Pls delete if not allowed. (posted in another sr)
TW?
I, 26F is dating my 28M porn sick bf of over 2 years. He was a virgin before he met me. I, on the other hand, had a plethora of sexual experiences/encounters before him. He had falsely claimed on multiple occasions he had quit porn, only for me to snoop and find he hasn’t. He still “claims” that he quit a little over couple months ago, but his sensitivity hasn’t changed one bit. He could hump me for hours and… Nothing. I don’t get my fourth of July fireworks – and never have.
His compulsive masturbation led to him getting a form of ED where he absolutely cannot come from penetration/oral – no matter how long we go at it.
I tried EVERYTHING. Anal. Giving him the option to cum inside of me. Handjobs. Toys on both me and him. Spontaneous sex. Day sex. Night sex. Losing hella weight (he’s partially the cause of me becoming skinny). He had both fat and skinny me. Nothing.
It’s taken a huge toll on my sexual self esteem and I only realized that after my guy friend inquired about my feelings toward it.
Before I was 2000% confident in my skills. I’ve made men cum in 20-30 seconds in the past. Whimper in sheer ecstasy. Now? My libido has taken a sharp nosedive. The thought of a man ejaculating to me or pumping to climax is what ultimately motivates me to have sex. So a quickie? Forget about it.
It’s fucked up but I only have sex w him mostly* now to prove my love/physical attraction to him. It’s a weekly chore I feel obligated to.
I’m starting to become so jaded by the thought of sex with him by the ED, to the point I’ve passively and unintentionally began to entertain the thought(s) of looking outside my relationship. I know I’m fucking wrong. Rip me to shreds down below if you may. I’ve beating myself up for it many of times.
Anyway, I’m seeking words of encouragement or advice to get him to completely stop. Is there light at the end of this godforsaken tunnel? TIA.
tldr; pornsick bf w ED do not want to stop masturbating, lied about quitting more than i can count, and it is taking a hefty but hidden toll in our relationship.
Comments
I’m gonna be honest, sounds hopeless to me. Seems like if you two were gonna find some solution to this you would’ve by now. But this has always been a problem and likely always will be a problem. It’s not your job to fix him. He’s gotta figure his own shit out at this point. You tried your best to help, I applaud your effort. But if I were in your shoes I’d accept it as a lost cause. You really wanna be a in a (virtually) sexless relationship indefinitely? Too young for all that
That being said, this isn’t on you. None of it has anything to do with your looks or skills or any of that. His problem is not your fault.
He should seek some counseling. If he refuses, I’d say it’s hopeless. It appears to be a significant problem and you don’t want to waste the rest of your life only having chore sex. You’re young, end this one and go find someone who cares about your pleasure and experience.