I’ve been avoiding my friends for months and I don’t know how to fix it

r/

I’ve been avoiding my friends for months now, and I feel guilty about it. It started out small, like missing a hangout here and there, but over time it’s become a habit. I tell myself it’s because I’m busy or just need time alone, but the truth is, I don’t know how to tell them that I just don’t feel like being around people right now.

I’ve been pushing them away slowly, and now it feels like there’s this huge distance between us that I can’t undo. I feel bad because I know they care, but I don’t want to lie to them either.

Has anyone else done this? How do I fix it without making things awkward?

Comments

  1. Aggravating_Oil6096 Avatar

    Hello, I have done this too. Its normal to feel like that. You can try to work things out. You can tell them how you are feeling. Your real friends will understand and wait, offer help. Let you get yourself together. Now that you want to fix this. You can ask them to hangout together and have a talk with them. Tell them what happened. I am sure they will understand. Don’t worry, they are likely to understand this. Many people feel what you just described.

  2. MaxCollins48 Avatar

    I’ve been there. Just tell them you need space. They’ll understand. When you’re ready, reconnecting will be easier.

  3. Acrobatic_Cow_2667 Avatar

    i’ve been there, it sucks on one hand and on the other it’s peaceful. eventually i moved away and learned who they really were even with my ghosting phases, as i call it. i don’t have any advice lmao but sometimes we push and push but if they’re real they’ll stay connected- sometimes they know you need space even if you don’t directly tell them, and some people get irked by people like us who need some space for a while. but in the end you’ll find out who really roots for you and who really cares, things might seem awkward when you finally respond but if they really care then they won’t care how long it took:) just the fact that you responded!
    i don’t think there’s a need to lie- everybody is different and i understand wanting to lie but not everyone wants to constantly talk/mingle, i can assume you’re an introvert and that’s normal. everyone has their own comfort levels and that’s just yours and there’s nothing wrong with that! just let them know that sometimes you really can’t mentally do a hangout or you’re mentally tired, not everyone will understand but you do, and you do what’s best for you. the real ones will always be there❤️

  4. skkkrtt-skkkrtt Avatar

    I avoided my friend when he was depressed, he was stuck on a same topic and I was tired with the explaining him again and again, I got frustrated and ignored him for 2 days, he kept calling and texting

    3rd day 8am his sister called to say that he had hanged himself

    2 years and I still can’t forgive myself.

  5. Brokeredintiution Avatar

    The same thing happens with family, like temporary cutoffs. Unless you were a miscreant they’ll accept you back. Just have be more social with them.

  6. woozy-atmosphere Avatar

    I’m two years deep into this rn. It’s so weird sort of reintegrating myself back into society lol but i find that keeping an open mind is always good— I usually end up enjoying unexpected conversations with less familiar faces because it just feels lighter sometimes.

    But things ebb and flow, so i feel some sense of security in the interpersonal relationships i maintain, and the notion that pulling away doesn’t have to damage relationships with loved ones.

  7. guyferrari- Avatar

    Sometimes honesty is all you can do. True friends will be there for you as long as you express that you love them and it isn’t personal to them

  8. Edgeless_SPhere Avatar

    Why don’t you you tell them the truth? tell them that you needed time for yourself and if they are real friends, they’ll understand you

  9. Equivalent_Sundae454 Avatar

    Guilt is lying to you. But you have to reach out first because you are the one who isolated yourself. The real ones would understand. 100%.

  10. SnooShortcuts3961 Avatar

    Communication is key, tell them about your feelings of wanting to be alone and that it’s not personal against them. Maybe you’re suffering from social anxiety?

  11. Negative_Scientist89 Avatar

    ive been there, just communicate that u need space, life sometimes has a way of pulling us back and forth and sometimes i just get tired i can’t juggle friendships, my child, work, my relationship, my family and school its alot of things all at once if they are ur friends they will understand always.

  12. WitchyTat2dGypsy Avatar

    I’m in the middle of that right now.

  13. Calm-Beautiful8703 Avatar

    Live your life, make your choices, your decisions, and own them

  14. LunaCaterpillar Avatar

    Im the same, just absolutely drained. Ive told them though that I feel like being alone. Idk how to fix this feeling though

  15. Icy-Condition2500 Avatar

    My gf’s and I normally take turns throughout the year to just be alone. And we all approach it differently. As of this year, 3 of us have taken some time. Hopefully, they’re mature enough to understand people and relationships have ups and downs but communication is best to maintain heathy relationships.