is my 20F and bf 21M hitting a brick wall?

what am I missing? TL;DR (21F 20M)

So the title of this is misleading, but there’s a few things I wanted to get off my chest and needed advise from people who have no idea who I am lol. There’s a few things here that im going to debunk, so be prepared.

For context, I come from a family which is quite laid back. I still live with my parents but they’re very liberated when it comes to rules and responsibilities. For example, when I was 17 I had my first relationship and my parents were okay with sleep overs, going out, didn’t really have a curfew. My bf however comes from a VERYY different dynamic. So he has a brother who’s older, and lives with his mum and dad. can I just say (and don’t attack me) he is a massive mommas boy. and his mother is quire literally so overbearing towards him its insufferable. she’s not rude to me, and she’s never disrespected me or gotten in the way of me, but she is extremely controlling of my bf and he lets it. For example, we’ve been dating for a year and his mum said she’s ‘not comfortable him spending the night at mine, or us going away because it hasn’t been that long of us dating.’ To me, this is insane. I understand not being comfortable within your own home, but everything else I don’t know. and the issue here is that he doesn’t stick up for me at all. like he just accepts it and says to me ALL THE TIME ‘its her house, its her rules’ or ‘as long as im under her roof, that’s the way it is.’ I just can’t do that. She’s so proud of him and obviously has a stronger bond with him but im so conflicted because I just don’t get why he isn’t establishing boundaries with her. like im not asking for him to argue, but at least stand up for me.

The second issue I have is our intimacy life. My bf has a condition which prevents us from ‘being intimate’ if you catch my drift. It can be fixed, he just needs to see a doctor. He’s known about this for months, and we’ve obviously tried everything but nothing has helped. I have mentioned that it is super important to me and our relationship that he fixes this so we can grow as a couple. He always says ‘I know and I’ll do it’ but he just hasn’t. I asked him at the beginning of this week if he could book in an appointment by the end of the week, and if that was okay. He said ‘yeah okay I’ll do it’ and he hasn’t.

my issue here is that I feel like he’s not compromising at all. I talk to my family about some of these problems and obviously keep hearing that I deserve better and to leave time decide, but I genuinely do not know what to do. If he can’t stick up for me in a year, and he’s a massive mommas boy I cant keep hanging around for someone who I will always be a second priority for.

Our one year is coming up in may, to which he told he had to ‘ask’ his mother for permission to go away for. I told him don’t bother asking. We use to see each other so much and now every time we hang out it just feels odd, and we defiantly don’t see each other as much. He told me he wants this relationship to work and he’s going to try his best, but I don’t know.