I (35F) and husband (37M) been together 15 years married 12years have a child (1F). My MIL(60F) has been making comments that our child looks like BIL (40M). She says they are twins but me and my husband do not see it. BIL is making a huge deal to see our child.
For context he has 3 kids (13f, 10m, 5f,) has basically no relationship with them. Hates having to be around them none in his custody. My husband has nothing to do with him since before our relationship. I had a huge fight with him haven’t spoken in 10 years. So that he wants to see my kid so bad is weird I think. MIL is also distant from my husband and baby’s is brother. She raises his kids for his and pays all his bills and he does no wrong.
Is it weird he wants to be around our child so much when he is not close to his own kids? Is it odd MIL pushes so hard to have him included? Is it just me being odd and this is how families are normally?
TL;DR MIL keeps saying daughter looks like BIL and pushing he be included. Is this normal family stuff or is it weird?
Comments
It’s very weird. Nobody wants him around for a reason so don’t let him be around your kid.
Super duper weird. If I were your husband I’d tell her that’s gross to say
My husband feels like its very weird but I don’t have a close family of siblings so I don’t really KKK now how siblings work
This family dynamic is dysfunctional.
He doesn’t have any custody of his own kids? Is addiction in play here?
I think you and your husband need to set her straight that it’s not happening and she needs to not push it.
it’s not unusual for a baby to look like their uncle, especially because babies don’t look like much at all (they haven’t had time) it sounds like your MIL is trying to get her boys to reconcile.
this sounds toxic and I personally would not play along.
It’s not an unheard of dynamic.
MIL may truly see BIL in your baby. Have you seen his baby photos?
And it seems normal for BIL to want to see this baby who is supposedly the spitting image of him. Wouldn’t you be curious too?
You do not need to have any relationship with him at all. Just ignore. If your husband has chosen to be low contact with them, stay that way.
In my family the male DNA is so strong that my first cousins on my dad’s side are all carbon copies of my grandfather. That being said I think your MIL is fishing and using this as a weird way to try and emesh your BIL into your life. Your husband is going to have to be the one to shut it down and be like, yeah it’s cos she looks like me. End of discussion.