You should reflect back their energy on this really. If you’re not sure, congrats are usually the default.
I mean if they come and say something like, “Oh shit. I’m late! My mom is going to kill me!” Then “congratulations” is probably a bad move on your part.
I mean read the room… if they don’t seem excited it may be an unplanned situation and they’re still processing. A coworker of mine just recently found out she was expecting, she did want one and had been trying but they stopped trying for a bit because some stuff came up and they realized they should wait. She took the test at work and when she told us she was all teary eyed so I said “congradudolences” we ended up letting her go home early because she clearly needed some time to process. I think she’s happy now but it can take some time to really set in.
Nah, that’s generally seen as normal. Most of the time that’s a happy occasion lol, but ehh, read the room I guess. If she’s crying while telling you maybe hold off on the congratulations lol.
My response if I do not know the person wanted to have a kid is:
“If you wanted that, I am very glad for you, if not I hope you are okay but feel free to talk if you need to”.
Remember not all pregnancies are wanted.
Most will get that saying “congratulations” is meant well, but be prepared for some who will not like it if that is what you say.
Not to take anything away from the joy and pain of labour, but imagine if you had a really really big poo one day and everyone came round to congratulate you, shake your hand. Maybe smoke a cigar and give you a big slap on the back
As a good rule of thumb, match the energy of the person telling you – if they are enthusiastic and positive, then congratulations would be in order, however if they don’t seem so enthusiastic, perhaps it isn’t as good news to them and worth discussing appropriately.
FWIW, in the Jewish tradition, there’s a saying people use (B’sha’ah Tovah) which roughly translates to “in good hour” instead of saying congratulations (Mazel Tov). It’s used to wish good health and that the baby will arrive at the right time. Us jews are too cautious to say “congratulations” for a process that still has so much room for something to go wrong haha
Only if they’re like, very clearly not happy about it.
Like if someone is unexpectedly pregnant and visibly upset, it would be really rude to say congratulations. But if they’re saying “I’m having a baby” they’re probably happy about it? And if they are congratulations is the most normal thing to say
Most of the time, no. But there’s nuance to this, right? Otherwise you wouldn’t be asking. So let’s talk about it.
If the person is married, well into adulthood, and you knew they wanted kids, and they seem excited, then yes, be psyched for them. If they’re young and unmarried, or maybe they’re married but you knew they weren’t planning on having kids, and they don’t seem obviously enthusiastic, and you’re honestly not sure if they’re excited about the pregnancy or going through with it because “it’s the right thing to do,” a good question to ask is:
“Oh, how are you feeling about that?”
Once they answer, you’ll have an idea as to whether you should be psyched for them or if you should be offering support instead.
That question is honestly good any time someone is going through a life change that may seem ambiguous. Divorce? Maybe they were unhappy for a while and actually happy and relieved to be getting out of it. Laid off? Maybe that job was stressing them out and they’re happy to collect a severance and move on to the next thing. Moving? Yeah, could be a lifestyle upgrade, but they could also be downsizing for economic reasons. I remember feeling weird when my friends would congratulate me when I said I was moving, because they didn’t realize I was moving back with my parents.
No, unless the person has already they did not want this baby and don’t intend to keep it. Saying “congrats” to someone saying they’re having a baby is as normal as saying “congrats” when you know it’s someone’s birthday.
If it’s a situation where I don’t know for certain that they were trying/that they 100% want the pregnancy, I’ll just ask how they’re doing or how they’re feeling.
Pregnancy/getting someone pregnant can come with a whole lot of emotions and not all of them are positive, so congratulations might feel off if it’s not a fully wanted situation
I always ask, in a very nonjudgmental way, if the pregnancy is something they’re happy about. Usually it is, at which point I’ll give a hearty “congratulations.”
I used to work with a guy who impregnated a woman with whom he had a one night stand. When he told me, I asked if this was a “congratulations” or “condolences” situation. He said it was the latter.
I think it depends on how they feel about being pregnant or being a father. Are they happy about it? Then yes, that would be appropriate. Are they stressed and were trapped into this by someone? Then maybe not…
Yes. I don’t want to know that you had sex and let the semen sit inside you, fermenting into a parasite that will eventually destroy your body, forever hinder your life, and obliterate your finances and sleep.
Congratulations, you did the exact same thing every other sexually reproducing species to ever exist does.
You’re not impressive, and I don’t want to hear about your sex life when you next tell me how far along in gestation you are.
When I told my best friend he hedged for a second with “And how do you feel about it”
I said great and he gave massive congratulations then.
If you don’t know them well enough to ask if it’s a good thing, “congratulations” should be the default. You can walk yourself back from a misplaced congrats, it’s real hard to backtrack from “That sucks!” if they are thrilled about it.
Put your hand on the mother-to-be’s stomach uninvited
I’ll buy it from you
HOW IS BABBY FORMED? HOW GIRL GET PRAGENATT
Make a circle with the fingers of one hand, then send a straightened finger on your other hand spiraling toward it while making airplane noises, then make an explosion noise when it hits the target
“Congratulations” is less weird than any of these, so I conclude the answer to OP’s question is “No.”
Comments
No that’s pretty standard
It’s pretty universal.
literally the most normal thing you could possibly say
The couple who tried to have kids. Yes!
Giga-Chad McNoResponsibility, who fucks around and neither should have kids right now, nor wants them – No.
[removed]
Normal.
I usually say “I guess I know what you’ve been up to!”
You should reflect back their energy on this really. If you’re not sure, congrats are usually the default.
I mean if they come and say something like, “Oh shit. I’m late! My mom is going to kill me!” Then “congratulations” is probably a bad move on your part.
Not as weird as, “Sorry to hear that.”
If it was planned, it’s expected
I mean read the room… if they don’t seem excited it may be an unplanned situation and they’re still processing. A coworker of mine just recently found out she was expecting, she did want one and had been trying but they stopped trying for a bit because some stuff came up and they realized they should wait. She took the test at work and when she told us she was all teary eyed so I said “congradudolences” we ended up letting her go home early because she clearly needed some time to process. I think she’s happy now but it can take some time to really set in.
Nope, but telling the father “Good Job” may be weird.
No? Unless they are very clearly not excited about the pregnancy, saying congratulations is the appropriate response
Nah, that’s generally seen as normal. Most of the time that’s a happy occasion lol, but ehh, read the room I guess. If she’s crying while telling you maybe hold off on the congratulations lol.
My response if I do not know the person wanted to have a kid is:
“If you wanted that, I am very glad for you, if not I hope you are okay but feel free to talk if you need to”.
Remember not all pregnancies are wanted.
Most will get that saying “congratulations” is meant well, but be prepared for some who will not like it if that is what you say.
It’s pretty normal to say that.
Dude what?
Not to take anything away from the joy and pain of labour, but imagine if you had a really really big poo one day and everyone came round to congratulate you, shake your hand. Maybe smoke a cigar and give you a big slap on the back
Based on the above comments, it is social convention to congratulate someone on successful conception of another human.
I’ve never say that..Bec idk if the kid was planned or not
Lol, as opposed to what? My condolences?
Probably preferable than “on purpose?”
Usually it’s appropriate. To a rape victim, don’t say that.
“Congratulations” or “whose is it?”, depends heavily on who’s saying that.
Not if they are happy about it. Like why wouldn’t that be worth a congratulations. Shit even an unsuccessful attempt at pregnant is worth it
It is a pretty standard response for most people.
As a good rule of thumb, match the energy of the person telling you – if they are enthusiastic and positive, then congratulations would be in order, however if they don’t seem so enthusiastic, perhaps it isn’t as good news to them and worth discussing appropriately.
Depends on the circumstances
You aren’t congratulating what they did to get pregnant, you’re congratulating them for getting to witness that new life. Not weird at all.
It’s only weird if you shout ‘I’m so sorry’ instead. Learned that one the hard way.
There is no more traditional thing to say. It’s as normal as possible. Any other response is less normal.
I sure hope not. If it is, I’m in a lot of trouble.
Depends,
If its your kid and father doesn’t know about it then weird
Otherwise its cool.
Far superior than saying to someone “I heard you have something growing inside you” like one of my colleagues…
If I know the person well, I say “congratulations… Or sorry to hear that?” and have a bit of a joke about it.
If I don’t know them well, they’re telling me because they’re happy and sharing news, so congratulating them is the right thing to do
I prefer to say “OMG how did that happen??? Tell me all the details!”
Depends on context
No, normal, unless it’s an unwanted surprise.
Better than saying “wow you fucked up”
FWIW, in the Jewish tradition, there’s a saying people use (B’sha’ah Tovah) which roughly translates to “in good hour” instead of saying congratulations (Mazel Tov). It’s used to wish good health and that the baby will arrive at the right time. Us jews are too cautious to say “congratulations” for a process that still has so much room for something to go wrong haha
It’s better to say “I’m sorry”
Only if they’re like, very clearly not happy about it.
Like if someone is unexpectedly pregnant and visibly upset, it would be really rude to say congratulations. But if they’re saying “I’m having a baby” they’re probably happy about it? And if they are congratulations is the most normal thing to say
Most of the time, no. But there’s nuance to this, right? Otherwise you wouldn’t be asking. So let’s talk about it.
If the person is married, well into adulthood, and you knew they wanted kids, and they seem excited, then yes, be psyched for them. If they’re young and unmarried, or maybe they’re married but you knew they weren’t planning on having kids, and they don’t seem obviously enthusiastic, and you’re honestly not sure if they’re excited about the pregnancy or going through with it because “it’s the right thing to do,” a good question to ask is:
“Oh, how are you feeling about that?”
Once they answer, you’ll have an idea as to whether you should be psyched for them or if you should be offering support instead.
That question is honestly good any time someone is going through a life change that may seem ambiguous. Divorce? Maybe they were unhappy for a while and actually happy and relieved to be getting out of it. Laid off? Maybe that job was stressing them out and they’re happy to collect a severance and move on to the next thing. Moving? Yeah, could be a lifestyle upgrade, but they could also be downsizing for economic reasons. I remember feeling weird when my friends would congratulate me when I said I was moving, because they didn’t realize I was moving back with my parents.
I usually offer my condolences on the loss of their sleep
I would think it would be OK, but you have to be careful because some people who come out and say they’re pregnant aren’t thrilled about it
Always, “congrats on the sex!” from me
Shocked voice: How did that happen?
Seems that many people dont know.
Then congrats.
I end up quoting Cristina Yang:”are we happy about this or are we exercising our right to choose?” Then go from there lol
No, unless the person has already they did not want this baby and don’t intend to keep it. Saying “congrats” to someone saying they’re having a baby is as normal as saying “congrats” when you know it’s someone’s birthday.
If it’s a situation where I don’t know for certain that they were trying/that they 100% want the pregnancy, I’ll just ask how they’re doing or how they’re feeling.
Pregnancy/getting someone pregnant can come with a whole lot of emotions and not all of them are positive, so congratulations might feel off if it’s not a fully wanted situation
I say “my condolences,” 😈
Yes I usually say “I’m sorry to hear that” instead.
i don’t do that, but most other people do
No that’s what u should say
I always ask, in a very nonjudgmental way, if the pregnancy is something they’re happy about. Usually it is, at which point I’ll give a hearty “congratulations.”
No
I used to work with a guy who impregnated a woman with whom he had a one night stand. When he told me, I asked if this was a “congratulations” or “condolences” situation. He said it was the latter.
No
In general I say “Is it a good thing or not?” Because it could be embarrassing to say congratulations when the person would like to have an abortion
When they wanted it? No its normal.
When they didnt want it? It does hit different unfortunately.
No that’s the normal response
Only if you rub the guys balls and say good job as well
Yes. Instead ask “And how did that happen? Hmmm??”
Good job for having a nut, congrats
It’s always seem weird to me, but I’ve never been able to come up with something better.
“Good luck” seems more appropriate
I think it depends on how they feel about being pregnant or being a father. Are they happy about it? Then yes, that would be appropriate. Are they stressed and were trapped into this by someone? Then maybe not…
Get off Reddit.
That’s pretty much the only thing you say in this scenario
I feel Fuckers is appropriate amongst friends.
Yes. I don’t want to know that you had sex and let the semen sit inside you, fermenting into a parasite that will eventually destroy your body, forever hinder your life, and obliterate your finances and sleep.
Congratulations, you did the exact same thing every other sexually reproducing species to ever exist does.
You’re not impressive, and I don’t want to hear about your sex life when you next tell me how far along in gestation you are.
Depends. Do they want it, or were they forced to carry the pregnancy because of someone else’s religion?
Would you want to be congratulated for having to give birth to a baby that’s going to suffer for a few days before dying?
It should be considered weird.
Sometimes i ask if it’s a congratulations situation, if I’m not sure how they feel about it.
When I told my best friend he hedged for a second with “And how do you feel about it”
I said great and he gave massive congratulations then.
If you don’t know them well enough to ask if it’s a good thing, “congratulations” should be the default. You can walk yourself back from a misplaced congrats, it’s real hard to backtrack from “That sucks!” if they are thrilled about it.
It’s more polite than “Oh you got jizzed in”
It’s what you’re supposed to say. Unless they’re getting an abortion. a_a
Here’s a list of possible responses:
“Congratulations” is less weird than any of these, so I conclude the answer to OP’s question is “No.”
A human baby?
I said this to a coworker once
lol. What? No. That’s what you’re supposed to say