Hi Reddit,
I’m really confused and emotionally drained, and I need an outside perspective. I (24m) have been in a loving, stable, long-distance relationship with my girlfriend (23f) for over a year. Things were good — warm, supportive, connected. We talked about the future, had shared memories, vacations, we got to know each others family, creating beautiful memories — the full picture of a close couple.
A few weeks ago, she began reducing her antidepressant (Sertraline) under medical guidance. Since then, her personality has shifted dramatically. She’s become Detached emotionally, Easily overwhelmed and reactive, Uninterested in closeness and Confused about what she wants
At first, I thought it was stress or just a phase. But then she started deleting or hiding signs of our relationship (changed playlist cover, archived Insta highlights of us), told me she needs a break to “breathe,” and said she feels like she can’t be herself around me anymore. Also, she wanted to spent more time with a good lesbian friend of hers.
When I asked if she was falling out of love, she told me “no,” that I’m the best person she’s been with, that she doesn’t want to break up, and that this isn’t about someone else. She says she’s mentally exhausted and needs a break to feel herself again. But she also gets emotionally overwhelmed, sometimes yelling, laughing or crying out of nowhere.
She told me she felt trapped and controlled by me, because I have doubts about that new friends of hers and because I wanted to feel loved during a hard time in my own life. She proposed a 2-month break, not to date others (she promised that clearly during a emotional breakdown), but to be “on her own.” She says she still loves me, but “can’t do this” and feels like she’s lost. But when I asked if we could agree to basic emotional loyalty during the break — like not dating others — she just said “ok” and avoided the topic again later. Now we agreed to a 3 weeks break until I would’ve seen her again in her home country.
What confuses me most is this:
Did the withdrawal from Sertraline cause this sudden emotional detachment?
Is she really falling out of love — or does it just feel that way to her because of how Sertraline affects emotions?
Does the break really help her or is she emotionally detaching from me?
I’ve read that coming off SSRIs can cause Numbness or emotional blunting, Sudden doubts in relationships, Depression or irritability and Panic and restlessness. This seems to describe her exactly, and I’m terrified she’ll destroy our relationship during a temporary mental fog.
My biggest fear:
She’ll make choices in this confused state (push me away, possibly hook up with someone) and regret it once her mind clears — but by then it’ll be too late. I couldn’t talk to her calmly because she would instantly explode with her emotions and give me the fault for everything. Until now, she always texted me afterwards and told me sorry and that she still loves me. Basically, she’s giving me completely mixed signals, but I don’t want to leave her due to love and because I think that would be unfair.
I know I can’t control her choices. But I also feel helpless, like I’m being pushed out of something we built over nothing. And I don’t know whether to hope… or to let go now and avoid a deeper heartbreak.
TL;DR; : My girlfriend reduces her antidepressants and wants a break for a few weeks to clear her mind and fix everything. Is that her real intention or does she detached from me even more?.