This started as a dumb excuse, and now I’m in too deep.
Years ago, I went on a date with this girl who was obsessed with peanut butter. She kept pushing me to try her peanut butter smoothie, even after I said I wasn’t in the mood. Instead of just saying no, I blurted out, “Oh, I can’t—I’m allergic.”
Big mistake.
She was super concerned, asked a million questions, and I figured, whatever, I’d never see her again. But then she introduced me to her friend group. And they all knew about my “allergy.” At that point, correcting it felt too awkward.
Fast forward six years. I’m still friends with these people. My “allergy” is a known fact. They warn restaurants for me, they check ingredients, one of them even threw out a peanut butter cake someone brought to a party “just to be safe.”
The worst part? I love peanut butter. I eat it in secret. I have a stash at work. Once, my best friend said, “Man, it must suck not knowing what a Reese’s tastes like.” And I just nodded solemnly.
Now, my girlfriend (who also believes I’m allergic) wants us to move in together… and she’s super cautious about food. I’m terrified she’ll find my peanut butter stash and think I’ve been LYING TO HER.
Which I have. For years.
I have no idea how to get out of this. Do I fake a “miracle recovery”? A medical misdiagnosis? Or do I just keep the lie going forever?
TL;DR: Lied about a peanut allergy, now I’m living a double life and can never eat Reese’s in public.
Comments
Definitely a difficult situation. But If I was you I’d tell them, if they’re you’re true friends they’ll stick with you after this but never break trust for as long as this again, it’s nasty business.
i’m gonna be real with you, misdiagnosis is your best bet
Wow, that’s a really tricky situation to be in! The lie definitely spiraled out of control, but the fact that it’s gone on for years makes it harder to unravel.
First things first, honesty is your best bet here. The longer you wait, the more complicated it becomes. Sure, admitting to a lie like this can feel embarrassing and awkward, but it’s also a great opportunity to show vulnerability and growth. Here’s a suggestion on how you might approach it:
It’s definitely going to be awkward at first, but it’s better to get ahead of it rather than keeping up the charade. Plus, this could actually bring you closer to the people in your life since they’ll see that you’re being honest, which can be a great foundation for your relationship moving forward.
And who knows? Maybe your friends will even help you with your “peanut butter recovery” process!
Say you outgrew it? I think some people can outgrow some allergies. One lie negates another 🤷🏼♀️
Your next step is telling her you’re seeing an allergist whose been micro dosing peanuts for you to get to eat them and voila, CURED. It’s actually a thing, and what’s one more lie. Dude come clean or do it quick before she marries you and has access to your medical records 😂
A relationship built on lies cannot survive. You need to come clean. If she forgives you, you’re damn lucky; if she doesn’t, take this as a lesson. Don’t lie.
I’d rel them you got desensitized with omalozumab.
https://www.nejm.org/doi/full/10.1056/NEJMoa2312382
Go for allergy testing. Say you had a strong reaction to something with PB previously and so you wrongly assumed… but it must have been something else bc – drumroll/miracle – it wasn’t the PB after all!
Honestly, you got 3 options: 1) Say you were misdiagnosed (find a good alternative or 2) say you outgrew it or 3) tell the truth
Look into allergy shots…?
One day you’re gonna slip up and say, “Man, I miss peanut butter” and it’s all over. Also, stop lying to others.
If it helps, I legitimately outgrew a shellfish allergy and my… allergy doctor (I’m sure there’s a name for it) told me that sometimes allergies just go away, like how you can acquire an allergy.
So like, outgrowing an allergy is possible! I was badly allergic as a child and when I had an allergy test done in my late 20s, it was gone. I’ve since had shellfish with no ill effects.
THIS is what i’m on this subreddit for. This stuff is gold 🤩
Oh and sorry to hear that, OP. Maybe this is one of those things you take to your grave… or maybe, like someone else suggested, you feign shock at accidentally eating peanut butter and call it a misdiagnosis. How good is your poker face?
Do noootttt tell the truth imo. You will destroy every relationship you have.
Suck it up, pay to go to an allergist with the pretext of a routine check (many people with allergies go once in a while if they’re concerned something changed or if the allergies they have are severe) if insurance won’t cover it. It will show you’re “no longer allergic”, and you can share the good news with everyone.
My sibling is allergic to everything on the planet, and goes every few years to keep an eye on what they’re allergic to and how severe the allergy is. It wouldn’t be too crazy for you to go.
I like the idea of this story but have a hard time believing you’ve dated six years without moving in together shear or at least having her over long enough to discover your dirty peanut butter secret.
This is actually hilarious. Sounds like something I’d get myself into. I say keep it going because it’s harmless. Say you’re going to an allergist/doctor who is treating you in building a tolerance to PB and be super dramatic with your miracle cure.
Hey man I think there’s been people who get used to their allergies just say you accidentally ate peanuts and it did nothing I think they’d be pretty excited
Tell them that you’ve had allergy desensitization therapy?
You had so many opportunities to tell the truth. Just do it now. She will find out either way.
Just tell them you accidently ate something with peanuts in it and you didn’t have a reaction so you must have outgrown it.
Or go full out and get an allergy test and say you’re not longer allergic
I wouldn’t tell the truth here. You’re too far gone 😂
You can eat a Reese’s in private tbh
This sounds like something George would get himself into in a seinfeld episode.
Look into oral allergy syndrome, it’s when your body has a reaction to various foods because of a certain tree pollen. Birch allergy can cause sensitivity to many fruits, along with peanuts. You can grow into or out of it, might be a good explanation!
It’s like that SNL skit where Louis CK fakes being more hood for years…(“This is how I talk”)
I would try to medically prove that you no longer have a peanut allergy
Your punishment is you can never eat peanut butter again. Ever!
Just have some “blood work” done at your Doctor’s and find out that you have been mistaken all these years. You can have a peanut butter party to celebrate and pretend to taste peanut butter for the first time.
Just “outgrow it”. Happened to my younger brother. Poof, at 22 he magically could consume peanut butter.
Tell her that you just found out from your grandparent that your parents lied to your whole life about your peanut allergy because you went through a period when you were like 2 1/2 years old where all you wanted to eat was peanut butter sandwiches and they were desperate to get you to eat other things.
Very sitcom lmao, I think there are some reasonable options in the comments, good luck.
Just say you had the allergy as a kid and have obviously avoided peanuts ever since but you accidentally ate peanuts recently and you were fine so you checked with your doctor and you outgrew the allergy. (For context 20-25% of children with peanut allergies in childhood outgrow them)
It’s not common BUT some people grow out of peanut allergies. I don’t usually condone lying in relationships but if you promise to never do anything like this again I shall give you my advice as a nut allergic girly.
Say you recently saw an article about how someone grew out of a peanut allergy and it made you curious as you haven’t tried since you were young. “Go” to an allergist and return saying “I grew out of it! They recommend slowly trying peanuts to make sure you actually have in fact grown out of it.
I hope you realize that causally lying is even to people you don’t think you’ll know forever is just a bad idea in general. Also she’s never questioned you not having an epipen?? I literally have two on me at all times and I haven’t had an exposure in years.
Just say your parents told you you’ve had a peanut allergy since childhood and you went to an allergist to inquire about micro-dosing and they did some tests and you found out you’ve outgrown the allergy.
My brother was allergic to peanuts his whole life and outgrew the allergy, you could definitely just say that you’re gonna get an allergy test, you outgrew the allergy, and then get away with it!!
I became allergic to peanuts when I had covid…
People fade out of allergies all the time. Not typically with nut allergies but I’m sure it’s happened before. Ride on that.
If u love peanut butter so much why didn’t you wanna try her peanut butter smoothie bad enough to say your allergic
Blame a parent. Jk this is what came to mind when I saw your post. https://images.app.goo.gl/A2boQXysBdxZVU5Z8
Can’t you say. The DR did some tests and it looks like time has Bern in your favor. Longer allergic….. ease into looking PB.
I don’t have any advice, but this made laugh.
The only option is to move across the country and start a new life, sorry to break the bad news.
Did you tell them how bad it was?
I have an incredibly mild peanut allergy. But it makes eating anything cooked in peanut oil (most fries :() and peanut butter pretty uncomfortable. Maybe you could be like “yeah its actually not as severe as I thought”
Say you’ve been randomly cured when you accidentally got some peanut exposure. You can get new/lose allergies every 7 years or so. Good luck and honestly hilarious you kept it up this long
You could go to your ENT, bewildered, you were misdiagnosed. You’ve been avoiding the wrong thing for years. It may have been an ingredient additive in a particular brand at the time you were a kid or something.
Now you are embarrassed to tell everyone after all the trouble they’ve gone to.
You’ve been advised to proceed cautiously with peanut products.
Though… You WILL have the original problem.
People will be so excited for you to experience peanut butter things (there are so many) you will be flooded with PB and peanut items every chance you get.
Think PB everything. Beverages, snacks, appetizers, entrées, desserts, candies.
All in a well meaning, excited way… just friends thrilled to share their faves with you.
People occasionally no longer become allergic to things.
It’s a thing. Not super common, but it does happen. The body is weird like that.
Congratulations on being a new statistic lol.
You can outgrow allergies, but I think misdiagnosis is your best bet.
The best I could see on chat GTP was bug bites and medication allergy could be misdiagnosis for peanut allergy. Everything else was either food related or gastrointestinal problems and your trying to get away from those. Pretend to get retested and tell her the doc said it was probably one of the above and you “just went with it” for all these years.
People grow out of allergies (and develop new ones) through life, all the time.
You had a baked good someone made at work and didn’t realize it had peanut butter in it. You waited for your allergic reaction, but nothing happened. You’ve decide to visit your doctor to find out what the deal is. You then find out that either you outgrew your allergy, OR you weren’t allergic at all, and it may have been something else your were allergic to.
“I guess I must have been exposed something else and they just assumed a peanut allergy. Ive been missing out for X years!”
So let me get this straight:
You’re both super into peanut butter. So much so that she was trying to force it on you on your first date, and you keep a secret stash.
Tell you what: offer to pack her buttcrack with peanut butter and drill it out with your tongue like an 1849 gold miner to make up for your lies, and I’d bet that makes it even.
I was allergic to peanuts from the time I was born until I was 19. Like deathly, 5/5 scale, carry epi-pen everywhere allergic. And one day I went in for allergy testing and they were like you’re not allergic anymore. I had to sit in the office for the “peanut challenge” but I did genuinely out grow my peanut allergy. It’s great!
Say you outgrew it
I outgrew my selfish allergy by eating it in small dose for a while. it can happen
Just say you cured it with micro dosing.
I would go for allergy testing and just “slowly reintroduce it”
Allergies can spontaneously arise as well as disappear, I like the idea of finding a reason to get an allergy test and then find out the surprising results that you are no longer allergic to peanuts
Google exposure/tolerance therapy.
Allergies can resolve.
And we can also become allergic to things we’ve had before.
Allergies can change.
Do some Googling.
Our bodies change every 7 years.
I grew up eating tzatziki sauce on gyros, my dad used to own a gyro shop!
One day I went to Starbucks and got their little meal in a plastic container with cucumbers and tzatziki sauce. I thought for sure it had to be bad food I had a reaction to, then it happened again.
I broke out into hives, my throat closed up, had to carry an EpiPen, the whole thing.
Then it happened with bananas!
This was all about 7 years ago, and guess what!?
I’m able to eat both of them again.
It could have also been a leaky gut, I truly have no idea, but I am thankful I am able to eat both again.
Look up leaky gut and food allergies!
Maybe start taking some probiotics and tell her you heard that your leaky gut was causing it and you accidentally tried peanut butter and didn’t have a reaction, or maybe just say your throat was a bit itchy but nothing that took you to the ER.
Just trying to help!
I hope the best for you and your relationship.
Also, just so you understand it even though you could just look it up, when you have a leaky gut your food is not fully digested and goes into your blood stream, which can cause potentially cause an immune response which leads to an allergic reaction and/or inflammation.
Don’t stack more lies, come clean and face the music or just never eat peanut stuff again
This is the funniest secret one can possibly keep that wouldn’t ruin anyone’s life or hurt many feelings
Hehehehe this is friggin hilarious. Thank you OP for making me laugh. And I get it. Just claim you were either misdiagnosed or have outgrown your “peanut allergy”. 🤭
Just say it’s faded over time and you’ve gotten older and you can eat it now, just couldn’t as a kid, and you just stuck with it until recently.
People do outgrow allergies. Just like you can develop them later in life, you can also stop being allergic. Just say you had testing done and you’re no longer going to keel over from eating it.
My husband was ‘allergic’ to nuts for years but never had an offical diagnosis. We avoided everything, our friends were so diligent and helpful. We all went above and beyond for him and this ‘allergy’.
Then one day I’d had enough and sent him to an allergist. Turns out he’d out grown the allergies (if he even had them😂) This is your one and only way out!
I’m a registered nurse, and I can tell you that people outgrow their allergies all the time. You could go to an allergist and have them do a food challenge with you and if you pass it, then you could indicate that the allergy isn’t showing up on the test. Or, you could just opt to tell them the complete truth. It’s actually kind of a funny story.
Just stop eating peanut butter. You made your peanut butterless bed, now lay in it.
Wow. This is like a Seinfeld episode. Except way broader in time and scope. Marvelous.
I was actually allergic to cinnamon for quite a while and recently the allergy wore off and I showed people how much I was missing out on with being able to try a bunch of desserts now
Sorry for your situation, but this is the funniest thing i have read all day. Sounds like you need to get everyone together and have some sort of reverse intervention…
Tell her you have done desensitisation and that you have been cleared to eat peanut butter. The same as someone being cured from bee sting allergies due to desensitisation.
This is hilarious and you have to just tell her.
Similar situation happened between me and a guy I dated for years. Before he had met me, when he was in high school and the new kid, he lied to a group of kids saying he was a year older than he was. He just wanted to seem a little cooler. Well he stayed friends with this group and the lies spun out in a similar way where it got way too late to correct. It had been years of this lie when he met me, and he met me with one of his friends, so of course he also told me this fake age. He eventually came clean when we had broken up and gotten back together, saying that he needed to get something off his chest and couldn’t continue the lie… I thought he was going to say he had a secret family or something! Nope, he was just one year younger. I had a WTF??? reaction and found it pretty funny after I processed it. It ended up being no big deal and I kept his secret from his friends lol
Tell your girlfriend that you have something you need to come clean about and that you’ll need her help. Tell her your Big Peanut Butter Lie and have her support a story of misdiagnosis or growing out of the allergy for your friends. Or keep living a sad, peanut butter-less life, your call
Admit to the lie
People can outgrow allergies OP! I grew out of my citrus allergy!
Just say doctor wants you to introduce it to your bosy slowly start by licking a peanut then later lick a spoon full of peanut butter then eat a sandwich with peanut butter and say how u have been missing out this whole time and thank her for changing your life
*Thank god this supplement I found on instagram or some shit cured me!”
George Costanza?
Holy fuck dude this is pure comedy 😂
Say you went in for an allergy test and found it that you’re not allergic. The allergist expects you’re actually allergic to something else that was in some specific peanut product or that got cross contaminated.
Real example: my family thought I was allergic to maraschino cherries for years after having a bad reaction to them. Never was, I can have them just fine. I’ve had a similar reaction about a dozen times in my life to completely different things. At this point I’m pretty sure it must be a preservative or a cleaning product
My daughter outgrew her allergy. 20 percent do. Maybe it’s time for “follow-up testing”, then an in-office “challenge.” You may just discover you, too, have outgrown it?
There was another post similar to this but with pineapples 😂 OP made up an allergy when they were young. Their older siblings had allergies and they wanted one too. Of course, it stuck.. same thing, they ate pineapple in secret. Anyway they, too, got tired of living a lie. I believe they went with the…”I must have outgrown it” excuse.
In truth, I used to break out in a rash if I had too much chocolate as a kid. Outgrew that one. It can happen! Good luck 🤞🏻
Just tell her bro
No one is actually going to suspect you have been lying about an allergy. Tell one last lie and say you ate a cookie with peanut butter in it or something at work, but didn’t find out until a couple days later and nothing happened. Everyone is going to freak, so then say, it has made u curious about your allergies and u will get an allergy panel done to confirm if it is still an allergy.
Couple things, be ready to explain what happens to you usually when u have a reaction because they are going to ask “well how did u know u were having a reaction before. Examples are: hives, mouth itches, tongue swells, throat closes.
Secondly, be ready to be offered all kinds of shit with peanut butter again, because if they are THIS into your allergy, they will be just as interested in you trying things u haven’t had over the last 6 years.
Face it friend, peanut butter is your personality forever. However, u will one day eat a Reese’s in front of your friends.
Stay Strong
This is insane. You have to tell her because you’re moving in with each other and that’s how mature adult relationships work.
Two possibilities. You could say you got tested and that you no longer have the allergy! It’s spontanously resolved itself, which the allergy testing person said is rare, but it does happen. So then you would try a tiny challenge – an orange pip sized bit of peanut butter in the mouth, then spat it out – no reaction, so the next day you tried 2 pips and it was OK, and you’ve been able to increase it and you seem to be OK! I think this does happen, particularly because the allergy seems to be acquired/activate itself in childhood.
The other option is you can say you’ve been treated for it and it worked! The treatments I know about take 3-6 months and it still wouldn’t be “safe” for you to have peanuts until the cycle ended.
This was a fun read. I agree with other commenters, say you outgrew it.
Just so happen to “accidentally” ingest peanut butter / peanuts. But don’t say anything right away. Wait long enough so no one immediately calls an ambulance or stabs you with an EpiPen. Feign ignorance. Be surprised you’re fine. Say you’ll mention it at your next checkup or go get an allergy test done. You don’t have to run the whole panel, just peanuts. When you pass, celebrate with Reese’s Pieces.
My mom outgrew her allergies to strawberries and shrimp as an adult. It happens.
OP, I’m allergic to soy but I actually still eat it. I took allergy shots and drops for many years. I accidentally consumed some soy milkshakes (not realizing they were soy) and found out I had no reaction. I found out I’ve been eating soy sprouts (which do have a reaction but super mild, almost unnoticeable). I think I’ve built up a tolerance / basically am curing my allergy?? I haven’t really tested it beyond these accidents but I do know that my allergy shots / drops were supposed to help alleviate my allergies over time so I think sharing a similar story is the way to go.
Hear me out… They already know. They’ve known for years. Dave smelled it on your breath after you snuck a Reese’s in the bathroom at dinner that one time. Marissa saw you eating cracker jacks at the ball game when you thought no one was watching. They’ve all placed bets on when/how the truth will come out.