Was raped twice, once when I was 13, and once at 15-16. Have always had a bad relationship with sex and had a lot of bad interactions (being super drunk, sa’d at clubs) etc. I am 20 now
Is it bad that I like being held down/have more forceful sex? Im always the submissive one in the situation (not sure what word to use). Obviously with a safe word and consent with someone I trust, but sometimes im scared im almost ‘giving into it’ or somehow being insensitive I dont even know how to explain well. Does anyone have insight into this that you think would be helpful?
Comments
This is one of those things where the licensed professional will give you way better info than any of us
No.
It is not unheard of to cope with trauma by replaying a situation where you are in control.
No, it’s not wrong.
It is actually pretty common for people to try and take control of a traumatic experience.
If you’re worried you can always see a therapist.
That said, your fantasy is about sex. As long as you do it in a safe way with everyone involved consenting to it, it’s okay.
Sometime a fantasy about a trauma you had is a way to control what happens and live it in a “good” way.
It doesn’t imply anything about you or what you think.
It’s not a bad thing, you’re okay
this is a really common kink for rape survivors
Nope. You like what you like, no one else can tell you what you should like and not like.
do you by chance read booktok lol
Im a man who was sexually assaulted in my early 20s and several years later my wife and I stumbled into CNC together and we’ve never, ever been closer.
I did feel really guilty at first but she assured me that it’s ok and she like to pretend to cry, struggle etc.
It CAN be a healthy way to let your brain relive some trauma but in a way you can control, regularly.
Please make sure you find a partner willing to be serious about the first word in CnC. Good luck, parts of this kink for me personally is letting go of the shame of my assault and also the shame of being into something so insanely taboo to the rest of society.
Of you fall too deep into the internet side of the kink it doesn’t always help. I’d explore it privately and with a loving partner, if possible.
Don’t forget about aftercare for your sake and the doms; it is pretty wild the post nut clarity that hits after you’ve just done something to your wife that others would spit their drink out over. I say things her that are so vile it gives me shame RIGHT after we’re done. Unless we cuddle and she makes a snack or whatever.
Ugh I’m travelling for work all week and this just made me miss wife so hard lol
Does liking GTA mean you literally want to steal a care and murder a dozen people? To me, liking illegal sexual roleplay is no different from liking any other kind of illegal roleplay
Now I don’t mean to be an arm chair psychologist but I’ve heard that this situation often occurs because it gives you, the survivor, control over the sexual interaction. At any given time you have a safe word (you should at least) that ends the situation.
Because you associate these things together I don’t think its healthy. If they were separate in your mind, it would be fine. I think its damaging to everyone involved to turn it in to something its not and then indulge in that. In my opinion anyway
If it doesn’t bother you, it doesn’t bother me lol
Ok, so everyone just knows what this means?
OP, what is cnc?