I (26f) thought I was gonna marry him (33m). Last Jan he came back from his home country, one month after getting me a promise ring and said he doesn’t see a future with me because he wants to move back.
We tried to make it work for one year, mostly because I was delusional and could not bear the thought of life without him. But he changed into a completely different person- think the worst kind of avoidant partner: no communication, no intimacy and extreme defensiveness and just wanting to leave.
We broke up four months ago but he kept coming back saying he missed me, but if I tried to reconcile he would say a big NO. I finally blocked him for good last week.
I just feel awful. I wanted it to be him. I wanted him to be better and to be the person he pretended to be in the first year. I miss him and our moments so much. I just wanted to have his kids and for it to work out between us.
I’m trying to heal. Trying to move forward and delve head first into my goals and dreams. But damn do I wish he had stayed because I loved that man with my entire soul.
I’m terrified the next person I meet will be the same.