Need frank advice
My partner is my best friend. We have been together for almost 10 years. Our car is in her name. Our savings are in her HYSA. I have student loan debt, she doesn’t. We have two dogs. We live near her family and mine are 2000 miles away.
She is currently pursuing her PhD. I applied for phd programs (twice for programs that I wanted, once for programs she thought would lead to opportunities). I didn’t get into any of them. Partly because I had to bartend to pay rent and didn’t have enough time with the applications, another because I was dealing with some depression about my prospects.
My partner is amazing and brilliant. But I haven’t been sexually attracted to her in years and lately she’s been calling me a failure for not putting us in a position to financially succeed.
Sometimes I think everyone would be better off without me. I don’t really have a particular question, I just need space to
talk about what’s happening
Tl;dr: no longer attracted to my fiancé, but my whole life is connected to her (as in would be financially ruined. I also love her but can’t be the person she needs me to be).
Comments
Sheesh, that is a rough situation to be in, and I do empathize, OP.
I think you need to understand that what she said is not correct. It is not a failure on you that you did not get where you needed. Sure, did you miss stuff? Yes, but getting those applications does not guarantee you would have gotten in. You deserve more credit than what she is giving you. You are a person that had to drag their ass to a job they probably didn’t want to do to pay for rent, like most of us do now.
The really tough part is… this is probably it for that relationship unless you somehow reignite that spark.
Edit: sorry had a typo