I want to start this off by saying that my boyfriend (21m) and I (22f) are generally very happy, and while we have our ups and downs like any relationship, there’s not a doubt in my mind that he’s not my person.
For our entire relationship (a little over 2 yrs), we have had little disputes over what I keep interpreting as him making fun of me. How it usually goes is I will say or do something, he will start laughing, mimic what I said or did, and laugh again. It usually catches me off guard because whatever I was doing that he chose to mimic and laugh at is usually not something I was doing to be joking, it’s just me existing. I know that I’m a pretty sensitive person so I’ve been actively working on not letting things get to me too bad, so at most I will just look confused or not respond (instead of immediately getting upset) so we can move past it. I assume he can tell it catches me off guard because he will interject with something like “what? I’m not allowed to laugh?” and I will respond with how I don’t understand why he’s laughing at me. I want to reiterate that this is a recurring conversation. These exact events have played out many many times. After I ask him why he’s laughing at me, he gets annoyed and claims that he wasn’t laughing “at” me and that its really annoying that I made that assumption. The most recent time this happened, he said that he feels like he’s not ever allowed to laugh. I’ve tried to talk about it when we’re both calm to explain why it feels like he’s laughing at me, but it never really gets anywhere productive. Does anyone have any insight that might help me understand what’s happening so this little recurring issue can stop happening? I’d love to know if there’s a perspective that I can’t see yet that could explain how he’s not actually making fun of me. Thanks in advance!
TL;DR:
I’m (22f) in a happy relationship with my boyfriend (21m), but we keep having the same recurring issue where he laughs and mimics me, which I interpret as him making fun of me. He insists he’s not laughing at me and gets frustrated when I bring it up. I’ve tried to explain how it feels from my side, but the conversation never gets anywhere. I’m looking for insight or a different perspective that might help resolve this pattern.
Comments
yes, that’s making fun, it’s something you often see in children, right, where they do that kind of thing when they’re making fun of someone. it’s pretty common in schoolyards at recess in like, elementary school and the like.
if it bothers you, tell him and ask him to stop. if he doesn’t stop, then he’s being an asshole.