I (34F) am experiencing the worst and loneliness time of my life. I don’t have any friends and the only people I talk to on a weekly/daily basis is my significant other (which has its issues within itself as a relationship) and my parents who I can’t stand.
My last friendship was severed because I realized that she was really not a friend. She got mad at me for not taking her to a surgery of which she had other people to take her otherwise I would’ve had no problem taking her. She just wanted to use me for my car and convenience. I had just got the car after having no car for over 6 months due to a car accident that happened last year. Losing that friendship still hurts cause I had known her for a long time and could tell her everything but now I don’t have any friends.
I am stuck between a rock and hard place and I can’t seem to get anywhere in life. I recently lost a job and although I’m glad I don’t work there anymore, like any adult I need the money to survive. I am facing the worst part of my life and I am so afraid that I’ll have to move back home with my parents. My dad is a misogynistic pig and my mom is a tyrant. It took me 10 years after college to finally get away from them. Only to live on my own for 2 years to have to possibly move back is killing me.
For more context. I am the youngest of 2 but I’m treated like the oldest. I am treated like a servant and my dad literally said to me “you don’t have to slave for me anymore” when I was about to move out. I am constantly being told what to do and because I was not successful enough even with my degree this is what I get. The sad part is I have just become subservient because what else can I do? I already stood up for myself and that got me nowhere. When I was in therapy, my therapist then told me maybe I should tell my parents how I felt. Well that did absolutely nothing. One by one I told my mom Dad and brother how they made me feel over the years and they seemed shocked and my mom even remorseful but no behavior has changed. And maybe it’s my fault for believing that if I told them then they may change how they treat me but of course they didnt.
When I had the car accident (which wasn’t my fault which pisses me off so much! I didn’t do anything and it just happened) my whole life was taken away. I was waiting at a stop light and as the light turned green a car crashed into me from behind totalaling my car. I had paid that car off 2 years prior. I barely was making enough to keep me and my partner afloat. Now I don’t have a job and everything is just depressing.
My 20s were bad and I was definitely depressed but my 30s are the F***ing worst!!! It’s probably a combination of the time period we live in among other things but does anyone know when TF does it get better? When am I not gonna feel this bad? I don’t have any friends, I don’t have a job, and I love my significant other but things can be really tough with him too, I hate my parents but I have to deal with them because they are also helping me but it’s not the type of help you want when you get treated so badly. Is there anyone else out there feeling like me or is it just me? Any advice, words of encouragement are welcome and needed.
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No you’re not alone. Currently in a very similar boat to you including the job loss. The only thing i don’t have is a relationship but the ones I did have were fucking awful. I am 40 now and i feel exactly as you do.
I’m in a similar boat. Especially because of Covid, I’ve been slowly becoming less close from my friends and it’s difficult to make new ones. I’m already pretty introverted but it seems to be forced now. All I have are my cats and partner
I am in a similar place. I am so tired of this narrative on reddit if we don’t have friends we must be doing something wrong. We must be choosing the wrong people. Yet I have given so much of myself to people and friends and have been there through their hardest times yet they do the bare minimum. Can’t offer emotional support or even just basic support. It’s I’ll pray for you end of conversation. It’s they are struggling and want support and to to talk yet can’t handle when I am struggling. It’s life changing and people having kids which becomes all about their kids. They can’t go out because they can’t get a baby sitter. It’s people consumed by work who don’t have the energy to do things outside of work. I understand all of this but it sucks. My husband and I have tried for five years in a new state. Nothing worked out. Then I found a few worm friends. Then we moved and none of them stayed in touch even though I tried and kept reaching out. My best friend is long distance and it changed years ago. We have drifted and she is not great at keeping in touch. It’s small talk accept when she is struggling. It feels forced to talk and keep the conversation going. Add time change. Now she is pregnant with her second and has a big move. I get it and I am trying to have grace yet I’m in the hardest season of my life. I feel like I can’t let her in because it’s platitudes and toxic positivity. We have had the hard talk ended in a huge blowout. Things haven’t been the same since. Another long distance friend she is doing better but it’s still platitudes. She is always going through hard stuff and gets caught up on her own pain. She has a hard time not offering advice or just sitting within my struggles. We rarely talk and it’s usually just heavy and not fun.
I long to invite people over. To just laugh and have fun. To have friendships that are reciprocal that we can actually do life together. I have given up for now. Some days I just want someone to talk to to get coffee with. I try to not put everything on my husband and journal instead. He has his own health and mental health struggles. We are both on survival mode and can’t always be the emotional support.
I am pouring into him, myself and my dog right now. I can’t face any more hurt.
It’s hard to make friends but doesn’t mean you are doing anything wrong. It’s hard when life is challenging and you have to go through it alone.
Hope you can find community soon