I’m 18f I just turned 18 and this guy I met is amazing. He’s super sweet and funny and we wanna go out and I feel like we’ve connected well but he just turned 22 a few months ago. Is this a bad age gap?
We’re not dating or anything but he asked me out. At first when he realized I was still a senior in high school he said he was unsure but I told him I didn’t care about the age gap bc to me it doesn’t matter. He told me he felt a little off about it but then I told him why it wasn’t a big deal and then he decided he was fine with it because I’m an adult.
I agreed to go out already, but what do you think? I’m asking this because I’ve heard mixed opinions on this.
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Someone who is old enough to drink should not be dating a high schooler.
Here’s the thing. A 4 year age gap is not a big deal. BUT, the issue is you just turned 18 and are still in high school. It’s not a big deal if you were 25 and he’s 29 or even 21 and 25.
Also it’s about life stages until you reach 25. You’re still in the teenage years and he’s in beginning adulthood so your experiences are a world apart. That’s where it becomes a bit uncomfortable for people when they hear your age difference.
My suggestion is to keep things mild until at least you graduate. Don’t make decisions about your future with him in mind. If you want to go to college on the other side of the world, don’t let him get in the way. You’ve got many important decisions coming up and he should not get in the way of that.
Four years is fine.
ehhh it’s not horrible but it’s a bit fishy and i personally wouldn’t
I know dating an older guy seems intoxicating but everyone is right that’s it’s not the age difference but the ages. You’re just 18 and he’s 22. That’s not good.
Would you date a 13 yo? Icky right? Well this isn’t that icky but it’s still icky.
It is creepy for someone to ask someone out when they are still in highschool when they just met the high schooler.
You two are in different life stages.
Nothing good can come of this as it is unlikely he would be your life partner.
Hell no, he’s just 22.
its okay imo. my husband and i met at 18 and 22
What do your actual parents think about this? Do they know that you’re going to be going out with a 22 year-old while you’re still in high school? Technically, it’s not illegal now that you’re 18 but you guys are at different stages of life.. you’re in high school and he’s probably getting ready to graduate college.
Too much. I’m a firm believer of no more than two years until the youngest hits 25 or 26.
Proceed, but with caution OP. You’ve got a lot of big decisions ahead of you and having someone who’s already cast their lot for the next while could hold you back.
If dating him at all I’d keep it super casual. And let’s be real, at your age sex is going to be a major part of y’all’s relationship/situationship, so get some sort of birth control and use condoms. Neither of you need a baby at this age. Everyone’s right about being in different stages of life. Even though you are legally an adult, your peers are in high school and still children. His peers are in college and probably have at least a couple of years experience navigating adulthood. You have after school clubs and prom. He has jury duty and overtime this weekend. You’re worlds apart.
An 18F dating a 22M isn’t automatically a bad age gap—it really depends more on life stages and maturity than just numbers. A four-year difference, especially once both people are over 18, is pretty common and often considered acceptable. However, what gives some people pause in this situation is that 18 is often the very beginning of adulthood, while 22 can feel like a very different stage—college might be done, jobs might be starting, and adult responsibilities might already be stacking up. That gap in life experience, not just age, is where concerns tend to arise.
It’s actually a good thing that the guy in question hesitated when he found out you were still a senior in high school. It shows that he’s at least aware of the potential imbalance and was trying to be cautious. The fact that you reassured him and explained why you were comfortable matters—but so does the fact that he was willing to pause and consider. That said, it’s important to make sure he’s not just agreeing because you’re eager; he should genuinely feel comfortable and respectful of where you’re at in life too.
What matters most is how the relationship develops. Are you both communicating openly? Do you feel respected and emotionally safe? Are you being treated as an equal partner and not just someone impressed by someone older? If the answers are yes, then going on a date isn’t a bad idea—it can help you both better understand each other’s intentions and compatibility. Just remember: it’s okay to enjoy the connection, but it’s also okay to walk away if anything feels off or rushed.
At the end of the day, every relationship has its unique dynamics. This one might work beautifully—or you might realize you’re in different places. Either outcome is valid, and the fact that you’re thinking critically about it already shows a lot of maturity.
The problem with age gaps isn’t the age, it is about lived experience and power balance. What matters here is how did you meet? What’s he doing with his life? Is he still a student? Does he still live at home? Do you? I don’t think 18 and 22 is a huge deal, usually both ages are still students, either still living at home or recently moved out to college, minimum job experience.
Compared to say, 15 and 19, where one is fresh out of middle school and the other one is starting college, going to parties, likely getting drunk.
And if you go further up, like 22 and 26, then the 4 years matter a lot less. So it’s not about the number of years between you, it’s about whether you are in the same stage of life and can grow together.
i have an 18 year age gap with my partner lol, he’s my soulmate and i love him! so no, to me this is not a big deal at all
No it’s not a bad age gap, of you like him go for it