It’s not that I hate myself; it’s just that I don’t like anything about myself, no matter what. Not in a hateful way, I just feel dull about myself. I’m not in a rough situation, nor am I depressed, so this is just how I am normally. I just fell like every part of me has flaws and that I just don’t feel like I have a single part of me I’m okay with having.
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I mean I’m similar but I like my hair and my height.
Most things I would be happy with improving or having better luck with.
I’ve always been the same way. Doesn’t matter how fit or out of shape I am. It’s not really anything in particular and I dont really think of flaws, it’s just I think I’m a weird looking awkward person.
Compliments make me feel uncomfortable because of it. Probably something that should be addressed in therapy, but meh. Not a big deal to me really.
Its not normal in a way thats important. People being insecure and not liking certain features about themselfs is normal but you should try to accept them and posibly look for the good they can give you.
Being lukewarm or even indifferent can be a sign of depression or atleast a depressive period in your life.
Unfortunately, yes. Humans have been saddled with the ego, which seems to have a default setting of mean and critical. Our inner dialogues mostly beat us up.
And we are all flawed, sweetie. Every last one of us. However, in my long life, I’ve never met anyone who didn’t have some gift or ability.
The good news is you can conquer those feelings. Stoicism and hypnosis are the tools that worked best for me.
The Daily Stoic, by Ryan Holiday- is my current favorite book, which has a daily lesson to ponder, much like a daily prayer or affirmation practice.
Holiday also has a daily email you can sign up for, even if you don’t buy the book, and there’s plenty of other free info online.
But the tool that I’ve found to be most helpful in creating positive change is hypnosis. It’s an efficient shortcut to leverage neuroplasticity, the brain’s remarkable ability to rewire itself.
There’s a free app called Hypnosis with Joseph Clough, packed with sessions. The app also provides a paid version with additional options.
For optimal results, aim to listen to at least one session daily for 2-3 weeks, although most people experience noticeable improvements sooner.
If you want to like yourself more…It helps to start small and to start with kindness when talking and thinking about others. If you catch yourself thinking someone is ugly, fat, lazy, or some other negative stop yourself and say “NO. They …” then insert 3 things that are nice about them. If you can’t think of something, give a reason they might be doing the thing you didn’t like and say they have a family that loves them and you hope they have a nice day.
For example some girl is doing her makeup on the train and for some reason that ticks you off and you think bad things say NO. She’s probably in a rush for work and she’s putting in the effort to look nice despite that. I hope she has a nice day.
Before you know it you won’t be stopping yourself anymore. It will take about a week of conscious effort which is nothing considering you’re rewiring your brain. Then a month or two later you’ll wonder why you’re happier. And then you’ll realise your inner voice is nicer to you as well. You won’t be saying you’re a mess for doing your make up on the train you’ll say it’s okay me, I’m doing my best.
It can also help to keep a gratitude journal. Write 3 things you’re grateful for about yourself each night. You can start small. I’m grateful I woke up. I’m glad my body got a good rest. I’m happy my hair is nice today. Don’t make it backhanded like saying I’m happy my hair isn’t a mess/doesn’t have a cowlick today, focus on the GOOD part without bringing up the bad part. When you bring up the bad parts your focus shifts to them. After doing sentences for a while it should be pretty natural to bridge into short paragraphs. If you can write more than a paragraph you can list only one thing. This also rewires your brain for focusing on the positives.
When you’re speaking to yourself with kindness and compassion, and focusing on the positives you might notice little things you like. For example the other day I noticed the skin on my elbow looked really nice and that put me in a good mood for the whole week ha ha. It sounds so stupid. I’ve lived in this body my whole life and never liked anything about it yet here I am appreciating my elbow. And my hair and eyes. And my frame. It’s a slow burn but this helps a lot.
It also helps a boatload to get rid of assholes. So people who talk negative about you or others get rid of them. Life is too short to let people bring you down. You are the sum of the 5 people you’re closest to so keep good friends who can help you build yourself up into who you want to be just by being a supportive environment :D.
No
Depression can be anger turned inward. I would look up ‘perfectly hidden depression’ just in case. Forget ‘is this normal?’, self acceptance is an individual thing.