So I’m 16 and I’m in high school, and I’m usually the nice guy who doesn’t give a shit.
But yesterday, a girl came up to me, and decided it would be a nice idea to knock the book I was reading(meluha) out of my hands.
I didn’t fight at first, but then she got more and more apprehensive until I said, “listen if you don’t have anything good to Say, why waste your words?”
then she looked all offended and slapped me, and started hitting me, but then, I had enough so I slapped her back.
she fell to the floor, but luckily none of us got suspended as the principal said “both of you hit each other, it’s equal”
but now like most of my friends are saying “not cool man, you can’t hit girls”
I mean like, I was only defending myself, so AITAH?
Comments
I get that she slapped you first, but you should’ve reported it instead of reacting physically. It’s easy to get caught up in the heat of the moment, but hitting anyone, regardless of gender, can lead to problems. Just try to keep your cool next time.
Nta. She fucked around and found out.
ESH
NTA, bta
So this is a random girl? I get she was bugging you, but hitting is never the answer. Walk away next time.
You shouldn’t hit girls. Girls shouldn’t hit you. ESH
ESH. Walk away, if someone’s being an asshole like that. It’s not horrible that you hit her since she hit you first, but just avoid those situations.
NTA, if someone hits you, you have a right to defend yourself, especially if they’re getting more aggressive. If you had fully given her a left hook or something then that would be uncool, but you just slapped her back.
Fuck around, find out.
The “you don’t hit girls/women” thing is wrong. What’s right is that you only hit anyone in self defense or defense of others. In this instance the deciding factor was that she was hitting you. She didn’t hit you once and walk away. It was an ongoing thing and so you hit her back to get her to stop. That’s fine and your principal is an idiot. NTA.
esh. she absolutely should not be hitting you, however… your slap will always be 10 times more harder than hers. it’s part of the reason that there’s a whole unwritten rule about how men shouldn’t hit women. you will typically always be more stronger and the balance isn’t fair. though i do hope something gets done about it because she shouldn’t be hitting you
Don’t hit people. Period. Doesn’t matter if it’s a girl or a boy.
And two wrongs don’t make a right.
Grabbing her hands to stop her from hitting you is defending yourself. Hitting her back is not defending yourself.
She was wrong. Definitely. But that doesn’t mean that hitting her back is right.
ESH
It’s wrong to hit anyone unless they hit you first. Gender doesn’t matter here
I’m all for treating people as they treat you, somebody hits you hit them back harder but do you know what feels even better? Watching the cops handcuff them after you call them for assault. That burns hard and more people should do it
Nope – if somebody opens the doors of escalation, you have the right to walk through it.
NTA it was completely justified.
However as a woman that gets hit by men regularly (boxing). Men can hit harder, a lot harder without even realising it. I also notice that there’s a demographic of woman that cannot take a punch as they are smaller with very little muscle on them. I do spar against the newbies at the gym, oftentimes we get a skinny teenage girl come in and a very light shove when they are prepared for it will get them on the floor.
If you (or anyone) hits/ pushed one of these types of woman hard, they will go down fast. If they hit their head, they can have a very serious life changing injury or die.
So can a man, but men that are new and can’t take a punch are usually still standing afterwards.
So if it ever does happen again, still hit them if they deserve it, but make sure you don’t catch a murder charge.
Sorry, but your friend is wrong. You don’t hit “anyone,” if you are the aggressor.
However, you CAN defend yourself. My boys were taught by their dad that you don’t hit girls. When their little sister came along and thought she could hit them and they “couldn’t” hit her back, I disabused her of that notion at the age of 4 when I made the boys start hitting her back! Too many girls think they can slap boys around and won’t have any consequences for it. IMO she got what she had coming to her and she might think before she starts hitting some guy again.
Kudos to your principal.
NTA. Defend yourself homie.
NTA – if someone hits you you’ve got every right to defend yourself regardless of the gender.
It’s an unwritten rule not to hit a girl as guys are physically stronger than girls. Although she started it first, I think she may have learned a valuable lesson not to behave like this in the future. Learn from your mistake and apologize to her and your friends so that you can move on with no guilt. We all make mistakes.
NTA. Look, you didn’t get in trouble, but neither did she and she was really in the wrong.
I’m going to tell you the same thing I tell my kids: we don’t hit, we use our words and we move away.
You don’t hit anyone, man or woman.
However, anybody hits you, man or woman, you have the right to defend yourself.
NTA. Self defense is okay to a limit, I think too many guys take a few paper bag punches as an opportunity to beat a woman to a pulp.
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Nta. Her vagina doesn’t give her the right to assault you, nor does it protect her from repercussions for her actions. Always defend yourself. Your school should have given her consequences.
NTA and tbh im sick of women that hit first and then get all defensive because we hit back…..if you can dish it out you cam take it aswell. I’d do the exact same thing. Equal rights mean equal fights lol
Eh, I can’t tell. She definitely sucks, and your attitude about it sucks too, but I think it’s a bit ambiguous as to whether youre wrong or not.
Personally, in that situation, you’re better off pushing them away from you rather than striking them. It’s defensive, whereas slapping/punching etc is an offensive move.
No if someone throws a fist they should be prepared for retaliation
NTA. I’ve learned that some females believe it’s okay to hit a guy because they believe they’re untouchable. As long as it’s self defense, you’re good. I had 2 incidents when I had to go hands on with a female in school and both times, the school tried to only punish me until my parents threatened to press charges (this was a little before the whole equal punishment became a thing)
Sometimes you just gotta slap a bitch
Equal rights equal fights
hand of justice is unisex
In high school, my gf started wailing on me. I held my hands up to defend from the barrage. I eventually brushed off her hands and Seinfeld-style shoved her off of me. Then all of a sudden, I’m some kind of wife beater. She started crying and acting like I’d battered her. Double standard for sure. While I always have and still believe that hitting a female is wrong, I also believe in self defense.
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NTA
FAFO. I’d probably let one slide with shock although I can’t guarantee a quick follow slap wouldn’t be coming but if it continues? Hell no, just be reasonable with enough to make it stop.
NTA, but it’s a losing battle there.
Would’ve been different if you clocked her after she hit your book or had those words. NTA – confused on what she thought was funny.
It’s called self defense. NTA.
Commenters here really are in favor of escalating and hitting back. We really need to better understand the situation to know if you hit her to stop her or out of retaliation. If just out of anger, you need to evaluate and figure out how to be better.
Her being a girl matters only in that you limit your hit, and you slapped, which is fair.
You would’ve hurt her more if you just laughed at her when she hit you.
Your principal was wrong.
A man should never hit a girl.
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Nah man. I’ve always said this. Don’t ever touch someone else first, but if you’re attacked, it doesn’t matter who it is, you defend yourself, man or woman or whoever.
I mean don’t beat tf outta a little kid tho 😭. I think that’s understood 😂
NTA. Schools are still doing that zero tolerance bullshit, so even if you didn’t fight back, you still would have gotten in trouble. She instigated it, FAFO.
You really shouldn’t hit a girl because you’re physically built differently and can actually do far more damage than she could. A males bones are denser than a females and males tend to hame more physical power. What you should have done is gone to a teacher and your parents and tell your parents you want to go to the police to file an assault charge against her. She could easily have gone to the police and you would have been screwed. What she did wasn’t right and she’s using being a girl to get away with it.
NTA, but dumb. Hitting a smaller, weaker person, regardless of how much they “deserve” it, is a really easy way to wind up in trouble. Next time shout at her to leave you alone, even slap her hands away or fend her off with your book. Hitting someone is stupid and asking for trouble. Take it from someone who works with dead bodies – a person can be easily killed with a punch or by being knocked down. You don’t want to live with that for the rest of your life.
Not cool dude is right by me, couse I grew up in a place were no guy ever hits a chick regardless of what she’s up to! WALK AWAY find a place out of reach for her eg toilet or somewhere with a lot of people to make her think twice about making a fool of herself. Next time buddy JUST WALK AWAY couse she hitting you is a bee-sting but you can seriously hurt a girl/woman.
Equal rights, and lefts.
It is wrong because you can harm a female dramatically by hitting them. Sometimes you have to something “wrong” to protect yourself. I also feel it’s wrong to shoot someone, but if I was protecting myself it may be “just” but it’s still wrong.
It’s 2025, if someone puts hands on you, drop their ass. Gender be damned. NTa
The appropriate thing to do was hold her arms away from your face so she couldn’t hit you. Hitting her back was wrong. Even at 16, you’re probably a lot stronger than she is. It was not right of her to hit you, and you had a right to make her stop, but listen to your friends. A lot of people online have bad opinions, even adults. “Defending yourself” would be if you got her to stop, not hitting her back. Don’t hit girls, and don’t sink to her level, find a different way.
You’re asking this to a bunch of incels & men who have never interacted with another woman outside of their own mother.
Of course they’re gonna justify your behavior lol. If you dont have the emotional intelligence to understand why you should’ve just walked away then I think you need a big reality check asap. But if you walked away and she chased after you and kept hitting you, fine. Self defense. Go ahead.
But in this situation, you chose to fight someone thats not ur size. You knew she was weaker and smaller. You knew you could beat her up if you wanted to. Walking away should always be the first thing that’s on your mind, not “ima hit this bitch back cuz she slapped me infront of everybody and i gotta show her not to mess with a guy like me😡”
and yes i know ima get a lot of downvotes for this lol idc
NTA. She started it, escalated it, slapped you, and continued to attack you. Your slap shut it down. End of story.
NTA. If a girl is attacking you, you defend yourself. You’ll get these shitty girls saying you can’t do shit back because you’re a man, and hide behind it while being abusive. Fuck that.
My male friends used to ask me to beat up the girls who hit Them, when we were in our teens… They never hit them back as they knew they are way stronger than the girls and they might harm them in a bad way, which could backfire… Though it was just a one time thing… Women used to slap men who teased them inappropriately, though there were very rare slaps given!
But again that’s my generation… This generation has worst parents! They Don’t teach their children (irrespective of gender) how to behave or what compassion is… The girl wouldn’t have done that if she were taught manners, while you wouldn’t hit her back if you were taught how to deal with bullies properly…
When I have children, I’d teach them how to throw a punch without using the hands… Words are powerful! But if it comes to hand-to-hand combats, I suggest:
To never start a fight, but end it…
It depends. You need to react accordingly. If she slapped you, you can slap back but with the same amount of force. If they didn’t hurt you, then you can’t hurt them. It’s wrong only if they slap you lightly and you break their nose.
If the situation happens at school, then ideally, call an adult.
NTA.
NTA obviously you shouldn’t go overboard and you certainly shouldn’t make a habit of it, but I am constantly infuriated by the people who seem to think women get carte blanche to assault you as much as they like without consequence.
She is the one that wanted to make things physical, she is the one that should reap the consequences.
Girl here – she had zero right to touch you or your stuff. Period. The whole “don’t hit girls” rule was made back when women were seen as delicate flowers who needed protection. We’re not. If she wants to act tough and start fights, she can deal with the consequences like anyone else would.
equal rights, and equal lefts!
It’s always wrong to hit people unless you are genuinely in danger. You should walk away.
Assaulted by someone, you can defend yourself, it doesn’t matter who it is, unless it’s a small child.