When trying to have an informed discussion about how much violence and sexual assault is perpetuated by men in society with other men it’s almost always a very frustrating experience. The response tends to be “men are the victims of that violence more than women”. As if that negates the issues somehow.
Yet to my mind that makes it even more important for them to discuss it in an open way. If men make up the majority of victims of violence at the hands of other men then they have a vested interest in helping to find actual ways to tactile the problem. Instead they use that statistic to shut down useful dialogue.
It would be refreshing to be able to discuss this with men without the defensiveness and minimising.
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Some of us understand that there’s a problem; some of us are the problem
This is whataboutism at its finest. Do they acknowledge that violence against women is an issue? Are they willing to talk about that? If not, see ya.
Men are more likely to be assaulted by male strangers, women to be assaulted by men they know. I think a lot of guys can’t comprehend what it does to you to always be low-level aware that your friend, coworker, uncle, or significant other could be a real threat to your life and health. It’s fundamentally different than being worried about getting mugged, e.g. because you are distrusting of people you “should” be able to trust.
Or they will say that it’s a tiny subset of males that are violent so why would we fixate on that? 🙄
Add extra points if they bring up the races of the perpetrators when you are discussing victims.
The one I hear a lot is that the real unspoken perpetrators of violence towards black and indigenous women are black and indigenous men. This just serves to “other” male violence.
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i don’t get why it’s so hard for a lot of men to reconcile.
it doesn’t have to be made into a pissing contest about who has it worse. if you’re a non-violent cis man and you want people to know that then you’ve gotta signal that you’re safe.
Where are you meeting these men you are having these conversations with? Because I think most college educated, liberal men would agree with you and not find your opinion to be more than a statement of fact
It doesn’t matter who gets more violence or sexual violence or domestic violence. It’s all bad. Just grow up and be ok with other people
It’s like the terf trans issue. They only bring up women’s rights when there’s a trans woman involved. Men only care about their own mens issues when it’s shutting down a womans issue.
men will always defend men
Any man who is not aware of the threat to women is not a man I will associate with
I suspect this response comes because they’re fine with the way things are and don’t want any changes to happen.
>The response tends to be “men are the victims of that violence more than women”. As if that negates the issues somehow.
>Yet to my mind that makes it even more important for them to discuss it in an open way. If men make up the majority of victims of violence at the hands of other men then they have a vested interest in helping to find actual ways to tactile the problem.
Right?
“So glad you agree that there’s a problem with male violence. How do you suggest we work together to make a change for the better?”
I’m a woman. I’m not blindly accepting anything. I’ve been subject to violence. What I’m saying is the mindset to both genders should be that violence is the last resort. We should think before we lash out.