Is this a good idea

r/

My bf (26 male) im (23 female)of 3 years wants to have joint accounts. We live together and we both pay bills.

He mainly wants to use that account for investments.

I don’t feel comfortable having a joint account if its not with my husband.

Is it a good idea to have a joint account with a boyfriend or is it something i should wait to be married for..

Comments

  1. PartyRare7499 Avatar

    I would wait, to me there is no real benefit to doing the joint account

  2. JustKind2 Avatar

    Tell him you want to learn to invest (buy SPY) or save so you will open your own account and invest too but separately.

    If you don’t have a Roth IRA open one at Fidelity Investments and start investing by buying SPY. The people on the phone at Fidelity are very helpful.

    If you want to also save or invest, open a brokerage account at Fidelity and save in something that will give you 4 percent but also invest some of your money in the stock market by buying SPY.

    Dont just hand it over to your boyfriend and have him do all the learning with your money. You deserve to learn about this too.

  3. FrostyMarmotVortex Avatar

    Feeling uncomfortable about it is totally valid. A joint account when not yet married carries with it some ramifications that is usually a headache. There’s a lot to think and consider about. You better explain it to your boyfriend and have a thorough talk about it. He may have good intentions but you got to protect yourselves if things won’t work out between the two of you.

  4. Interesting_City_654 Avatar

    I wouldn’t suggest it.

  5. SailorVenus23 Avatar

    Don’t do it. Keep your money as your own.

  6. cutiepie827 Avatar

    Nahh u guys are not married and no child to support
    The joint account will probably make that as extra money for him in case he missed up smthng

  7. chensium Avatar

    Very bad idea. Definitely not for unmarried couples. Almost no legal protections.

    And never blindly let family or spouse handle your “investments”. Cuz when the sh#* hits the fan, and it almost always does, you don’t want that extra complication creating resentment.

  8. Pitiful_Soup1522 Avatar

    I’d wait until you’re engaged or married . My fiancé and I were together for two years before we got engaged- we bought a house and have two dogs(one that he had before we met). But anyway there was never any reason for us to have a joint account until now since we’re paying for a wedding and getting married so we’d have a joint account anyway. I don’t think it’s a good idea personally but you know your relationship best.

  9. mmmck2 Avatar

    Don’t do it unless you keep your own and open a joint account just for household and such.

  10. EconomicsWorking6508 Avatar

    It could help you to go to r/waiting_to_wed and ask over there. Or just read some of the past discussions around living together with a boyfriend.  

  11. Particular_Bad8025 Avatar

    Never ever mix money until you’re married. If you want to invest, it’s great and it’s easy. You both open your own brokerage account and put your own money into your account. Do not mix!!!

  12. Inside_Team9399 Avatar

    No, there’s no benefit to having a joint account.

    If he wanted to use it for paying bills, that might be OK, but really isn’t needed in the modern world.

    He says wants to us it for “investments”, which is a bad sign. He wants to use your money for investing, but why does he need your money for that. You should be very wary of this. Most people his age have no idea what they are doing and will lose everything.

    If you want to get into safer investing, that’s very easy for you to do and doesn’t require any kind of joint account with him.

    Just tell him no.

  13. Bardamu1932 Avatar

    So, he wants to speculate with your money. Tell him you’ll manage your own money.

  14. Boring_Cat1628 Avatar

    No. Absolutely do not do this.

  15. Sea_Cup_5510 Avatar

    Yeah just wait. Too early for such a thing

  16. Zestyclose-War-2696 Avatar

    If you’re not comfortable with it that should be a good indicator how you feel on the subject. But one piece of advice given to me was to always keep your account. Don’t keep it secret but it’s always better to be able to have complete access to your own money. A good idea could be a joint account on-top of each of your own that can be used for bills and ect.. that you both fill up

  17. Excellent-Piece8168 Avatar

    A solid suggestion is continuing to have separate accounts and also a joint account for joint spending. Marriage has next to nothing to do with anything. One can get all the legal protections with or without. Marriage is no more sign of commitment in modern times than many other things. Getting a dog, having a his is arguably more commitment than some ceremonial thing and both are harder to deal with for a split up than a marriage.

    More importantly is communication and agreement on how money is saved, invested and spent. Conversations around all this is the key. What account all that is in is basically irrelevant.

  18. BoobySlap_0506 Avatar

    I don’t even have a joint account with my husband; I wouldn’t get one with someone you aren’t even married to. 

  19. Brilliant-Onion2129 Avatar

    Get a joint account get married the next day! Before the joint account you should be in agreement on your financial goals and have a conversation before anybody makes a purchase over “X” amount. (Ours is $100) No more personal accounts.

  20. Walmar202 Avatar

    Lots of danger here. He wants to have access to YOUR money so HE can invest it. Big red flag. You should continue having separate accounts. You can easily split your costs of living with separate accounts.

    I have seen too many instances of such linkups bringing ruin to both of them. He may or may not be a good investor. Many are not. It’s like gambling. If it was a sure thing, everybody would be doing it and making loads of money.

    Nope. Nope. Nope.

  21. Yellowcup508 Avatar

    The best general awnser to the question of “is this a good idea in almost 99% of the times is NO

    if you are askign the question of is it a good idea it is because within your core and true self you think it is a bad idea on some level

    it means that it is NOT a hell yes

    Make it into a NO

    Choose NO

    No is a complete answer and a full sentence

    If you Give a NO

    NO

    without anythign else any peoples faces contort and they lash out…

    thats the universe telinng you and showing you something

    and you can always change a no into a yes

    GOOD LUCK on change this particular yes into a no

    For this reasons if was me?

    NO

    that is the awnser

  22. Alycion Avatar

    Waiting is ideal. But if you want to open a joint account for investments that you both have a say in and contribute a certain amount to, do not do it with writing up something that will stand up in court. Plenty of sites online to help with writing legal documents. Get it notarized. Both have a copy.

    It will lay out how much is contributed by both, that decisions must be made together and documented, and how it will be split in case of a break up.

    If you are truly thinking marriage is the way to go and you don’t have more than the normal issues, with the right documents, a shared account without all of your money in it can work. But again, ideally, you should both be saving or investing on your own so if it doesn’t work out it is an easier split. If it does, then you can combine. Whoever was most successful should lead the future investments, but not take over. You always should agree.

    The only reason me and my now husband combined accounts was bc it made paying bills easier. Neither of us had much. I had my savings in a joint account with my mom out of state. It was being saved towards a down payment on the house. Most gift money went into that account. He never had access to that account, even after we got married. But the money was put towards the first house.

    I get his idea, but it’s risky. You probably both are at least getting financially stable, if not already there. And investing can be a gamble.

  23. mattyjAU Avatar

    What difference does it make if you’re married or not?