Is not being attracted to your partner after a baby normal ?

r/

I feel terrible as shes a great mum and we get on really well .
I know its really shallow and i keep beating myself up about it that it shouldn’t be an issue.
Does this go away ?

Comments

  1. AutoModerator Avatar

    Thank you u/Thin_Bet_4066 for posting on r/AskParents. All post titles must be in the form of a question.

    Posts that do not conform to the subreddit rules are subject to removal at the discretion of a moderator.

    Remember to read the rules and report rule breaking posts.

    I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

  2. dssx Avatar

    You’re both sleep deprived and her body has gone through changes. Focus on how amazing it is you’ve made a child together and the love you’re building. If all you can see if her body that has gone through the wringer, you should probably check yourself.

  3. tehc0w Avatar

    You should get checked out for depression. It’s not “normal” but not “uncommon”. Personal experience. It does go away if you work on it

  4. ProtozoaPatriot Avatar

    Some men struggle with It Try to figure out what’s changed. It can be fixed, if you put in the effort.

    For example

    • Fear it can result in another pregnancy, even if she’s on birth control.

    • Unrealistic ideas about beauty or about how their wife should be versus seeing childbirth or normal changes of her body. Porn use can make this worse.

    • Some men stop asking for sex when their wife turns them down too often. But it’s normal for a women not to be able to get aroused when overwhelmed by a new baby. If she’s breast feeding can shut down the hormones.

    • Could be Post Partum Depression. Some men get it https://health.clevelandclinic.org/yes-postpartum-depression-in-men-is-very-real

    • Could be a side effect of being a little too used to porn when sex wasn’t possible. Try stopping all porn for awhile. If you masturbate, that’s fine. But no porn for a month.

  5. MEOWConfidence Avatar

    My husband looses interest in me when I’m pregnant, yes I am offended, but he assured me it’s not me but him so I deal with it, we decided to be together for the long haul regardless of issues, anyway, he gets back to normal after a few months. Sometimes the mental and emotional shift can take a toll on your sexuality and it’s not “attractiveness” but sometimes men struggle to understand they also get turned on emotionally and not just physically. I hyper focus on baby and pregnancy anyway so we have dubbed it his natural way of allowing me space to mom, as I’m a very hands on, no sharing kind of mom.

  6. TyndalesTerrarium Avatar

    Hate to break it to ya bud but parenting is all disgusting monkey shit. Watching your wife return to her base animal behaviors is enough to kill attraction for good. Breastfeeding, diapers, etc is all extremely gross and monkey-ish. Truth is the game was rigged from the start and now the curtain has been pulled back, and you see the disgusting reality of biological existence. It’s better to not reproduce at all. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news but having children is an absolutely disgusting and foul experience that you’ll have to deal with for the rest of your life. It’s over

  7. SlammingMomma Avatar

    She might not be attracted to you that much either. Giving birth is seriously life changing. Have an honest conversation with her. If it’s about her looks, I suggest you keep that to yourself. Because you won’t find a woman that will look like the day you met her. Some look worse. Some look better. Some get cancer and have no hair. Some get in car accidents and can’t walk.

    Be happy with what you have. Sometimes those things are better than what you find elsewhere. Sometimes what’s on the other side is worse. Take it from me. I reached out for help and was abused more than I was before. Not everyone is a good person.

  8. No-Row5677 Avatar

    From a purely neuroscientific perspective, yes. If we look at sociological disposition of society, also yes.

    And no. It’s not shallow. Aight?

    Just know there’s a child who holds more of the future than the world you do. I’m not suggesting traditional parenting is optimal—especially if you can’t ensure proper fatherhood.

    Every decision you make counts. And imma tell you the 1 thing that matters. The child’s perception of their will.