I’ve heard things like my body may be breaking down but mentally I’m still young. I’m definitely inspired to still be a good place mentally when I’m old. People have told me its about staying active not just physically but socially. Sounds like if you isolate, don’t have hobbies, or friends that you rapidly go down hill faster. Just want some insight because I find this intriguing.
Comments
I’m pretty introverted and don’t have a large social circle…..but that works for me. I prefer my immediate family or solitude.
For me, keeping my mind active also involves keeping my body active…. I love photography and combine it with long hikes. I have a greenhouse filled with tropical plants and a garden in summer. This requires a lot of movement.
I do belong to a number of clubs that have monthly meeting. I go, but generally stay quiet.
Everyone needs to find their own way I think……. but sitting on your ass staring at screens is easy and addictive, but also counter to keeping your mind and body moving forward….find what works for you!
I say there is a difference.
My mom was “old” at 50. She acted old. She talked like she was old.
I’m 62, and although I have some physical pain and limitations, I still get on the floor to play with my grandkids.
I think letting yourself get old is part physical, but mostly psychological. My mom just gave up by the time she was 60. I have always joked I’d be the great grandma going on the roller coasters. Probably unlikely LOL, but I have the mental attitude to stay “young.” I’m not going to sit around waiting for the grim reaper. That bastard is going to have to catch me.
Getting old is a numerical value that you simply can’t change. We’re all gonna wrinkle and get frail, sure. But allowing yourself to get old is dependent on what you’re doing in your youth. If you’re working out, eating healthy, minimizing sun damage, working on a healthy social life then you’re just getting old but you’re not letting yourself get old. If you worked a sedentary job and spent your evenings just eating pizza and cheeseburgers on the couch then you’re allowing yourself to get old because you’re not doing anything that’ll benefit you in old age.
My parents & inlaws are the same age-79. It’s interesting to see how different they are.
My mother in law has mobility issues due to not really being active most of her life then getting a knee replacement 20 years ago then breaking her femur and choosing to never go to PT to help move the healing process along so now she’s wheelchair bound.
My father in law used to walk all the time but since my mother in law broke her femur 8 years ago he now sits in his layzboy next to my mother in law and they just sit all day and watch tv and nap throughout the day. My mother in law says she’s just waiting to die and sometimes she doesn’t even know what day it is because “they all blend together” she says. They definitely isolate themselves and find excuses not to do things.
My parents are active. My mom cleans the house regularly, food shops, runs errands, makes dinner almost every night, exercises, goes out occasionally to dinner with my dad and they meet up with friends of theirs. My mom tells me that even though she’s retired and not as busy as she once was she’s amazed at how the time flies by each day.
My dad stays active working on the lawn and in the garage and does little jobs with my brother at his business. They have some aches and pains but can recover and push through. They have such a positive outlook on life.
My husband & I say that my parents are like teenagers compared to his parents.
Keep moving, ride a bike, go for a hike, lift weights, join a yoga class, stay positive, laugh a lot, and be with people who give you good feelings about yourself and you’ll never get old.
I’m 65 so in some circles I’m old. People say if you stop moving you will stop moving. I ride bicycle (and trainer), I hike, fly fish, Alpine and Nordic ski. Staying active keeps your body functioning and improves your sense of wellbeing and health.
What do you mean by “old”? What specifically are you talking about?
What are you doing right now for your mental health? Have you read up on aging? Watched the Blue Zones documentary? Consume any content by and about older people?
Some mental stuff is out of people’s control – I suggest also working on acceptance of sometimes you do your best and things still happen that are not your fault (eg people I know who are arguably or were arguably healthier than me who haven’t fared as well). Life is complicated and people are different (eg people I know who have a lot of community but that community is running them ragged)
When you stop growing, learning, evolving, and exploring, you allow yourself not only to get old but also to be left behind.
Sometimes you get old from health challenges
I stay active in the community. Member of the American Legion, Vietnam Veterans of America, Disabled American Veterans and attend the meetings regularly.
Been a mentor for the county veterans court for the last ten years.
When I retired I got an advantage plan which included a “Silver Sneakers” membership. Participating gym is right sown the street and I use it three days a week.
Wife is on hospice so that has a taken a toll on me for the last year. She was not that healthy for a few years before then but as least she could get out of the house and do things.
Spent three months traveling through eight states just playing tourist. Towed a 21 foot travel trailer and no where to be so we did as we wanted.
At the stage where my mind says “You can do that;” while my body says “Think again old man.”
To me, being in constant pain is what makes you old. I had a flare-up of general inflammation at age 75. Every joint hurt, could barely get out of the chair. I felt like 100 years old.
I did not take this lying down! I started eating on the anti-inflammation diet and stick to it strictly every day. At 81 I feel great, do not feel old. Still can hike for miles. I know not everything is under our control, but changing my diet took 20 years off how I felt– I actually feel better than I did in my 60s.
YES YES YES!! I’m 84 and I am obsessed with the quality of my life and have been since I was 60. It’s about balance. I exercise daily. I do weight training and indoor cycling. During the week I watch my diet, but on weekends I get completely wasted. I do shots and beers and love pizza. I am widowed but have a partner now. Unfortunately all my friends are dead and that an be lonely. I could go live in a retirement community and have lots of friends but I choose to live in aa high rise in the center of the city. Everyone who lives here is young and I like the feeling. I an also walk everywhere. I’m as happy as can be. I also still travel and enjoy dangerous places. Recently went to Port Au Prince (don’t go). a and took chicken busses across the entire country of Colombia
No matter what you do, the body slowly but surely deteriorates and becomes harder to live with. Aches and pains take hold and don’t go away. The eyes get weak. The hearing loses its range. Joints creak.
Of course it is better to stay fit and be social but even so, we are definitely not built to last.
I agree with the people who tell you it’s about staying active physically and socially. My parents are very active… daily fitness routine, cooking, involved in theatre, and volunteering. My MIL, on the other hand, spends all day watching tv or reading the news on her iPad. She doesn’t exercise at all or eat healthy and she is the one who constantly has medical issues and has shown signs of mental decline. They are all the same age, 81.
I see it as a matter of curiosity. Mentally old people aren’t interested in learning new things. They think they can’t learn a new language, for example. They would rather believe what they want to believe than actually check sources to confirm. It never occurs to them to wonder about that place or event they’ve never heard of, or even that new weed in the back yard.
Even in poor health, one can have new experiences, even if only virtually. One can still take free or low-cost classes online. A young mind says, “Well, if I can’t have my first choice, at least I can have second best, so I’ll make the most of it!” An old mind grumps off to pout and take some sort of perverse pride in refusing to learn new things.
A person can have what I consider an old, unimaginative mind at any age.
This is just my opinion, of course.
Taking care of yourself, physically, spiritually, emotionally and mentally become CRUCIAL as you get older. A friend of mine’s dad was like you say. His wife was his social life, but when she died, he isolated. He was dead within 2 years, and in a nursing home within 6 months. He had no friends. Didn’t bother going outside even to just sit on his porch before going to the nursing home. And he was in his early 70s.
Keeping your mind active is all about learning new things, not endlessly repeating what you already know. Such as I’m learning Spanish right now, as a way to keep my mind active.
Physically active doesn’t have to be crazy. Morning stretches, using light weights to help your bone density, and walking outdoors every day. Sunlight also really helps with mood. The point is to keep your body moving.
Emotionally, it is crucial to at least have a network of close friends. Relying on a partner alone is very risky. Therapy can still be useful because we all have issues, no matter our age.
Drinking enough water is also essential. And regular checkups with your doctor, to catch problems before they get serious.
Having lived in NYC (Manhattan) for 25 years, it’s shocking to me as to how many women I meet who are my age but look 20 years older (especially from the U.S.). Just because you’re 50+, doesn’t mean you have to let everything go – hair, nails, body, clothing – Mom jeans. I think they just give up and don’t care. And of course… they’re in shock when I tell them I’m the same age or older!!
Yes, letting yourself get old is recognizing it yet not doing anything to counter balance it.
You know you’re stiff and you choose not to do yoga. You know your heart and lungs get winded easily and you choose not to do cardio. You know you’re overweight and you don’t change your eating habits. You see your skin starting to age and you don’t buy good face creams, sunscreens or protect it. Then there’s all the activities that are known to age you faster like smoking, drinking, and drugs. That is letting yourself get old.
And then there’s natural aging which happens along the way of doing healthy lifestyle things.
When I was growing up and attending church, we had a contingent of “church ladies.” They were friends mom’s, of course, but we considered them old. Imagine our surprise when we aged and find that those “church ladies” were only in their 50’s. My friends and I have come to the conclusion that they acted old and we do not. They were always telling people what to do (inside and outside church) and we don’t. They were always dressed dowdy. We absolutely don’t. They really did clutch the proverbial pearls and we don’t. Ultimately though, they are a product of their generation as are we.
I think some people stop learning, reading, and keeping up on social and cultural changes. That makes them seem old. I am 70 and newer to Reddit. My millennial son laughs at my qustions/bafflement at changes I don’t get and says I seem like a sociology professor trying to understand a strange group of people! I am strange too.
I agree. I have seen several friends retire, do nothing, and then fade and die.
No, there is no difference other than grammar.
(Contrary to all this “you’re as old as you feel” garbage, which is highly offensive to anyone whose health or circumstances have limited them as they age.)
You are precisely as old as your birth certificate. You always have been. This is not negotiable through Botox, pickleball or a perky attitude.
However: how ill, mobile, fit, healthy, resourceful, happy, connected you are varies widely. And these factors are what is critical to thriving as we age.
We need to stop equating the word “Old” with infirmity and decline… and stop denying it, too.
Sometimes the body just gives out … My wife was always in better shape than me. Then she got cancer. I’m still a huge fat ass and she is gone. Can’t really explain that.
We don’t have a choice about aging, but we don’t have to get old. Stay active, be engaged, keep learning and you won’t get old.
This is a conundrum that I am experiencing now. 73 and due to physical difficulties like 3 major back surguries I can’t be as active as I was 3 years ago. What is when you can’t take active preventative measures to stave off being a burden on someone
We don’t stop acting young when we grow old, we grow old when we stop acting young
Stretching, exercise, eating well and good sleep helps control the controllable