Human beings evolved the ability to get angry at others for a reason, and etiquette and manners were created for a reason, too. If someone is rude to somebody else, it’s not the other person’s fault for getting offended. Being angry at other people is a normal part of life.I don’t get why so many people act like it’s a character flaw to get angry at people who go out of their way to be offensive.
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Good luck with that.
…..umm there is an appropriate amount of anger and then there is an inappropriate amount of anger. When someone says you are thin skinned it is because you demonstrate an exceptional vulnerability to being insulted. It is more effective on you than it should be and your responses are frequently disproportionate.
In that context you are worse than someone who can take a minor insult on the chin and just keep trucking.
I’m fine with being angry or upset at someone being a jerk but way too many will start talking trash and then get upset when it gets flipped back on themselves. Almost always the first person to start talking is the one to get offended and make it a big deal.
It’s okay to react but if you learn how to not get angry or offended it will save yourself a lot of stress
The issue comes in when you are a pain in the ass about non controversial stuff.
For example: if I say at the work potluck that I am jealous t eating anything from Janice’s house because she is disgusting and she hears that and reports me to HR, that is a legit complaint.
But if I say : I don’t eat anything from anyone’s house I haven’t been to and you take offense to that as me calling you disgusting (which isn’t what I said) and report me to HR, that is being thin skinned.
There is an appropriate amount of response to a joke, insult, or criticism in any given situation and if your response is disproportionate to that and you get all hurt and insulted over minor things, they you are a problem and therefore, worse.
…_than_ other people doesn’t make you better _than_ them.
Ok THANK YOU!!
Edit: Learned in my 20s how to be thicker-skinned anyway. The world isn’t “nice” (some places/people clearly nicer than others). It really paid off …. BUT I still agree with you, that people should strive to be polite instead of rude.
ETA2: However, you can then end up with something like The South, where they are “very polite” but really just catty/petty/behind-your-back-ish. Is that really preferable to The Northeast, where they are “very rude” but just actually real all the time? I’ve evolved to actually prefer The Northeast. Still, I think there could be a better balance, in both places. You don’t have to all-out-diatribe someone you disagree with. You can still give the same honest feedback, more politely, as if you were going to see the same person again in life (because you might do!). If I could choose, I would prefer The Midwest on this entire approach, which I see as more like The Northeast but with a small-town vibe where relationships with people (even people who aren’t close friends) actually DO matter. Of course I am overgeneralizing regions here, but yea, food for thought OP
As long as what’s being said warrants offense… and this is the issue that bar has been lowered to the point of ridiculous to the point where the phrase offensive no longer has an gravity. Racist, liberal and fascist are fast heading the same direction over-misused to the point of eroding their actually meaning and gravity
So getting offended is one thing… making a career out of it is another.
Sure, but if I’m walking through the woods I’d rather be wearing denim jeans than cotton sweat pants
Your paragraph is not really describing someone who is thin-skinned, though. If the offense is legitimate and someone had malicious intent, that is just being “normal-skinned.”
Thin-skinned usually refers to someone who gets offended at everything, even when there was no malicious intent. A thick-skinned person obviously doesn’t let much of anything bother them, malicious or not. I don’t think being thick-skinned makes a person better than someone else (“better” is a pretty usless adjective when describing people anyway)…but it is pretty hard to argue for any cons against being thick-skinned, which is not true of the others. That kinda makes it the “better” approach.
I’m easily offended by silly grammatical mistakes.
We live in a time where intelligent people are being silenced so that stupid people won’t be offended.
Announcing “I’m offended” is basically telling the world you can’t control your own emotions, so everyone else should do it for you.
Better is subjective. But it sure makes life a lot more tolerable than going from out outrage to another being contently apoplectic.
Anger, fear, aggression, the dark side of the force are they.
but in pure gamer terms: level +3 armor is worse than level +10 armor.
It sounds like you don’t fully understand what the term thin skinned means.
Nah, quick to anger and get hurt is a weakness.
The assumption here is that a person getting offended is due to a fault or wrongdoing of another person. There could have been no rudeness or breach of etiquette, and the person chose to take offense. Choosing to be offended less easily is a strength.
I mean I guess so but there is definitely a threshold where it’s just annoying. No one wants to be with someone around whom they need to walk on eggshells
The more you react the more power you give them.
People are assholes with the intent of getting a reaction out of you. If you consistently give in to them, you are weaker. Period.
Upvoting bc yes, this is and should be an unpopular opinion.
Agreed, especially when it comes to personal topics. Sometimes the one who’s most offended is the one who knows the real and devastating effects of things when others don’t.
Having thick skin doesn’t necessarily mean that things don’t bother you. I mean, it can, but not necessarily. A lot of people with thick skin just won’t react as much when things bother them. They’ll let themselves be upset for a moment and then let it pass. That’s a sign of maturity imo
I say this as someone who is incredibly emotionally sensitive and used to be very thin-skinned, and while I’m still pretty sensitive, I no longer make that other people’s problem. No more outbursts or awkward reactions to light-hearted jokes or banter. And I’m happier for it
It doesn’t make you better than them, but it helps you live a happier life. It’s not always about being better than others, sometimes it’s just about helping yourself
If you’re getting angry every day, it’s probably a you problem.
“You will never reach your destination if you stop and throw stones at every dog that barks.”
― Winston S. Churchill
Leaders being thin skinned is to blame for a lot of the worst events in history. There are ways to manage as thin skinned person but taking everything personally and seriously doesn’t have a lot of benefits.
It doesn’t make you better. But it makes you way less annoying to be around.
I agree, but you also can’t expect anyone to care that you’re upset. I don’t think anyone has ever said being thin skinned is wrong, or makes you a worse person. But people will treat you a certain way because of it. That’s just how society works. Even if they tell you “it’s ok, don’t feel bad” they are still judging you for it.
The more times you get upset or angry, the less seriously people take you the next time you get upset or angry.
Being thin skinned, in my opinion, is being reactionary. You can still comment and reflect on things you deem offensive without throwing a tantrum.
‘than*’ x 2
Not sure if an unpopular opinion or just a fundamental understanding of what people actually mean by thin-skinned.
I think there’s such a thing as an ego so fragile that you can’t handle any criticism and grow as a person. So on occasion you need to accept your own mistakes and flaws, that is the kind of thin skinned that can be harmful- fragile egotism. But being sensitive to yourself and others on it’s own is not a crime.
It’s not about one person being better than another person, it’s about overall wellbeing of that person. Sick people aren’t better as people than healthy people, but helping them to a path to healthiness if possible is generally better for their quality of life.
Less resilient people often suffer more – especially in relation to things they do not have control over.
Having said that there is a flipside disadvantage of being desensitised.
Desensitised people may tolerate more before demanding change on things that they might have control to influence. They may also feel less both ways – the good and the bad.
There’s a balance to be had, with an expected normal variation in the population with sensitive people playing a valuable part, but you can too far one way. It’s not about who is or isn’t better, it’s about the overall well-being of the individual. It’s about how much you can endure suffering and how much you will endure suffering. Resilience can be learned and it can be a valuable skill. So encouraging it shouldn’t be about shaming people who lack resilience – it’s about wanting to help them live higher quality lives.
Being too desensitised can be a problem for different reasons. That’s why the key to resilience isn’t about making people less sensitive. Be sensitive by all means – but put effort into learning resilience, too.
It doesn’t make you better than them, but using “better” without “at” is kind of meaningless.
Being thin skinned can make you better at being easily emotionally manipulated
Something a snow flake would say
You don’t even get what thin skinned means
it’s being a baby over something minor, having a response way out of line with what happened.
And yes, if you can manage your emotions like an adult, you are better than these people.
I dont think u can know if u are thin skinned or thick skinned. How are you supposed to know if u are sensitive to criticism when u dont know the exact effect of that criticism? You cant evalulate exactly how criticism affects ur brain and feelings, because u could be hurt subconsciously. Also u cant judge if other ppl are thick or thin skinned because they could be hiding their emoitions.
As an adult, being thin-skinned is 100% a character flaw. You can’t avoid being frustrated by others ; it happens to the best of us, and isn’t always justified. Instead of throwing a tantrum about it, a reasonable adult has the capacity to shrug it off and move on.
Making others bear the weight of your fragile ego is not the way to go. What offends you specifically might not be legitimately offensive. Feelings and emotions are volatile on their own. Maturity is, in great part, the ability to reign in one’s negative emotions in favor of logic and calm.
It’s a matter of self control, which requires discipline, which is an important component of being a well functioning adult.
the issue with this mentality is that you very clearly call out “someone being rude / making others angry” and then a person responding to that by being offended or getting angry. which honestly is normal.
BUT, where the problems arise is that many people get offended by things that are NOT rude or directly aimed to trigger anger in a person, and then having someone STILL get angry and offended for something trivial.
one could argue “well it may be trivial to YOU but its a very big deal for ME”, in which case the proportion of offense / response is wildly biased and essentially forcing others to conform to YOUR level of offense, rather than YOU take a more logical approach to the issue at hand.
being offended / angered by people who are actively trying to anger / offend you is one thing, losing your shit and going off on everyone because “you dont like what they said” is something else.
I might call it a character flaw, considering how such people escalate things and the dangerous places it can go. If you’re walking around being angry all the time while everyone else goes about their business there’s a decent chance you’re the problem.
The world gives all of us ample opportunity to stop and start an argument, but most of us don’t take it.
Such people are dangerous for road rage alone.
I agree, as long as thin-skinned people don’t expect interaction with strangers beyond small pleasantries and small talk.
I always end up offending thin skinned people. They stop interacting with me so i dont have to feel like im walking on eggshells anymore.
Lots of thin skinned people are entitled to other peoples words. Nah.
You’re assuming the offended person is always justified. Just because you’re offended, doesn’t mean the other person was actually being rude or that their conduct would be considered offensive to most other people.
If this is criticism you got recently, then they’re right considering that you made this reddit post
I feel like even if it is understandable biologically why people get angry, getting angry isn’t usually beneficial in modern society, and tends to escalate conflict. I feel like when people are angry they are less likely to imagine the other person’s point of view or the “why” behind their behavior, and yeah getting angry is probably biologically simpler and makes more sense, but also most of the time what good does it do? People will inevitably sometimes be rude and insensitive regardless of how people “should” act, so personally I feel like caring about that is a waste of time. Thats just me though
I would’ve say I agree, but those times have passed, for people dó get too offended too easily nowadays. Any form of critism or jokes they don’t like they get offended by. Common sense and being polite is the normal thing yet nothing is holy and everything should be allowed to be citicist and/ or made a joke about.
Actually yes it does.
Pretty bad opinion, have an upvote!
Being unable to control your emotions is a weakness. I’m not really sure how you could argue otherwise.
No. Being thin skinned or sensitive isn’t inherently a bad thing but it’s at odds with freedom of expression and association. Example. Someone just makes fun of you not because they dislike you personally but they think what you’re wearing looks ridiculous. They don’t say it directly to you but you find out it was said. You being “think skinned” how do you cope? Do you make their problem? Is the whole world supposed to just play nice with everyone else? That’s not reality.
Thin skinned usually implies getting offended by things that are not reasonably offensive or taking things personally that are not about you. These things don’t make you a “worse” person but man… I had to go to therapy for that shit and I tell you hand on heart it was exhausting.
Set boundaries. Properly understand respect and personal value, but you cannot let yourself be easily offended or let your feelings be easily hurt if you want to be meaningfully happy.
My current mental check is: Do they know you, Do they love you?
> If they don’t know you, don’t care. It 100% does not matter
> If they love you and there are two ways it could be taken, assume they meant the good way.
Adults have emotional control, childern and immature adults don’t.
That’s fine as long as you don’t have double standards.
I need thin-skinned people around me so I know when bullshit in my environment is about to happen, if not I will tolerate it with stoicism and that’s not great!
People who are less easily offended are definitely capable of more. They aren’t held back by inhibitions and moral frustrations.
Woke is broke.
As I understand it, having thin skin means not being able to take even constructive criticism and taking offense where none is intended. It’s having no self-confidence. This is not ok.
There’s a scale here. There’s being so oversensitive that you get upset and stressed out over every little thing, there’s being so insensitive that you just don’t care at all, and then there’s everything inbetween. You shouldn’t snap at people and make your feelings on the matter someone else’s problem, but you don’t want to be apathetic either.
It’s a choice to be offended
And that’s fine, but don’t make that everyone else’s problem.
Offense isn’t the issue, it’s how you express it. There are productive ways to express it and negative ways. Try to train yourself to be productive or nuetral
“It’s now very common to hear people say, ‘I’m rather offended by that.’ As if that gives them certain rights. It’s actually nothing more… than a whine. ‘I find that offensive.’ It has no meaning; it has no purpose; it has no reason to be respected as a phrase. ‘I am offended by that.’ Well, so fucking what.” – Stephen Fry, The Guardian, 5 June 2005