Is my (23F) boyfriend (26M) cheating or is this just a series of coincidences?

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TL;DR: I (23F) experienced a series of events that may suggest my boyfriend (26M) is cheating. He has reasonable explanations for them all, but together they all seem off. Am I being paranoid?

Hi everyone. Looking for some advice from an outside perspective. My boyfriend (26M) and I (23F) have been together for a year and a half. We are generally very content together and have a lot in common. We both express interest in wanting a future together and are planning on moving in with each other a month from now. I’m his first serious relationship and I can tell he loves me deeply.

However, a serious of weird, suspicious coincidences have arisen throughout our relationship which were all explainable on their own but seem kinda weird all together.

First, about six months into dating, I found a hair tie in the middle of his living room. It was one of those small rubber ones about the size of a quarter. I had hair ties like that 3-4 years ago but haven’t used one in ages. When I pointed it out he said it must have been from the previous tenant of his apartment, or one of us tracked it in. He didn’t seem nervous or anything, just mildly confused and convinced it was mine. We just chalked it up to being tracked in or swept up from a random corner.

Next, about a year in and arguably the most sus out of everything, I found a used condom on top of all his bathroom trash. Mind you I wasn’t digging for it, it was just right there on top. My heart sank. “Why is there a used condom in your trash?” I asked. He flushed and sheepishly told me that he used it to pleasure himself to try something new and have less clean-up. He said we were talking about condoms the other day (we were) and it made him want to see what it feels like again lol. He didn’t really seem nervous or awkward/overcompensating after that and his instant explanation made it seem pretty believable.

The last incident happened two days ago. I just returned from a two week trip from the airport and my boyfriend picked me up from the airport, flowers in hand. When I got in his car I immediately noticed a black scrunchie on the floor of his passenger seat. “What the fuck is this?” I asked, sort of laughing and holding it up. “That’s not yours?” He answered. I don’t own any black scrunchies. I told him as much and he insisted that he hasn’t had a woman in his car besides his mom in years. Then, he remembered he went to lunch with his friend a couple days before. His friend does have very long hair. I suggested he text his friend and ask him what kind of hair ties he uses. He sent a picture back of a pack of black scrunchies. When my boyfriend asks if he used one recently and if he might have left it in his car his friend responded saying he hasn’t used one in a while but maybe.

My boyfriend swore on everything that he’s not a cheater, would never do that to me, loves me dearly, and wouldn’t do anything to mess that up. He hasn’t given me any reason to believe he’s cheating outside of these incidents. I have his phone password but have never snooped outside of looking over his shoulder and seeing his snapchats and notifications and he doesn’t talk to any women, only his boys and family members. He doesn’t go out to bars and rarely drinks/ has any major vices. He’s never looked through my stuff or accused me of cheating.

I’m just wondering if I’m being naive or if he really is just unlucky and this has simply been a serious of unfortunate coincidences. Does this all sound believable to you guys?

Comments

  1. djseanstyles Avatar

    It probably doesn’t hurt to keep an eye out for something more concrete, but overall I don’t think this is too concerning.