She still hates me. It’s getting a little better, but I can still tell.
I genuinely don’t give a shit that she doesn’t like me, I care that it impacts my boyfriend in a very negative way.
We are in college, and he is at his parents house for the summer. His mother starts an argument over me ATLEAST 2x a week, and it causes him so much anxiety.
She thinks I have 0 direction in life, that I’m lazy, and that I will only drag him down. She told him that I will be a financial drain, that I will make him pay for my HRT “if” we move in together (we are, next year, in the summer).
She calls me lazy to him, but I am the one working a full time job year-round. She says I’m directionless. I took a gap year to save money for college.
She KNOWS I’m doing a 4 year health science degree. She KNOWS that after this degree, I’m applying to Med school, then specializing in OB/GYN.
She still asks him “How’s tradeschool going for [my name]”.
Like girl……I know you’re not stupid.
My partner has started therapy, and is learning boundary setting skills she never taught him, and it drives her NUTS.
She despises me because I turned him “gay” (we are bi), she despises me because I’m “confusing him” (I am trans), she despises me because our “relationship is built on lies” (he lied to her about being with me because he was scared of retaliation. We started dating in highschool, and she tried to split us up multiple times).
I’m just so tired. Bf and I are so happy and she hates it.
I’m so over this. If she would put aside the “trans bad and evil and is stealing my son away” for like 5 minutes, we would get along really well. We have a lot in common when it comes to TV shows.
She has been getting better, but I’m just exhausted at this point. I hope her anger subsides. I think that underneath the vitriol, is a woman who’s scared of losing her son. I can understand that. She’s human, and I think she has quite a few redeeming qualities. But I can also think that good intentioned people can create harmful outcomes. She thinks she’s doing what’s best for BF, and I know she loves him. She just doesn’t recognize that she is pushing him away with her tactics.
She loves her son, and she’s (I’ll be it slowly) learning to tolerate that I am a human being that breathes.
My boyfriend has done a tremendous job in fielding most of the stuff she’s been saying, he keeps me in the loop because he knows I like to know what’s going on so I can support him/defend myself appropriately.
I’m just tired, man. I just want to hold my boyfriend and not feel his entire body tense up whenever he gets a phone notification. I want him to not be crippled with anxiety over what his mom will say. I don’t want him to live in fear of her.
We love eachother deeply, and we have grown and changed alongside one another for a long time. I know that he’s putting in the work, I can see the results. I know that he’s still got a long way to go, but I am so proud of him for how far he’s come.
I have this dream that one day we all can just, exist. She doesn’t have to like me, I don’t care if she does. I just want her to let him and I exist.
If she grows to like me? Even better. I’d love to have another friend.
But at this point, who knows.
I’m tired and I wish I could just fast forward to when we have our own place. I haven’t seen him much this week since our work schedules are mismatched rn (he got a full time summer job, he saves a ton over the summer and does part time when he’s at school, he saved up alot when we were in highschool to do this).
We love and support and care for eachother, and that’s all that matters.