TLDR; If you’ve asked me how I felt about tomorrow a year ago I would have answered with so much joy but now I’m dreading the hours going by. Lately I have been breaking out due to a side-effect of a medication I’m taking and combined with the extra 5 kgs I’ve gained over thr past year, I can’t help but feel ugly.
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I (21F) am usually an optimistic person and when I did gain the 5kgs, I brushed it off because it still put my BMI on normal. I didnt think make much of it–but as some of us know a normal BMI is an Asian Obese.
Two months ago I went to visit my relatives abroad and my weight gain was all they could talk about. Honest to god, I could not go one day without hearing “you’ve really let yourself go” or “you’re much faster now, huh”, however the comment that almost made me feral was from my uncle who said I looked so much like my mother because of my “big face”, and saying that about my mother, HIS SISTER, despite being overweight himself is crazy and hypocritical. She doesn’t deserve a brother like that.
Over the next few months I have been working on my weight eating better and exercising more often because although the comments hurt, I still aimed to do better, and i managed to lose 3kgs. Skip a month forward to earlier today where one of my aunts greeted me with “you’re so fat now I didn’t recognise you”, so I guess it was all for nothing, huh.
As I mentioned my face is also breaking out in very visible acne from my medicine where I gain two additional active pimples every night for the past week. There’s so many that I can’t even hide them with makeup regardless of my skillset. I just wanted to look nice on my graduation day but now it feels like I’m cursed and I wish the universe would stop testing me for character improvement–not this bitch. And now my relative, one which called me fat everyday, flew all the way here to attend my graduation so I cannot turn then down from attending despite how much I want to. T_T
Grad is now less than 24 hours away and I can’t even be happy because of all this penting up sadness. Please tell me your grad stories to make me feel better and sorry for the yapping T_T
Comments
Big hugs to you. I’m so sorry the people in your life aren’t being supportive. You’ve smashed through university and that determination and hard work is an exceptionally beautiful thing, far more so than any physical attributes. This internet stranger is proud of you and I hope you hold your head high and celebrate proudly tomorrow. You rock!!!
For a happy graduation story: a friend in my research group had a bad rock climbing fall in the April before graduation and broke his back. He had to spend 6 weeks in hospital flat on his back. The uni allowed him to miss finals and took his grades on average from across third and fourth year. Fast forward to graduation day: When his name was called and he walked slowly to the dais, the hall erupted into cheers as for most it was the first time they’d seen him walk since his accident. I still smile at the memory.
Congratulations on making it to graduation. You’ve put in a lot of work to get there.
Calling someone fat is such a fucked up way of showing “care”. Ef that noise bc that’s all it is. Weight fluctuates throughout life and it’s simply rude to point someone’s physicality out. Hold strong, be proud of yourself as you walk the stage tomorrow. Your body got you through school and it’ll keep carrying you forth. Take care!