Hey all,
Been really feeling lately like there just isn’t anything other than work. I’ve made big strides in my career this year and I’m making more money than ever, but I can’t help but feel like what’s the point of all of this. It’s a hamster wheel that never ends.
Like I get done with my work day, and I’m too tired to do anything else. It’s not like I would do much with the time anyways. I was off for the entire 4th of July week and I was honestly just bored.
As I age into my 30s, and start to look towards a future of potentially house, spouse, and kids, it just seems like I’ll be further into a situation where life is a never ending cycle of work, gym, dinner, sleep, repeat forever.
Is this the reality we face as men? Life is just a hamster wheel of work?
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Yea.
But I also mtn. bike and snowboard so I can feel alive every once and a while. Try and live in the moment with my kid.
I find the more I look at my phone, what you described is my thought process too. If I put it down, life gets better.
Yup, it’s all work.
Wait until you have kids, the workload triples at a minimum.
This is why FIRE exists and why people take major risks in starting businesses.
Working until you’re too physically and emotionally exhausted to live your life outside of the rut you found yourself in is a killer around this age, yeah. Realizing that the only thing I personally had going on in my life was going to to the dead end job I hate was really rough.
Do you have friends and loved ones and people you hang out with? Or hobbies and things you enjoy? The fact that you had a week off in July and didn’t do anything makes me think you need to fill your free time with things you enjoy doing
“works work”
Kind of. Don’t like the wheel? Break it and make something better. Most people will customize their life to fit what works best for them.
Yeah , pretty much
I quit corporate aged 31.
I flew to Australia, got a job on a building site and studied marketing. I then worked with a few agencies, moved to Bali and started my own agency.
I work a lot, but while living in Asia and now Portugal — and I love my work.
We’re looking at moving to Thailand as our long-term home. Life is good.
So yes, life is work.
But work can be great.
It is.
Anyone who says it is not is lying.
I worked hard in the military to make it to retirement and realized around the same time working everyday in the office wasn’t for me.
Some people love it and base their entire identity around it.
Without getting too existential, the point and purpose is ultimately up to you.
Genuine question, what did you do during the week that you took off?
At the end of the day, it’s up to you to break the monotony of life.
Not really… I’ve found ways I added hobbies into my life.
Although some are expensive like owning a sports car and driving it around leisurely, some aren’t.
I play guitar at least an hour a day. Just pick it up, turn on the computer with some chords and jam away.
I’m also playing badminton 3 hours every other weekday and 6-7 hours of badminton on both Saturday and Sunday. I happen to be around people when I play, and I think being around people stimulates me so that I don’t feel tired. I even attend a few parties just to be around people and feel the vibe that everyone is enjoying. It’s definitely the energy of the environment you put yourself in that impacts your mental state.
This is much different from 6 years ago when all I did was work, go home, gym, play computer games and sleep.
Life is what you make of it. Looks like you’re having an existential crisis. Perfectly normal. I know I go through that once in a while and so have many other people whom I’ve known. Everything in life is work to be honest if you look at it from a certain perspective. But that’s not necessarily a bad thing if you enjoy it. Raising a kid is work. Working on a hobby is work. Job is work. If you find joy in what you work on then that’s great. If not, perhaps you need to work on something else
Doesn’t have to be. I may spend most of my time at work, but that’s a means to an end. What keeps me excited is making the most of the time that I’m not there.
We gotta work to live bro. But doesn’t mean you have to have the hamster wheel outlook. I mean, IDK what your job is, but at the end of the day nothing has to be that serious. We are all just living to die so you should have some fun along the way.
I try to find little things, like grabbing an ice cream or treating myself to some snack. I have hobbies and my dumb guy chat where we say dumb immature things.
I like to joke around, try to make people laugh, and give off an air of casual approachability, which I don’t think is a word. When I do need to get serious at work or in life I do. But most of the time I’m just trying to enjoy life.
Welcome to the first day of the rest of your life! Unfortunately.
It entirely up to you.
You can survive and find joy on a moderate income doing something meaningful where work isn’t your entire life.
Or you can work constantly trying to make heaps of money, buy a big house and a nice car. Entirely up to you
It’s important in your 20s to figure out what makes you happy. I got tired of the bar scene and connected with a group of volleyball players. Suddenly we had standing games every Friday night, and sometimes on the weekends. Gave me something to look forward to.
In my forties I started rowing, and now I have something I love and that gives me both physical exercise and a great social circle. Discover what you’re passionate about.
I’m having difficulty accepting it. I actually don’t want to start a family of my own because of this. Feels like being trapped, and adding a family on top of that despite its strengths, will exacerbate that feeling.
I hate this shit, honestly.
I don’t think I’ll ever have a family of my own until I figure out something else soon. Human beings weren’t mean to be cogs in a machine to keep a select group of individuals insanely rich.
Something about hunting and gathering food in a tribe, living in a small world where everyone actually is one unit instead of pretending to be, sounds ironically like fantasy to me.
If you make it all work.
Figure out if more work and more money is really needed for your goals.
Not the goals society seems to say we need, I mean YOUR goals. Too many times we find ourselves working for the former, which leads to a “never enough” me reality.
Focus on the latter and you’ll find you may have no problems saying “no” to the rat race.
I feel having a routine involving friends outside of work is fulfilling. They give you joy and allow you to grow and experience new experiences. Find something outside of work to strive towards. Sounds like you’ve hit your goals work-wise.
took the small business route, and my work is fun but doesn’t give me fulfillment. I’m getting that through progressing myself as a person socially.
You are narrowing your views, this will only hurt you.
You are lucky to have a job with excess income to explore any interest that arises.
Meaning will come from connections with people. Find some.
Yes…. 😭
Yeah . That’s pretty much it. I realized there was no career id be happier with because I hate the concept of working. I feel the same as you. Hampster wheel .
Nah, once you get married and have kids you can work a really stressful day at work and then come home to unwind with meltdowns from your kids and arguments with your spouse. It only gets worse lol
Get some hobbies, date if that’s the next step and build a family etc if that’s what you want.
I’d be bored too if I did the same thing every day.
Life is suffering, work, and misery, except when it is not, until you die.
It feels like it and I’m sure there’s some truth to it. I think the trick is to find something else to look forward to besides work. I’m still trying to figure that out though.
Can ya buy like a triplex to reduce hours/type of work you do? AirBNB, rental, ETFs, cafe for passion project
Searching for meaning and/or fulfillment in life is something people have grappled with for as long we have recorded history.
That’s not to say I have the answers for you, just reminding that this is a common feature of being human.
> start to look towards a future of potentially house, spouse, and kids
I will remind that following the default life script is not a requirement and each one of those things is a choice, not something you have to do. It’s fine if you want them, plenty of people do. But don’t just blindly stumble into them on the premise that “well, guess this is what I’m supposed to do next”.
Life is what you make it. But work is productive. If you want to live better, you typically need to be productive.
If it’s only work, then you’re choosing to only do work.
Not sure about your work hours, but I work 40 hours a week. I still find time to do my hobbies, work on personal projects, gym, hangout with friends, travel, etc.
What do you do weekends?
then your min max problem would be about how to min your work and max your life. i personally aint interested in bringing another life to suffer just because i am bored
got a hobby? i play guitar and old school afps games. maybe you just need something to do out of the work/eat/shit/fuck cycle.
The answer is yes. You spend your primary hours getting ready, going to work, working and coming home. For 40 years.
The out is making enough money to retire early. That’s an admirable goal.
To those saying get a hobby, sure. That doesn’t change the time equation of work.
Work , sex , drugs and mental illnesses
“Is this the reality we face as men? Life is just a hamster wheel of work?”
No, this is a reality YOU face as well as most other men. But there are also plenty of still young men who have plenty of time and money and live in a beautiful environment to enjoy their lives. So there is no WE as you state it. We’re not all the same, not all on one team and not leading the same lives.
I used to make my own surfboards. Surf every week. Snowboard all winter long. Party on the weekends. Play my guitar for hours straight just because I can…
once I hit 29, I seem to only be working. Can’t imagine kids into this mix. However I’m studying for some career exams so I’ve been busy after work. Once my exams are complete I should I have some more time after work and on The Weekends to enjoy myself
It sounds like you’re depressed. It probably doesn’t seem like it to you, but the way you described your situation sounds very similar to how I felt before I was medicated.
I thought I was “bored” but I was actually spacing out, unmotivated and unable to move or figure out what to do. I was tired from work and had no energy to go out and meet people or make plans.
Little things would trigger me to spiral, and when I would spiral I would lose time, just obsessing about something or nothing, unable to pick myself up off the couch or bed.
Maybe this isn’t what you’re experiencing, but it could be, and it might be worth looking into.
If you’re just looking for meaning in your life, figure out what you’re passionate about or what makes you happy and lean into it heavily. For me it’s board games. It’s my obsession, my hobby, and my social life, and it makes me so damn happy.
Two main points of wisdom: Life is what you make of it. Perspective is everything.
I chose to be a teacher for the great quality of life. I don’t have everything but I have the things that are important to me. I have time to spend with my wife and dog. I have a lot of hobbies and I’m happy.
My sister on the other hand works her ass off and has three houses. I’m happy for her and I think she’s happy too. But I see what she deals with and I don’t envy it.
Figure out what you want and do it.
Volunteer. I volunteer with cancer patients two weekends a year. There are a few other evening commitments too, and an afternoon of work once or twice a year. In the grand scheme, it’s zero time. What I have gained:
The best group of friends I could ever ask for
A new career I love
A board membership at another non profit
Love for something greater than myself
Unbelievable networking/ connections
Real purpose
Maybe I will get the family, wife, and black picket fence one day. I’m loving what’s happening right now so much, that I’m not worried about it.
Doesn’t have to be, but you do have to make a plan for the future and actively take steps to reach your goals.
You have to build the life you want to live, one step at a time.
It is not only about finances, it is about health, relationships and what you do with your free time.
I quit working at age 33, my wife works around 20 hours a week. I take care of our young kid while she works.
We travel the world for half the year during autumn/winter. The other half of the year we visit friends and family, go to music festivals, do other fun activities. We are healthy and make that a priority. That means plenty of physical activity, cycle/walk everywhere and doing sports besides that and eating healthy. This is our foundation to have the energy to work on the other ‘pillars’ in our life.
We made ‘sacrifices’ in order to be able to work less, which means spending less money on stuff. Our furniture is second hand, we live in a modest home, we don’t own a car, we very rarely eat out (in our own country), choices like those do add up over time.
We have engineered our lives in a way that is the most satisfying for us, which means less working, more living.
Sounds like you might want something similar. You can start building that life today by making a financial planning and getting rid of all the expenses that aren’t necessary or can be replaced by more affordable choices. Don’t just try to earn more, try to spend less. Look into the FIRE community for advice.
You’re the exact consumer demographic for the next generation of android sex companions.
We basically pay a subscription to a bank or landlord to live in a house. We also pay a subscription to the government so they can keep the streetlights on. We work to afford the subscriptions. If we can’t afford the subscriptions, we are shunned by society.
My man, you can also just choose to work the MINIMUM amount not to get fired, and focus more on your life.
Rather than live to work, what about the mentality of working to live?
Plan out your evenings and weekends like it’s sacred. Don’t burn yourself out at work and the gym so you have more energy for your life. Else you’ll get to 50 and have a mid-life crisis. Enjoy it whilst you can brother ✌️
Make your work fun. I went from ten years as a ski instructor in Aspen to a charter captain/ bartender in key west.
look at earning money outside of work
i know it sounds like soo confusing and a lot to learn, but it really isnt that hard.
you can use AI, to help you flip items/houses/ collectibles etc
jsut type it into chatgpt / upload photos of the product u want to flip
once you get in a good stride, you can do less hours at work and LIVE rather than WORK
hope this helps, more people need to listen
start off with £100 and try to make it into £200
work from there , like an experiment
ebay have removed seller fee’s and facebook market is cash in hand most time.
hope this inspires you.
Hi. This hamster wheel is a common trap.
You set goals, achieve goals, enjoy it a little for a couple of days and set yourself another goal to feel a short-term sense of success.
You cannot enjoy life because of the effect called hedonic adaptation. You simply adapt very quickly to new conditions, both negative and positive. Within the framework of egoistic existence, you are doomed to the hamster wheel.
Try to create for yourself the meaning of serving people and selfless care. This gives long-term satisfaction in life.
If you think having no time for yourself because of work is a thing, just wait until you have kids.
Get off the hamster wheel as soon as you have enough money to travel the world for a year, with an extra year’s worth of dosh to cover rent when you get back. There are all sorts of jobs that don’t have to feel like a constant grind. Taking a year to see the world will help you navigate a new vision for you work/life balance.
It depends on the context of the word “work.” Yeah, it’s just work when it comes to going to work and then coming home to take care of yardwork, your kids, etc. I push back on the notion that life is just “work” in the context of your day job though. I’ve always refused to accept that life is working until we die and continually invest in my family’s future so I can walk away in my early 50s if I want to. But that doesn’t just happen, you have to be committed to it and make choices every day to make it a reality. That way, my life one day is not just work, it’s enjoyment. It’s doing what I want when I want. Every day is a Saturday.
Yes
Unfortunately yes to some degree. The work allows you to have the finances to do other things in life. If I could afford it, I would quit working – hell everyone would do that. But you can’t. I suggest trying new small things every week, find out what things you like and make them your hobby. Anything you do outside of work is living. However, I like my job, I enjoy my day to day adventures. But alas, its really about your outlook on life and your attitude. Gotta embrace the “where ever I am, that’s where the party is at” otherwise it’s just some place you don’t want to be. Good luck!
My guy, you’re living to work not working to live.
Work is a means to actualize an end. Do you have hobbies? Friend group? Girlfriend? Family? Pets? Etc?
If you are just working and going home then I can see how that makes it all seem mundane.
It might sound cliche, but once I started providing more for others and starting my own business it made a drastic change in my thoughts on work. Work is the foundation that allowed me to build the rest up.
No.
I work my 40 and spend the rest of my time with my family or doing hobbies, we go to a lot of concerts and random events around, keeps things interesting when you always have something to look forward to.
Are you in survival mode living paycheck to paycheck? If not you can actually step a bit back from the grind and break the cycle.
Im in my late 30s and realizing now I have enough skills and resume to take months off from working and still find a job.
Lol gym? Sleep? With wife and kids?
Right? Shit sucks. But if you work, and save up some money, you get the chance to actually live life for a few weeks. It’s silly that it has to be that way
Maybe I just have the privilege of a bit more experience on this, not sure.
I could definitely have the same attitude – life is endless work. But since my dad died it all looks different to me. I can’t explain exactly why. But these days I am grateful for every day I am alive. Either at work or with my family. I look at each day as just another day with a certain group of people.
I practice this little mental routine sometimes where I pretend that I have been brought back from the dead, somewhere in the vast universe, for 90 seconds on earth. Just to feel the breeze on my face for a minute. To look out at a sunrise. To smell a bakery down the street.
Good luck man! Anais Nin once said “we dont see the world as it is, we see it as we are”.
Yeah.
Work career wise (pretty much lifelong)
Then work maintaining your health and body (definitely lifelong)
Maintaining your social circle, family relationships, and a romantic relationship? Yep more work, although this is more fulfilling than anything. The pursuit of a romantic relationship along the lines of dating can absolutely feel like a second job.
If you have hobbies or play a sport and are constantly trying to upskill on them, also work. It will be fun but it is work.
Then chores until you fucking die lol def work.
Add on irritating errands you have to upkeep to function in society and yeah it’s a lot.
Humans are souped up worker ants
I used to think like this and crave more all the time. I’ve quit jobs a couple times to go travelling a bit and to go back to university once. All great experiences in their own right and worth pursuing. But recently someone my family know has just had an injury and is paralysed from the waist down… It’s so heartbreaking, all he’s really done in his life is work and send money to his family at home and he was probably close to retiring now he’s 65 and this happened. It’s really switched my perspective on life and made me far more content just getting my head down and working and realising life doesn’t have to be that exciting. I’d still absolutely recommend travelling etc., but I also think seeking a level of contentment for the fortunate situation we’re in can do wonders
I felt that way at 30. I don’t feel that way at 40. I work hard, and have even worked way harder, but also experience changes your career. At a certain point you become an expert /authority and the nature of your work changes somewhat. Late 20s/early 30s are the climber years. Eventually you prove yourself and move onto more senior work. You’ll recognize it when it happens.
Also I have a family now. You have less time but it makes life so much more interesting. I’m sitting on the couch next to my son playing Nintendo while my wife cooks dinner. There’s no where else I’d rather be. I remember the feelings of boringness and pointlessness when I was your age. I get them a lot less now. My life is so much more full. Life will fill up for you too. I coach my son’s teams, go to as many other events/lessons as I can, work out regularly, and try to spend as much time together as I can.
In fact, I make more money than I ever have and am senior in my career, but I think about work a lot less than I did in my younger years. Back when I was trying to “make it”. I’ve made it and know what I can do now.
Life is still boring sometimes, and sometimes work is a grind. But that’s just part of being human and it’s ok. If you’re feeling burnt out, I recommend getting off social media, getting enough sleep, and exercising regularly. That’ll help a lot.
A great deal of being successful is the ability to be persistent and endure toil.
If you ever get a house, wife, and kids, sometimes you will wish it was just work and a little bit of boredom before bed. My life has been a whirlwind of activity and responsibilities for the last 10 years. But yeah, other than that, life is just plain routine until you die, unless you are super wealthy and can afford constant novelty, or you’re an intellectual and study and research is your playground.
Dude, you claim you make all this money. Just retire early and don’t have a family if it causes you this much stress. This is coming from a decamillionaire millennial early retiree.
Well, life is inherently meaningless. Just go out to nature and observe. As humans, we have the ability to assign/find meaning in it. At least we have hard limits(womb to tomb). We get to do as much or as little with the in-between space.
Life’s a bitch and then you die.
Nah. Work is just a conduit to money to do other cool shit.