Is this a good idea? Something seems off, not sure what to do

r/

I’m 17, my sister is 14, and we live in Maryland. My sister told me this for advice, and she said if I don’t know a solution, I can ask others for guidance.

The context is my sister started taking substances about a year ago, and because she was addicted, she had to undergo an IOP program until her drug tests came back clear. When they did, she’d start seeing an actual therapist, but until then, she’s been speaking to a placeholder for the therapist, we’ll call her Davis. Not an actual therapist but someone who’s supposed to be a listening ear. 

Since my sister was on multiple drugs, she wasn’t in a place to communicate with someone without being a danger to herself or them. That said, my sister has repeatedly told me that Davis’ advice is horrible, it doesn’t help at all. She’s quick to take my mom’s side instead of helping my sister, her actual client. You’ll see what I mean when I explain the details. My mom found Davis for my sister, and my sister wants to choose her own therapist but isn’t sure how to. It looks like Davis will be the one to choose her therapist. 

My sister went into Davis’ office, and sat down, the appointment went as usual, they talked about her recovery and then she did another drug test. The last 30 minutes into the appointment she just couldn’t hold it in anymore and had to tell Davis my situation to give her a better understanding of what was going on.

She told her I need emotional support and that this cat would give me therapeutic help. And help me feel less isolated. Davis then goes to have this lengthy talk about how mom needs therapy, she probably has OCD by how much she likes to keep things clean, she has issues, if she doesn’t like it then don’t bring it in.

At that point my sister is tearing up, because Davis’ point is making no sense to her. According to my sister, Mom simply not liking cats doesn’t mean she has to suffer in silence just to meet her standards. Davis sees this and says, “what if you just start going back to school?” She responds by saying in person surroundings distract me and lower my grades, in my two times of online school there were dramatic differences. She went from all E’s (the lowest grade) to a 3.0 GPA after starting online school. 

Then, Davis starts agreeing, with my sister’s points. “Yeah, your cat won’t affect her in any way, so she has no reason to go against it” she tells her she’s 100% sure my drug test will come back negative, when it does, she can close my case. In the meantime, she will look for therapists in our area for my sister. She also said since the cat is an important issue for my sister, she can schedule a temporary appointment with her, sister, and mom with one of the therapists in her building to talk to my mom about this support animal.

I completely agree that my mom needs therapy, I’d go as far to say she needs it the most out of the whole family, but this seems weird. Sidelining my sister in order to give mom therapy smells really fishy, especially since my sister is your patient, NOT my mom. 

What do you all think, is this meeting a good or bad idea? If it’s a bad idea, how can my sister prevent it? How can my sister find her own therapist?

Comments

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  2. Ornery_Pudding_8480 Avatar

    I don’t know if my advice will help you and since you only posted a few minutes ago you will have other more knowledgeable people give you advice. I found a therapist through my general physician they gave me a list of therapy people and places to go. You can go online and Google therapists in your area. You sound so stressed out and I know you’re stressed about your sister and your mom. I’m sending you internet love I do hope someone responds that has more information than me.