My parents have always been very poor and laid back in financial planning even though they had ample among jt of opportunities and regardless even now I feel that I should he moving out when I am competent enough ,
I will tell my situation in detail;
Dad: He never took household responsibility especially of cooking even after just sitting at home , he only does menial tasks.
Mom : She is a very strong and financially independent woman and very confident , she is not at all scared of anyone :
- she willfully enables and let’s this behaviour slide .
She is a hygiene freak like she does way extra cleaning beyond normal means and always preparing way too luxsrious meal and all. Even her friends and our relatives tell she is doing too much.
She is very reluctant to change and likes to do thigns by old methods like she won’t do things simply like everyone else does but would go extra mile.
Now as a result:
Bcz of fathers lack of contribution and this over doing attitude of my mon there is a huge workload on her shoulders and she criticizes me for nit helijg enough.
She nags and constantly yaps and keep yapping.
I personally dont have any problem with helping her but this high work expectations from me when I am preparing for an professional exam is tough and I am criticized for even a little outig I do by her. Also nagging makes me avoid her. I would like to help but due to this I at times try to skip it coz her words ruins my whole positive mood.
Apart from this they love me alot. However zi know that if I stay with them I will never be able to progress and they are not going to change.
Bcz if their lack of financial planning and emotional spending decisions they couldnt afford a proper house and we are living in this old rented shit which is unhygienic as fuck.
They had all the opportunities in life and they still do but they are not taking it and more importantly staying with them post I become financially independent will ruin my attitude and have a worse impact in my career.
And no one would like this attitude even if I marry , my wife wont be like it and would hate to stay with them which is correct.
So are these reasons justifiable to me tryign to keep a distance with them when I start earning and draw boundaries , I would love them from distance and willing to send money.
A part of me breaks on how will they manage, but I wont be able to tolerate this genuinely
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It is definitely not your responsibility to take care of them. A “normal” parent’s job is to raise their children to be independent. Not expect their children to take care of them. Feel free to move out on your own. I understand this will be hard to do, and you will probably feel guilty. Just keep reminding yourself they are not your responsibility.
Your parents will have to live with the consequences of their financial decisions. It’s not on you to solve their problems.
Why wouldn’t you move out?
They managed without your help when you were a child, they’ll manage without you again.
What? So hard to read it made me feel dizzy, sorry 😕