Is there any coming back in a relationship (engagement) where he is no longer sexually attracted to me? Advice needed please.

My fiancé (27M) and I (35F) have been together a little over 3 years. He proposed in February, complete surprise, I was not expecting it at all. We are currently long-distance for the last 2 years, but see each other often- I visit him once a month for 7-10 days at a time, and then he spends the whole summer every summer in my state (June-August).

 

Trying to make a long story short, in the beginning of our relationship, I told him porn was a firm boundary for me. He told me he understood and had no issue with that because he “rarely ever jerked off/watched porn anyways”. I was dumb enough to believe him. A few months after we became LD I happened to find that he had been watching porn daily. Now it has been a consistent argument throughout our relationship. He says it’s controlling and a “red flag”, I tell him it’s simply an incompatibility and means we are incompatible. He will then give in and say he’ll cut it down to once a week, that of course never happens, I find out, we have the same fight all over again. I’ve asked him repeatedly why content (nudes/videos) of me or us isn’t sufficient, he never has an answer, and so on. In the beginning of the relationship he was seemingly incredibly attracted to me. He is the one that pursued me, hard, for months before I finally gave in to mutual feelings. Repeatedly told me he had never been so attracted to another woman in his life, after about 6 months into the relationship we started having sex daily when we were together, sometimes even twice a day. I have never once turned him down for sex. I am very, very giving in the bedroom and do whatever he likes (and I enjoy it – I’m talking 2+ hour head, anything he wants – and I am very enthusiastic about it). My biggest thing with the porn is yeah sure it’s an insecurity and my idea of monogamy clearly differs from his, but it hugely negatively impacts our sex life. When he is jerking off to porn every day, and I get there to visit him after not seeing him for a month, I can tell he’s been watching porn daily because he is not enthusiastic about sex at all, difficult to get him/keep him hard, very lazy and less reciprocal, it’s like he’s having sex with me out of obligation. I have communicated how important our intimacy is so, so many times. Before him I never enjoyed sex, had never even had an orgasm (that wasn’t by myself) before him, and it’s just a very important part of our connection. It’s a night/day difference when he’s watching porn daily vs when he’s not. Our intimacy and connection is amazing when he’s not watching porn daily. I’ve communicated so many times to him that this isn’t about controlling him, but that I’ve had this boundary for every relationship and never once has it been an issue until him, even though I offer as much content (nudes/videos) of myself/us as he wants.

 

So he’s here for the summer, has been here for 7 weeks, and we’ve had sex 3 times. And all 3 times it’s like he’s being forced to. Barely interested, barely reciprocal, very clearly not excited to be having sex, wants it done quickly, etc. The fact that it’s clear he would much rather have porn over our intimacy, the only reason is because he is clearly no longer sexually attracted to me. I can’t fathom the shoe being flipped and the love of my life telling me that me cumming to other people daily is negatively impacting our intimacy/sex and not immediately making a change. There is no other answer than porn is more important to him than our intimacy/sex life, and he is no longer attracted to me. I’ve communicated this several times, in several different ways, I’ve offered counseling/help for porn addiction (which of course offends him), I’ve tried to be understanding, I’ve tried to make compromises like porn once a week which is already incredibly against my boundaries. I’m just not willing to continue this. He’s choosing over & over his selfish wants over the health of the relationship, and it’s very clearly he’s no longer sexually attracted to me.

 

I assume there is no coming back from this, correct? It’s not like I’ve changed my looks or gained a bunch of weight or something. If anything I’ve lost weight in the 3.5 years we’ve been together. I’ve probably lost 20 lbs since we got together. I look young for my age, I have a great body for my age/being a mom, I’m an objectively attractive girl, I have men constantly approaching me/in my DM’s.. it’s not like I’m ugly. Far from. I am the more attractive of the two of us. But I am wildly attracted him, and it’s clear that that’s no longer reciprocated.

 

There is no coming back from this, right? Like there just is no fixing this, correct?
 

TLDR; I (35F) have been in a 3.5-year relationship with my 27M fiancé, now long-distance, with a firm boundary against porn that he has repeatedly broken. I’ve tried communicating, compromising, and even offering support for potential porn addiction, but his continued daily porn use has severely negatively impacted our sex life. We used to have sex daily, but it has been diminishing over time, now we have been together the last 7 weeks and have had sex 3 times. He shows little interest or arousal when we have sex together, despite my enthusiasm and effort. I feel deeply rejected, no longer desired, and suspect he’s simply not sexually attracted to me anymore, even though I’m confident in my appearance and sexual openness. I think I’ve reached a breaking point, questioning if there’s any way back from this or if the relationship is irreparably damaged because men just simply don’t find themselves re-attracted to their gf/wife after years. I know that if bring it up, he will tell me “of course he’s attracted to me, I’m crazy, it’s ok for him to not want to have sex all the time”, he will not be honest with me.