We have been together for almost 3 years, and this is our first relationship. The first times we had intimacy, he didn’t really get hard, at first I thought he was just nervous, time passed by and this was still an issue, so we thought maybe it was porn addiction, he quit. Nothing improved so we thought it could be from the meds he was taking, which included antidepressants, he’s been a year without meds, since he is so much better, and he still has issues. I am obviously really insecure, because now, he will maintain an erection for longer time, but it’s impossible for me to make him cum, like phisically impossible. This is a huge turn off for me, we have been together for 3 years and not a single time i’ve been able to make him cum. He will insist that he wants me, and he enjoys it, but i’m tired of having sex for 2 hours straight and get nothing out of him. So now, Im never in the mood.
Is there anything I can do for it to be better? Should he get help?
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Fortunately I never had this issue, but I would say you guys should sit down, and talk about it this could be an underlying issue of something else.
Also, I think it would be a great idea to explore more things, or ask him what he would change and want to try it out, this could 100% be a problemsolver.
Also lastly, I understand that you are frustrated about this situation, but you have to accept the fact, that he is not doing it on purpose, and this is a thing that you guys need to solve together, not alone.
Hope this helps <3
Two hours? That truly sounds awful. The pain and soreness you must be experiencing makes me wince. Do you at least have an orgasm? It sounds like this is a “him” problem, one that only he can figure out how to fix. Since that’s not happening, you’d be better off calling it quits. For reasons that a mystery, ur sexually incompatible. Best to move on.
100% he still watches porn. He’s a 20 year old male able to have sex for 2 hours. 100% he’s watching porn.
I don’t think porn is the issue here though.
Maybe he should see a doctor?? 2 hours and nothing he’s gotta have something going on if he can’t actually ejaculate. It sounds so painful. Sorry you both have to go through it
I have some experience here (being the guy in this situation) for me the mental aspect is more of an issue than pornography or the self pleasuring. He may feel uncomfortable or under pressure to preform. I could never finish with a women until the past couple years , what helped was being in the moment and not worrying about how I looked or trying to please my significant other (he may be so focused on you he forgets about enjoying it) He may also feel its gotten to the point where sex is stressful because you may have inadvertently put pressure on him to finish. Who knows, he may be continuing to self pleasure without letting you know (which is what I did in previous relationships). maybe its tmi but I never finished with a girl till i was 21 years old, it can turn around.
He’s just not that into you bro
My now ex also had this issue. I was by no means her first, but she was my first. Anyway she didn’t know how to handle the pickle, even after I tried several times to teach her. It was always either a death grip or she would go really rough on the head thinking a man gets off like a woman. Be gentle, and rub it at a decent speed while maintaining contact with the head. And if you suck it please for the love of God open your mouth open big enough to keep your teeth off of the pickle
So he has an erection sometimes but then it goes away at some point during y’all’s session? How long do they last, when he has them?
I mean if he’s unable to have an orgasm because his erections last a few minutes that’s one thing probably related to performance anxiety and being in his head.
However if he’s able to keep it up 5 or more minutes and he still can’t have an orgasm no matter what you try, then yeah, there’s more to it there and y’all prolly need to go see a professional about this.
Get his testosterone check
Still porn addiction, probably keeping it secret.
I’ve heard of late bloomers just not being able to finish until later in life? Perhaps it’ll change with age but he should maybe see a doctor about it
Maybe wanking has made it so that he needs a constant feeling in exactly the right place, right angle, right speed etc.
Maybe it’s performance based? Could try you wearing a blindfold, or even setting a time limit. Say we’re doing 20mins and that’s it, whether you come or not and say it’s to help you focus and feel better about doing it since it’s not a marathon of effort for no reward, just say you want to just have some close or fast or whatever sex and then he can finish and you can separately.
He might see after a few times that the pressure is off, and it could relax him into it being more in the moment rather than in his head
maybe he’s gay
Ye sb kha ho rha hai aur mai 22 ka ho gya mere sath kyu nhi ho rha ye sb 🥲
Bro has got to see a doctor. This is a serious issue.
This is one of the most common problems for men who actually like women . There is a kind of a self-loathing in many men and a kind of a fear of hurting other people in some men and the idea that they are subjecting a woman to their needs is a pretty common irrational feeling.
Some men deal with that by turning women into “less” in their minds and mistreating them so that they are justified in subjecting them to their needs. Which is lame
On the opposite spectrum, other men get a lot of performance anxiety and that’s what it sounds like this is.
my biggest recommendation for this is eyes closed and in the dark and total silence not as a new way of doing things but just as a practice and then either that time or the next time making it very clear that it doesn’t matter if there’s a result and asking if it’s okay to moan and make those noises or will that be distracting
Put a time limit, this isnt sex it’s practice
If you are seeing improvements then keep practicing and if you aren’t then stop because you will notice improvements after the first couple times or it won’t happen at all
Yes Sexy Time is too much effort for too little result. He needs to be no porn, no hands on (maybe use a key lock cage on his mini me and you are the key holder ), testosterone tested. If condom, then very thin. Else tested for viruses and you take care of birth control. Inspect every prescription, eliminate any illegal drugs. There are rings, vibes, electric patches for him. Everything that embarrasses us upon delivery, but may be fun and useful for him when the lights go down low. You get time off for good behavior after 36 minutes. Buzzer sound: if he is overweight then get active and lose the pounds. If drinks booze or smokes then stop.
Maybe he is gay?
He lied and is still watching porn
He is in denial about his sexuality
He has an underlying medical issue and needs to speak to a doctor immediately