Over the past 6+ months, I’ve (f 21) been harassed, stalked, and threatened by my ex(m 25). We broke up long ago, but he refuses to let me go. He has used dozens of temporary phone numbers to continue contacting me after being blocked multiple times. His messages are filled with horrible sexual insults, horrible threats, accusations, and manipulation. He’s also made vague but terrifying threats about my my past jobs, and even used personal things I once confided in him—like my address and my ex-boyfriend’s information—as weapons to intimidate me.
During the relationship, he voluntarily gave me money. After the breakup, he first demanded $10,000, then later said I didn’t need to pay him. Then he changed his mind again and asked for $3,000, which I paid. Now he’s saying I still owe him more and threatens to sue me for fraud, even though there was never any written agreement, and all the transfers happened while we were in a relationship. He keeps insisting I’m a scammer, even though I’ve paid everything he asked.
He says he’s collecting all my past and trying to “make me pay” and “bring everything to light”—but I don’t have a criminal record. I’ve never scammed anyone, never stolen anything, and never committed any real wrongdoing. He just keeps bringing up things from my private life and twisting them to make threats. He would call me 20 times late at night and send all the horrible and hateful messages to me.
He told me he’s flying abroad next month and that when he boards the plane, the lawsuit will be served to me. I have no idea if he actually will sue, or if this is another one of his psychological games.
I’ve gathered hundreds of screenshots and messages where he says he won’t bother me anymore—and then continues harassing me. He keeps saying I’m cold-hearted for blocking him, while ignoring my right to not engage with someone who’s been abusive.
Emotionally, I’m falling apart. I can’t sleep well. I feel unsafe every time I get a new call from a number I don’t recognize. I’ve already written a final message to him asking him to stop contacting me and explaining his actions are unlawful and damaging. I’m considering filing a restraining order but I’m scared it might escalate things.
Location: CA
Comments
Document. Get a police record. Get a restraining order. Arm yourself.
Don’t give him a dime. That money was given voluntarily, technically a gift. You owe him nothing. I’d file with the police and keep a paper trail. You seem pretty on top of documenting it all. Smh that’s absolutely horrible and I’m sorry you are going through this
> I feel unsafe every time I get a new call from a number I don’t recognize. I’ve already written a final message to him asking him to stop contacting me and explaining his actions are unlawful and damaging. I’m considering filing a restraining order but I’m scared it might escalate things.
Stop responding. Don’t answer calls from unknown numbers. Don’t “explain” anything to him. Don’t respond to texts.
That’s just going to encourage him. You need to destroy the feedback loop.