost insurance. If the worst would happen and your child dies it’s going to be costly and you are not going to want do do it simple and cost effective because you are heartbroken. I know people who have gotten into debt paying for a child’s funeral. You are just being smart.
Minimal life insurance on the child but your husband 100% needs life insurance. It’s not only lost income it’s also partnership, taking care of the kids, paying the mortgage on one salary.
> but said that I know how he feels about death and all that
I’m not sure how he thinks his issues with death will somehow help stave it, and reality, off?
>kiddo’s only 3. I reminded him that we were JUST looking at bulletproof backpacks for when he starts school
Holy fuck, that’s the most depressing thing I’ve read for a while.
It’s not weird.
What is weird is that your “partner” doesn’t see the financial need to carry life insurance for himself or the members of his beloved family through his employer. Let there be more than one policy on all of you. Kick him in the backside again.
No. Not weird at all. My parents purchased life insurance on me before when I was 3 yrs old. And I’m glad they did it.
I think it’s very reasonable to have the policy. I hope your partner decides to get their own job-provided coverage as well, since losing them would likely be a financial burden to you and your child.
I understand the psychological aversion to the topic. When my parents bring up their will, and their preferences for end-of-life medical decisions, I recoil. But these conversations need to be had, and preparing for dire/sudden situations is generally better than trying to wing it in the moment.
No. In the very least, AD&D in the event of an issue at school. We have AD&D, and a $10k standard policy on our 8yo.
Our 3 yo has a $20k policy. She is also on hospice, and will have a lot more cost with post life preparation….
I also recommend looking at bullet proof inserts rather than a backpack. The inserts come in different strengths, and can be removed when the backpack needs to be replaced. I saw a few that could be worn as vests a few years ago, too.
It’s common. Many parents will open whole life policies for their children for the obvious morbid reason: death benefit. Funerals are crazy expensive and it can allow you two to take time off work to grieve so you’re not rushing back into things the day after the funeral. You think maternity leave is pathetic, wait til you check out bereavement time most companies offer even for immediate family members.
Another reason people buy life policies for their minor children is because they build cash value. It’s not uncommon for parents to then gift the policies to their adult children when they turn 18, graduate college, get married or buy a house, etc. and the adult child can then use the cash value in the policy if they wish, or they’ve just got a nice little policy to protect their loved ones.
Keep in mind – not everyone is insurable, so getting a policy in place while their health is relatively stable is a good idea so they’ve at least got something. Especially if you tack on an option for them to purchase more coverage in the future without health exams.
Also – your partner needs to take advantage of his work policy.
My brother died in a freak accident when he was 12. We were able to bury him because of the life insurance my parents had. I have life insurance on both of my own kids.
It’s not weird, is it one of the ones you can sell?
It’s normal. The amount of life insurance on a child should be enough to cover funeral costs and therapy for the whole family including parents and siblings.
I have life insurance on both of my biological children through my job. My husband has it on our biological children and my step son. It doesn’t expire for as long as we have these jobs. Both of us plan to work here long term, so if something happens to our children-even when they’re adults- it’s there.
My mom got life insurance on me because I attempted unaliving like 3x as a teen. She wouldn’t have been able to pay for a funeral out of pocket. I never thought that was weird. It makes sense.
I think the only reason to have any is if you would need the money to have a funeral for your child. If you can afford that without the insurance I don’t see any reason to have any.
We have insurance on our kids through work. I think it costs like $10 per year, so it’s not much. I think it’s strange your partner wouldn’t want to have a plan to benefit his child in the event of his death, but I know people can be funny about death. Maybe you can take the lead and he will follow during the next enrollment period. It’s usually very easy to get coverage through your employer, but you should also consider an independent policy outside of work that you can lock in at a young age.
For a different perspective, I wouldn’t bother having life insurance on my child because if he died I wouldn’t care about money. I don’t care at all if I were broke and in debt the rest of my life after that. I also wouldn’t care at all about paying for his funeral.
So, if my husband wanted to get life insurance on our child, it would be hard for me to accept his feelings. I wouldn’t understand how he could act like our child dying was something we’d really want to keep living much after. It would be different if we had other children we would still need to support.
Not weird. I have life insurance for myself, my husband, and our 3 year old through my job. If, god forbid, my kid died, I would not be able to work for a very very very long time. Same goes for if something happened to my husband. Better safe than sorry, imo.
ETA life insurance through work is incredibly cheap, so why not? I have $100k plans that cost $5 a month.
I work in the insurance industry. It’s not weird at all.
I think this is a case where “self insuring” is a better idea. Just put the premiums from the health insurance into their 529 and if something happens there’s a nest egg for a funeral. If the significantly more likely scenario of nothing happens then they have a nest egg for college.