I don’t want drama. I don’t want constant attention. I just want someone who makes me feel safe, someone I can laugh with, share silence with, and feel understood.
A jasmine kind of love. Simple. Sweet. Soft.
But I feel like today, everyone’s chasing fireworks.
Is there still space for slow-blooming love in this world?
Is it wrong to want a quiet kind of love?
r/Advice
Comments
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No that is pretty normal love and social media makes you think that drama/constant attention are “desirable”.
For every want, there’s two other people who can fill that desire. You’ll find someone who desires the things you desire as well. What you want is wholesome and sweet. Don’t worry about being too much.
I always say the same thing I just want peace and a best friend to fall in love with.
That’s how my boyfriend is. I’m the fireworks chasing one but I’m learning to not need constant attention to feel loved.
Social media destroyed the concept of true love bro but hope you get yours
Listen what do you mean by a quiet kind of love? Tell me like I am two years old or anyone else who knows please help me out here? Is that a typo? I mean is it literally or hypothetically? I don’t understand the question please?
I found it with my husband. So I think it’s out there. ❤️best of luck
Sounds lovely! Seek and you will find❤️
That’s a good goal and you should stick with it.
You’re describing peace. Yeah, I think peace is a top three for most normal people.
Everyone has different needs and wants. There’s nothing wrong with that. I hope you’re able to find what you’re looking for.
No it is not wrong. Yes there is still love like that. I’d like to think I got lucky. I went out of town to visit fam for a week. On my way back, flights were getting delayed and rebooked because of the weather. I ended up getting stuck in multiple airports for 24+ hours. I had to wait 3 more hours after I landed bc my SO was coaching soccer.
He was going to ask his parents if they could pick me up. And I said no, I don’t want to socialize. It was just one of those moments where I remembered what I have in front of me. And all I wanted was some chik fil a and a nice quiet ride back home with my SO.
It’s been 7+ years now. It was a little rocky in the beginning. But life has never felt so sweet, simple, and silly.
There is no woman more beautiful than peace.
What you’re explaining is the good kind. There definitely are still people out here looking for the same as what you’re talking about. It takes the right kind and the right amount of lessons to get to this point you’re referring to. A simple, wholesome, true, and peaceful kind of love and on a much deeper level than the typical.
It is a real thing and it’s out there. I have my doubts sometimes but your post is a reassuring reminder. Thank you.
Not wrong at all. Honestly, what you’re describing sounds really beautiful. That soft, safe kind of love — where you can just be with someone, laugh, share quiet moments, and feel understood — that’s the kind of love that lasts.
I burned the candle at both ends while maintaining a Fortune 500 company position and touring with music. Later divorced surprisingly and kinda went off the deep end.
At 42 I was done. All was good monetarily, but tired of the “fun” and chaos. Somehow I’d walked the line and survived. Cut off all previous ties and focused on work and myself for about a year
Met this one lady who was a quiet soul with certain elements that gave me peace and I felt loved. We married. It’s been quiet and calm for almost a decade now.
Makes me feel a bit old at times but I love all of it, and we have so much while doing so little.
This song by The Eels reminds me of your post, OP:
I like your toothy smile,
It never fails to beguile.
Whichever way the wind is blowing
I like the way this is going.
I like the color of your hair,
I think we make a handsome pair.
I can only see my love growing
I like the way this is going
I like to watch TV with you,
There’s really nothing that I would rather do.
Then maybe we can go to bed,
Get up and do it all again.
I like the way your pants fit,
And how you stand and how you sit,
Whatever seeds that you’re sowing,
I like the way this is going.
I don’t care about the past,
None of it was made to last,
It’s not who you’ve known,
but who you’re knowing;
I like the way this is going.”
…. After 2 long term, dramatic, tumultuous relationships, I did a lot of deeper work in therapy to figure out why I was romantically attracted to chaos. After a year or so, I started dating this mild-mannered, very funny and empathetic guy I’d known for a while who worked at the same company as me. That was in 2017. We don’t fight. Sometimes we misunderstand each other or get frustrated, but it’s always easy to discuss and sort it out without losing respect or love. We don’t have a lot of highs and lows. The pandemic only brought us closer, and showed us how compatible we are in close quarters. We have our shows we watch together. He brings me his daily Far Side cartoon from the desk calendar I got him for Christmas. He made me chocolate cupcakes tonight, so I quietly did his daily chore of scooping the litter box so he could keep playing his video game uninterrupted. We text memes all day. We have inside jokes from tv sitcoms. I love our refrigerator calendar, with all our doc appointments and softball schedules on it. He is my best friend.
He proposed in November, and the above song is our wedding song. It’s a simple, lovely, secure kind of love that I never imagined existed.
Don’t fall for what the movies are selling. The strongest love is the one that never struggles to show up.
Sounds lovely. When your partner is also your best friend.
Let’s certainly hope so. You have a great point and you probably have the best advice for the world to lower the divorce rate and reduce the number of so many relationships failing. Thank you for sharing your thoughts
There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. If it weren’t for social media, that wouldn’t even be a question. The constant battle to one up each other and prove how in love you are with your partner is unhealthy and exhausting.
I’m right there with you.
This is the kind of love that any normal person strives for. I really hope you achieve this goal of yours