I used to be fat and overweight, when I was 18 I was around 250-260 pounds. I felt ugly and wasn’t attractive to even myself. I wanted a girlfriend and wanted to also feel better about myself so I got a trainer and started working out. I had a lot of fun working out and still do it to this day. I’m now 195 pounds and in pretty good shape. I’m maybe 15% body fat, not perfectly lean but lean enough to have abs. When I was in college I never tried to talk to any girls because I went to an artsy college so all of the women there were kind of the shy and nerdy type. I’m more of a sporty athletic guy and so I felt that none of them would be into me which was probably the correct assumption. Then COVID happened and so I finished college remote, the last 2 years of school.
I decided to finally try to start dating in 2022, I downloaded Tinder, posted a few selfies and got hardly any matches and the matches I got never talked to me or replied to my messages. After about 2 weeks or so I just deleted Tinder and sort of tucked my tail between my legs. I didn’t try dating again for 2 1/2 years until recently. I downloaded Bumble maybe 2 weeks ago and I spent 4 days or so liking hundreds of accounts (probably 100-150 or so) and went through thousands of accounts, all I got was 1 like and it wasn’t even a match. I deleted Bumble with the same sort of embarrassing feeling I had when I deleted Tinder.
I’ve accepted that I’m never gonna be a physically attractive guy but one thing I’ve learned is that I can’t be upset. The reason why I can’t be upset is because I did everything I could and I built a positive lifestyle that I never would’ve had without emotional pain. I did everything I could so just because it didn’t workout doesn’t mean it wasn’t worth it. This is sort of a message to any other guys who feel this way. As long as you did everything you could you can’t really be upset. I may have to live this life solo (I’m almost 25 now) but at least I’m closer to becoming the best version of myself.
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Man. 24/5 ? what a baby lol, you are young kid im 43 and didn’t find my first kiss til 27, first fuck at 32 no lie. I was short and fat, broke and a nerdy from K-12. But I too went on a health journey for 2 years and shed 50lbs, i was more confident but still a lot of self esteem/confidence issues… i pursued money, can’t say it’s for everyone but it kept me driven. The grit and self love over all that pain, suffering, loneliness finally started paying off in my 30s. I fully embraced myself and I guess it really showed in social settings, i spoke about the things i was passionate about which the gals told me show cased my intellect and passion a lot which some of them really found attractive, pair that with being successful def didn’t hurt.
Not saying I had a perfect journey and found a wife/kids, I have not yet but from having no ladies til early 30s, ive since had 3 very long term relationships, a ton of fun in between and till on the journey to be better and love myself even more. Don’t sweat, focus on yaself for sure you are young as hell man, we’re lucky as guys age is in our favor til prob 60s lol