My (28F) partner (33M) makes this lasagna that he swears is “legendary.” He made it for me when we first started dating and I panicked and said, “This is amazing!” It was… fine. The noodles were undercooked, the ricotta was cold in the middle, and he uses cottage cheese for some reason?? But I saw how proud he was. He said, “I don’t cook much, but this is the one thing I nail every time.”
I didn’t have the heart to say anything. And now, every single special occasion, the lasagna comes out. Birthday? Lasagna. Promotion? Lasagna. Sick day? Lasagna. I’ve been living in a Garfield-flavored prison. It gets worse: he made it for my parents when they visited… and they hated it. My dad whispered, “Is this a joke?” I panicked again and told him, “They’re just not used to the seasoning.” I’ve created a monster. He’s talking about entering it into a local cooking competition.
I don’t know how to get out of this lasagna lie. Do I fake a dairy allergy? Say I’ve suddenly discovered I’m gluten-free? Help.
Comments
This is sweet to me for some reason 🙂
I have no advice, unfortunately!
No. Help him improve it. Give him little “tips” and feedback. Make it with him and slowly improve it over time.
If you could commit to the act of loving it for 3 years, then you can do this. Please spare him the embarrassment.
“Honey I had some ideas for your lasagna dish. Can we turn it into OUR special dish??”
Just tweak one thing at a time.
Oh, man you gave me a good laugh this morning! 🤣🤣
I don’t have any advice for you, but I give you my thanks. 🙏🏾
I have been trying to think of graceful exits, but… you might just need to live in Lasagna Prison. The things we do for love…
(Maybe try to get him hooked on making a different showpiece food, instead?)
Get him a gift of a cooking class so he can learn some new hits (not because he needs to learn how to cook, obviously).
Just be honest about why you said you loved it and experiment with him on how to make it elite. I feel like most men can get behind that
He uses both ricotta and cottage cheeses? That’s a bit crazy. I could understand having mixed up cottage for ricotta, but both?
You’re gonna just have to come clean. Bite the bullet and tell him straight up that you were trying not to offend him, but you’re really not that fond of his lasagna, and make sure to give it constructive criticism as to how he can improve it.
Hopefully, this becomes a funny story to relate down the line to others.
There’s a whole story about a wife who burned some dish and served it to her husband, and he sat there and ate every single bite without complaint, even going so far as to say how good it was. Well, there’s something to be said about accepting a gift from someone else, you should be grateful for what they have given you, the time in the effort, but if you lead them to believe it was truly to your liking, you’re doing both of you a disservice.
I just told my new partner that if I served him something he didn’t like he needed to tell me otherwise I would assume he liked it that way it would continue serving it that way even if I knew there was no way he could actually be enjoy enjoying it
Just be honest.
Make some yourself that tastes a lot better and then he will know
Why continue to lie over something this small of a dilema it’s okay to speak some transparent healthy communication with honesty about his cooking approach.
Not all taste buds are created equal. You’re only making things potentially worse for your in the relationship where he may question more about you and honesty with other things.
My advice is to let him enter the competition. Please update us.
Edit: here’s why: when they inevitably tell him how disgusting his lasagna is, he may be too upset to ever make it again, or he’ll ask you how you really feel which opens a line for you to make suggestions. Of course, you could just come out with the truth that you didn’t want to hurt his feelings. Honesty is best.
Sick day? Lasagna!
The obvious answer is to let him join the cooking competition
Seconded the advice on making it with him and changing it gradually. Idk why hes putting cottage cheese in it, thats nasty. You could also try to get him to make a lasagna that has bolognese and bechamel with no cottage cheese (or if he’s obsessed with putting that in there, he could make the bechamel with cottage cheese) and that way, you switch it up and help him with that one. Then you guys can have your OWN lasagna thats a hell of an improvement over what hes been making
You get out of a white lie by admitting you’re a people pleaser who lies to make people feel better. Your partner has seen you white lying before, so he’ll know it’s consistent with your personality to say whatever he wants to hear instead of the ugly truth. Next time someone serves you bad food, say thank you and take a few bites to show your appreciation. Do NOT compliment the chef.
Yeah you kinda gaslit this dude into space…
I have no advice because I’d have told him on day 1 to never make this again (i am mean).
Just came to say this post gave me a hearty laugh this morning. Your dad’s reaction has me crying right now. Like, I know he talked about that shit on the car ride home… Hilarious.
Anyways thanks for posting this. 😊
You need to reverse psychology this situation. Tell him it’s so good it’s becoming overused on special.occasions. challenge him to create a new special occasion dish using his lasagne skills. Then make sure you micromanage the situation to the result you want.
Or you take the couples bonding approach and say you would really like it if the two of you could develop a special celebratory dish you can do together to celebrate life’s big wins and events.
Then you keep the lasagne for other notable occasions…. Like funerals.
Be careful. Years ago during a huge row I told my now-ex husband what I thought of his legendary cottage pie (dry rabbit droppings topped with mash summarised it). Didn’t end well.
Start sprinkling in questions about the recipe, if he’s changed it? say something taste different about it and that suddenly you don’t like it anymore. Something along those lines.
You’ve been with him long enough to tell him that his lasagna is crap. 💩
Keep the lie going. Telling him you don’t like the lasagna will hurt him.
Let other people say they don’t like the lasagna. You can even set up some friends to say they didn’t like the sauce, or flavor. And then you can suggest, “maybe we try to master another recipe” or you can offer to add an amazing salad or garlic bread when he makes it. So you have other aspects of the meal.
Ask him to teach you how to make his famous lasagna and make some suggestions along the way.
I think you could try to just tell him that while you deeply appreciate his willingness to make his favorite dish for you, lasagna in general isn’t your absolute favorite and you prefer some diversity in your cuisine. That’s simply stating nobody wants the same thing every time (but say this in a very kind way!). You could suggest learning to cook something new together for fun even if you already know a dish. Or if you don’t mind cooking, act like you really want to cook instead to show him your love.
whatever happens, this is awesome. good luck!
Encourage the cooking competition — it might give him a dose of reality.
Why is it always Lasagna? I feel like lasagna is a go-to dish people use for impressing people for some bizarre reason.
the fact that you make it with so much care means the world.
Tel him you are getting too much of a “good thing” and want to try and mix it up!
Tell the truth
Invite over some tweens – those little shits pull zero punches 😂
cottage cheese allergy 100% because that is crazy work LOL. & maybe say you’ve discovered you love rlly hot stuff & thus it needs to be baked a little longer (to soften the noodles + warm the ricotta). when he makes it & isn’t looking, throw spices in there like ur color correcting LMAO then when the ((new and improved)) lasagne comes out, rave over it (and him by extension) like it’s your firstborn, pretend ur jacob imprinting on bellas daughter and beg for only this recipe moving forward. make it your “relationship” lasagne like “our song” lol. then the cottage cheese allergy can “go away” (if you want to eat it again) without risking reintroducing into the newly minted recipe
>I’ve been living in a Garfield-flavored prison.
I love this line!
I think it’s time to come clean. He’s now seeking out a wider audience and he’s going to embarrass himself if you don’t set him straight. Tell him what’s wrong – undercooked noodles, cold in the middle, etc.
You could just act like he messed up the next time he made it. “These noodles are undercooked. Is something wrong with the oven? It’s cold in the middle. This needs to go back in another 10-15 minutes.”
I don’t know what to tell you about the cottage cheese. Maybe tell him you’re craving some ingredient and ask if he can add it to his recipe to start nudging him towards changing things up.
Tell him his lasagna sucks. He’ll surely be disappointed and/or a little miffed, but reverse cowgirl should help him with the pain.
Then turn it into a project to develop really good lasagna.
Is your husband Peggy Hill?
Does he not eat it too?
My only advice is to get violently ill after eating it “unrelated” of course, but that always leaves an aversion to whatever it was I was throwing up.
“So sorry babe, it wasn’t your amazing lasagna, but it’s gonna be a LONG WHILE before I can even look at that again after what I went through overnight…” no harm no foul.
I would just request other dishes. Eh “babe xyz is coming up and I know we usually celebrate with your lasagne, but I’d love to but I’d love to branch out/im really craving [other dish]. Could we try making it together?” Just keep it light and friendly.
Like even if the lasagne were that good who would want it for every occasion??? Very reasonable to request other things
Fake food poisoning after your next lasagne. Tell him you’re too afraid to eat it again.
Whenever you eat it just let out a “…Mondays….”
Just tell him now that you’re getting older, your taste/texture appreciation is changing. He will be happy to take your suggestions to accommodate you!
I’d just tell him. „I lied about loving your lasagna because I liked the chef way more than I liked the cooking. I still absolutely adore the chef (here you rain some compliments about how amazing of a person he is), but baby, your lasagna is… actually not that good. But I know how happy it makes you so what about making some improvements?”
Had an ex that made me lasagna once and it was terrible, I still ate it with a smile and said it was great. Afterwards however, I asked my mom to make our family lasagna and invited the gf over. Once she tasted it she was blown away and asked my mom to teach her, sometimes you just need to show them the truth instead of telling them.
We make lasagna with only mozzarella cheese, beef, noodles, and a sauce. My child hates it with other cheeses.
Garfield-flavored prison OMG… Best thing I read today. Anyway, as he makes it so often you could very well tell him you kinda just don’t crave it anymore… A couple of nahs later when he offers to cook it and luckily he will find his passion elsewhere. But what the hell do I know, might as well ruin your life, don’t listen to me.
This would be a GREAT topic for the “We’re Here To Help” podcast!! Please consider messaging them! https://www.heretohelppod.com/
maybe he can obsess over bread next and the lasagna will be hopefully forgotten or retired
I love cottage cheese in lasagna— it’s much better than ricotta. It’s my mother’s trick & her lasagna is quite loved. 5)/4 said, I think your BF is missing the mark somewhere. I think cooking together might be one way to help him improve it. But also, you could mention another dish you’d like for an upcoming occasion— “I’d love to grill steaks for my birthday this year.”
The worst thing you can do is have him looking crazy thinking his food is amazing lol tell that man his lasagna needs work.
Show him a viral lasagna recipe you just found on TikTok that everyone is raving about. Maybe he can try to follow that one to the letter, to see if it lives up to the hype.
Then rave about this new recipe, so he can start using the new one!
Cottage cheese in lasagna?!? Please.
He just needs another option and a little encouragement.
Say “did you change something it’s not the same as before “ lol
You need to get an obsession with a new food. Can you pivot and have him work on BBQ meats or something? I know that sounds stupid but every man I know enjoys cooking a brisket. Have him make a decent one and say “Wow, now THAT is the thing we need to make on Christmas!”
Also. You can’t let him feed people like that and embarrass himself. Try to say without saying that he might be outclassed in a cooking competition.
This may be crazy. But my suggestion is to let him enter the contest. When he loses offer to try other lasagnas to see what’s different. Most likely he will say the others suck compare to his. But maybe deep down he will realize it and you can work together on “tweaking it” to win the competition
Yeah look I’m over a decade into my marriage and my in-laws make the worst lasagna. Stale basil and black pepper are the only seasoning and they use cottage cheese instead of ricotta and the noodles are very much soggy. My wife makes it the same way, her entire family thinks ricotta is gross. I just roll with it.
I finally just told my partner one day his lasagna is good, but different than my lasagna I had growing up. I told him I don’t care for cottage cheese in my lasagna and prefer the ricotta instead. He started making it the way I like.
For everyone hating on the cottage cheese I think it’s a midwestern thing to do…?
Not sure if this is real or just creative writing- but funny nevertheless. The Dutch have a saying – Gott straft meteen- got punishes swiftly! 😂
After years… I finally got the courage to tell my wife that spaghetti squash wasn’t a good (for me) substitute for real noodles. It’s possible, OP.
It’s time for YOUR FAMOUS lasagna to make a big entrance!! Naturally, convo & tweaks about his will follow
cottage cheese is why I never liked lasagna until somebody made it correctly for me. Just hope the need to serve it doesn’t come up regularly and drink a lot of Chianti
Lmao Garfield flavored prison
Let him enter it into the contest. They will take it from there.
At least work on adjusting the cooking times. I’m not sure why he’s using cottage cheese and ricotta at the same time.???
Next time he makes it, say “wtf is this? It’s different, doesn’t taste like last time”, the next time he makes it, give him the same reaction. When it happens the third time, say “I don’t know what happened, if it’s me or something else is off, but this lasagna is NOT the same. Next time you’re going to make it, can we do it together?”
I dk if this is good advice or not, but that’s what I would do.
Tell him you want to have a serious conversation. Sit him down and apologize for not telling him sooner. Tell him that you really can’t live with yourself any longer if you don’t tell him. Tell him that you realize this may have a serious effect on your future together and that you’re sorry for that too.
Take a deep breath. Sigh.
Then say … I hate your lasagna.
Find some cooking shows to watch together and chat about them. Me I’m old as dirt having a penchant for making cheesecakes and yes they get asked for often and yes I’m still reading about how to make them and other fine culinary treats. Because there’s always room for improvement, like taking a cooking class at local technical college cuz bogus lasagna is cruel…
Tell him the oven has been running cold lately and everything needs to cook longer and at a higher temperature.
Rofl.
I can empathize with him. While I was dating my husband I would make stir fry. My then boyfriend would eat it without a problem. As he was someone that really did not like vegetables I thought I found a winning combination.
Took him 10 years to come clean. We used to eat that at least 3 times a month. Told him that was sufficient punishment for fibbing. Kids and I still enjoy it but he gets something else on thar day.
Pretty hard to mess up lasagna.
You can ask him to teach you how to make it, and then critique… your own attempts after you follow his recipe.
Oh – Taste this. It’s too cold in the middle. I need to cook it 15 more minutes.
Oh – Taste this. The noodles are under-cooked
Oh – Taste this. I don’t think the seasoning is right
Oh – Taste this. The cottage cheese makes it taste weird. I’m using ricotta next time.
Maybe it will make him notice these details in his own works of art.
My mom makes it with cottage cheese. I grew up with it that way. To me it’s normal.
I’d start specifically requesting things on special days. BEFORE he has a chance to buy ingredients and start cooking, like a week or more, be like “wow I’m really craving my favorite meal! I’d like to celebrate my birth with X” “mom and dad are coming over and I really want to prepare Y for them” if you start pre planning all the time you should see a reduction. You could also tell him you’re burned out on lasagna and don’t want to eat it as often. Tastes DO change.
Let him do the competition if he wants. That’s on him.
let him do the competition. they’ll sort it out for him.
If I was him I would appreciate the simple truth. It’s just food.
My fav line was “Garfield flavored prison” 🤣
Ty for the laugh this morning. My only advice is maybe start having heartburn after and say it’s from the acidity of the tomatoes? You’ll have to lay off any type of red pasta/pizza sauce to fully drive it home
Tell him that it’s not as good as it used to be and if he’s changed something. Then discuss what’s wrong and make suggestions.
Hahaha Garfield prison!!! Funny AF!! Sorry hysterical good luck
Mac’s Famous Mac and Cheese. Now with meat hunks!
Pretending to enjoy a man’s food, poor dude what else is there.
First it’s because he probs isn’t boiling the lasagna first-instead buy the oven ready noodles for the best chance of survival.
Second, the cottage cheese lasagna is a midwestern thing, sorry, yes we use this when we can’t get ricotta cheese 🙁 it’s ok as long as you don’t use much.
Third, have them cook it lower and slower to “seal in the flavors” as you read in a magazine, or even to use tin foil, this stops both the crunchy noodle and and cold cheese.
Fourth, get into making your pasta sauce together, easy, fun, and now you can change the flavor of the sauce to make it more palatable.
Fifth, pray to the lasagna gods, you’ll need it
It is ok to say” I love it but we have it a lot so let’s shake it up a little bit and try doing ….” And slowly add some changes that make it betters
You tell him you are “Lasagnad-out” (as my wife would put it) and feel like trying out new things to expand your horizonts.
It sounds like he’s not far off of a good lasagna. Seems like most of his problem is not baking it long enough, and he needs to settle on either cottage cheese or ricotta cheese. Seems like he’s confused a couple of recipes together over the years, and also mixed up some cook times.
Maybe try making it yourself one day. But make the little changes without telling him, and see how he reacts.
What I never understand about these sort of stories is how does he actually like the lasagna when it seems that it is so universally hated?
You can find gentle ways to help him out that won’t affect his confidence and will encourage him to keep cooking.
There are lasagna noodles you can buy that are ready to use for lasagna that don’t require any cooking. For the cold ricotta and cottage cheese you will need to be honest that you’d either suggest he try something different or be honest that you don’t like it.
Tell him immediately. Please video.
Validate then co-create: “I love your lasagna, but am so curious what it would taste like with ricotta only instead of cottage cheese. Warm ricotta is one of my favorites.” See how he reacts then insert your next suggestion once you get started on cooking. “What do you think about trying pasta that is a little past al dente? It could be something for us to try.”
The lasagna will one day be discussed in marriage counseling.
Just claim your taste buds changed so you want to try different flavors
Well for fuck sakes he can’t get better if you don’t tell him. You wanna keep eating shit lasagna?
Let him enter it into the contest.
You made the bed, now u sleep in it. You better be there cheering him on for that competition 😂
“Well I don’t how famous it is, I mean I’ve known you my entire life and I’ve never heard of it.”
Ask him to teach you how to cook it, then fix it a bit so if he says “put the noodles in uncooked” you can say “can we try it with a par boil?” And when you’re testing to see if it’s done you can say “the middle is stil cold. Let’s give it another 20 minutes to cook and check it again.” Or are there things wrong other than temp and crunchy noodles?
I once had my wife scream at me Thanksgiving morning, “and by the way….your Turkey f@*king sucks, I hate it!” That was several years ago!! He’ll get over it if you tell him.
Now you’ve got me worrying that my lasagna isn’t actually good and people have been lying to me too 😭
What is the best dish that you cook. Before you cook it next time tell him about some YouTubes you watched. Tell him you are going to master it 5Star.
See if he follows. Who knows it could be the start of a journey.
Ingredients for classical lasagne:
lasagne pasta sheets
minced meat
onion
butter
tomato
grated grana/parmigiano
bechamelle
This is the basics. You can add carrot and celery and/or sausage in the meat sauce. You can add mozzarella. Gualtiero Marchesi advices on using a reduction of whipping cream and beef stock in place of the bechamelle. And there are possible variations, vegatarian lasagne ricotta and spinach is a very classical take.
But, noodles and cottage cheese? Seriously? Come on.
Sit him down, tell him the truth and why you hid it for so long. Then tell him the things he does right that he doesn’t get credit for or acknowledged for. It might hurt for a second but the support for things he’s never thought of or thought you’ve noticed will be uplifting.
Next time he makes it, lace it with laxatives. You’ll be taking turns on the toilet for a day. After which you can say every time he wants to make it that you can’t stomach the lasagna that gave you both such terrible food poisoning. Problem solved.
bring him to a good italian restaurant and order the lasagna.
NTA. Red flag. Dump his ass!!!!
Jk this is so sweet, maybe try to make the dish together and tweak things here and there to take this already “amazing” dish to the next level (edible)
Tell him you are getting tired of beef lasagne and request he make a different type — something complicated that requires him to follow a recipe. This is a good one because it involves both fresh pasta sheets and ricotta (I’ve made it, it’s good). https://www.marthastewart.com/314642/butternut-squash-and-sage-lasagna Or you could buy him some no cook lasagne noodles to ‘save time’. He’ll really need to be careful about layering and cooking time with those so maybe that would help? (Cottage cheese can be used instead of ricotta – it’s not totally scandalous. But it sounds like his recipe is just waaaaay off in many other ways!).
The problem isn’t the Lasagna, the problem is that you are lying to your partner.
The solution is difficult and unpleasant, but straight forward. Stop lying. Come clean.
>Do I fake a dairy allergy? Say I’ve suddenly discovered I’m gluten-free?
do i dig myself deeper with more lies? No. Say something like “sweetheart i love you and i don’t want to hurt your feelings. To avoid hurting your feelings i have exaggerated how much I enjoy you lasagna”
Then he will probably ask some questions, and you’ll have to go from there. Maybe he will ask what you don’t like about it, and you can mention that its cold in the middle. Or maybe he will ask how much you like it. You like it enough to eat it.
Omg my grandma made the best lasagna with cottage cheese. I absolutely prefer it to ricotta. I have no advice for this LOL. This is a lesson in honesty for you. Probably should have just told the truth from the beginning.
Let him enter it into the competition and have other people tell him it sucks.
I love the real world problems people have here! My solution is pretend you get food poisoning or upset stomach after eating the lasagna, blame it on something else you may have eaten before. Then next time say “ever since I got the food poisoning on the day I ate it, I can not physiologically enjoy it”
Do a cooking class together (lasagna)
Can you send me your husband?
I laughed way too hard because that one did hit home a bit haha I used to make Sushi for my significant other until she told me two years later how shitty it was. Except I kind of knew it 😅🤞🏼
Honestly, it would break his heart if you told him. Don’t. Imagine thinking you’re doing something awesome and then someone says it actually wasn’t and they found out you lied about it for three years. He won’t want to do anything again. Instead tell him you guys will make it together. Do it together and maybe then he will see (taste) the difference. Maybe making it together will bring you guys closer too.
Just come clean, laugh but be sincere. Don’t keep lying. Foreal. Come on now. He has gotta understand and if he doesn’t he is a prick.
Maybe start with, “Hey, sweetie, how about we try taking out the cottage cheese?” (By the way, I just read your post to my wife, and she’s heard of cottage cheese being used in lasagna.)
This is a tough one. I think I would suggest finding a really good recipe for lasagna WITHOUT cottage cheese ew, and offer to make his lasagna but “~fancy~” Maybe you could say “you cook the lasagna for everyone but I wanna make YOU lasagna for once!” You could even get the more expensive versions of all of the ingredients to make it like a special treat. If he asks about the lack of cottage cheese, just say the store ran out so you had to use ricotta lol, if he says the noodles are overcooked, just say “oh sorry I just followed the instructions on the box”
As a man who cooks, but came to it late-ish, this is my worst fear.
I like to think I’m good at cooking, at least for a home cook with no professional aspirations. My family tell me stuff is good (including my kids who’re not usually known for sugar coating feedback) and I’m open with people telling me if something isn’t nice for them and I would never freak out or get upset with someone if they didn’t like something I made.
But to find out that I’d been making things thinking I was good at it for years, and it actually sucked and people have been humoring me. That would hit my right in my sense of self. I’d think about myself differently, and it’d hurt even more knowing I thought I was doing something nice, but was making things worse instead, and I didn’t know.
OP, you owe it to your partner to come clean now. Today is not too late, end it now. Don’t continue this because you’re too scared to admit you’ve lied about it. Continuing to lie is making it worse.
Do you have any dietary reasons to alter his recipe? A diabetic or overweight relative? You could alter it to something edible if you can come up with a reason for changing it.
Don’t lie about stuff like this next time. You are reinforcing something you don’t like, teaching him to do more of something you despise.
Encourage him to up his game by making fresh lasagna noodles- get him a pasta machine. Tell him he couldn’t really excel by making his own sauce or ricotta and watch videos with him about amazing lasagna. The takeaway is that he’ll hear tips and best practices during the videos.
“Hey have you noticed that this isn’t tasting the same anymore? It tastes like one of the ingredients is made with something cheaper, probably the product company cutting corners because of inflation. Let’s do something different for awhile and circle back with lasagna. I need a break from whatever they changed. Thank you for making it for me all these years! I can’t wait for us to try something different.”
I don’t have any advice but the fact that your support got him to consider putting it into a competition is really damn cute lol.
Couples’ Italian cooking classes. A great gift because he’s already “so talented” and because you’d like to learn and have a signature dish too.
I wish lasagna had an ingredient you could pretend an allergy for that you’d be willing to give up.
Judicious placement of your hidden sachets of tobacco sauce.
At this point, just tell him the truth. And be like I liked you so much to break your heart in the beginning, to loving you so much I can’t even lie about the smallest things, but your lasagna is trash.
You need to have a “come to Jesus” with him….its the only way out.
Why is it too late to come clean?
I’m just hard staring at the word “noodles” and wondering why no one else is flipping the table over. We mean pasta sheets right? Or is this cottage cheese monstrosity disrespecting the texture as well as the taste? I almost want to experience this shit. Almost.
Fake an illness (covid?). When you get “better” tell him something about your sense of taste has changed and you no longer like his lasagna. You are crushed by this.
Why can’t he learn how to cook something else? Even something is good you don’t have to make it every special occasion. Also, I’ve noticed that everytime one of my friends or family member has some kind of food they swear is amazing it ends up being really terrible.
Just say hello my darling you know how I’ve always said how amazing your lasagna is? Well the pastas undercooked it’s cold in the middle and the cottage cheese doesn’t work and frankly I find it to be pretty bloody disgusting. I don’t think if I served this for homeless people they would even eat any. Then you gotta proceed to go full Gordon Ramsey pick up his lasagna throw it in the bin and scream ITS SHIT! it’s fucking raw you dodo. Are you taking the fucking piss?? GET OUT! Take off your fucking jacket and fuck off will ya go on piss off. We’ll you could also deal with it honestly and normally like an adult but that’s not fun
You make his recipe and when it turns out 1000 times better he’ll ask why.. then you can say.. I added a little more liquid (to cook the noods) blended the cotttage cheese with some ricotta and cooked it at a lower temp for longer to heat all the way through.. if that doesn’t work just laugh and smile and tell him the truth!! If he’s a nice guy he’ll think it’s cute and funny you were trying to spare his feelings.. and make a mental note to never do that again!
3 years ? Why? For what ? Everybody has different tastes, people mess up in the kitchen.
The fact that it wasn’t even all the way cooked, that’s a safety issue now, he’s a grown man… I would have put it straight back in oven when I tasted the raw noodle & cold cheese.
He should be able to take an honest opinion. Idk what his situation/condition is but if he’s emotionally stable it should be fine.
“Hey babe. You know that lasagna that you make? Honey it’s really not great. I lied. The noodles are undercooked and the cheese is cold. I only told you that I liked it because I didn’t want to hurt your feelings. I’m sorry for faking it all this time. Can we try to make one together? Maybe I can look at the recipe you used and see where it went awry.”
Maybe keep that one going but tell him your ready for something new with a different flavor like 9 lives or something. Just kidding. Maybe though say you’d like your special days to have more variety and you can save his 5 star lasagne for like 1 day out of the year like February 29th!
This reminds me of a post a couple years ago… I’ll see if I can find it, it was hilarious!
Instead of coming clean, lean into it … ” Babes. I have really been craving chicken alfredo, and with your lasagna skills, I bet you could really knock it out of the park… can you/we learn to make that?”
Then he makes it…
Then you say “Oh my goodness, this is my new favorite!! This blows your lasagna away!”
lol, I have an older cousin that comes to visit and insists on cooking, especially her “famous “ potato soup.
It is wallpaper paste! It is if mashed potatoes and potato soup got drunk and bred. Of course absolutely zero spices. Gets offended if I use hot sauce.
I feel for you OP!
I usually think that honesty is the best policy but it seems like you’re in a bit too deep.
IMO you have two options
Live in Garfield Hell
Next time the lords lasagna is on the menu, scarf it down and pretend to get sick after. It doesn’t have to be from the food, but fake a flu or whatever.
It’s not uncommon for people to develop a taste aversion to a food they’ve had right before they became sick even if it wasn’t the food itself that made them that way.
Bang, taste aversion, next time it comes up take a bite, tell him you can’t because it reminds you of that terrible flu you had. You may even have to sacrifice red sauce for a bit or pick whatever, in your case maybe say cottage cheese is what’s doing it. (Btw wtf lol)
Here’s what you do:
Step one: eat the lasagna next time he makes it. Eat a lot of it, and gratefully mind you.
Step two: take a bunch of laxative and something to induce vomit…
Step three: puke and crap your guts out loudly in the bathroom, door open.
“Ugh, I think it was the lasagna… babe, I don’t think I could ever eat it again, for as you can plainly see, it has made me, your beloved girlfriend, violently ill.”
I feel like you should suddenly discover a love of a different dish. His lasagne is good, but I’ve never loved this bbq chicken (or whatever) more in my life. Teach him to cook it well and ask for it for your birthday, etc
You could also tell him you want to make him lasagne for his birthday and actually use a good recipe. He might figure it out in comparison…
Honestly this is now in a rock or hard place area. While it was nice to not be honest about a bad recipe in an early relationship, it is not there now. If I found out my significant other had been letting me serve a dish that was as bad as this sounds for YEARS I would be very embarrassed.
If the partner is the laid back type who doesn’t get embarrassed by something like this it’s maybe no big deal but if he is, entering a cooking competition and likely getting humiliated (the other contestants are likely getting honest feedback to actually improve their recipe) it would only be worse.
Fortunately it sounds like several aspects of the recipe are just poor fundamentals. These are way easier to bring up. It’s still gonna sting a little but saying “hey babe I didn’t want to say anything before but last tjme this was cold in the middle, can you cook it 15 min longer?”, or showing a recipe online that calls for longer cooking times could soften the blow a little.
Gotta tell the truth though, don’t lie to get out of a lie.
There’s definitely a recipe out there somewhere with cottage cheese because my mom used that instead of ricotta when I was a kid. Of course we lived in a country where somehow cottage cheese was available but not ricotta at the time. But she got the recipe from somewhere seeing as we’re Taiwanese.
In your case, you can start slow. “I like the lasagna but the cottage cheese has always bothered me.” Or “oh, this piece is cold in the middle.” Or “are the noodles supposed to be crunchy?”
I tend to do all of the cooking in my household and I welcome critique. If you think your partner is perhaps a bit sensitive take one issue at a time. Maybe on one occasion you may say “oh my these noodles are crunchy hun” or “I have to nuke mine the cheese in the middle is cold”. After about 300 more lasagna poisonings you might get there LOL.
IF……IF this is real…all this “nicey nice” advice is as bad as you proclaim the lasagna to be. Men only take blunt honesty seriously…everything else is at best a mild suggestion made in jest. Next time he’s talking about his sucksagna stop him mid senstence and say “look, your lasagna is awful. And I care about you enough to tell you that.” It’s like telling someone they have a booger on their face. Is it embarrassing for them and awkward for you? Sure. But at least they know you care enough to save them further embarrassment.
Buy him a lasagne recipe book, with lots of different variations of the dish. There’s an amazing amount of variety for the dish.
Encourage him to experiment. Set up a contest, where you’ll both judge for the best recipe in the book. (And then have him stick to that.)
Tell him the truth
Funny he uses Ricotta AND Cottage Cheese – we used the latter when I was growing up because we lived in a rural area where you just couldn’t find Ricotta, and then kept using it later when we were too poor to afford Ricotta. It usually replaces it, not becomes an extra addition.
But to your question, I agree with some other advisors here – use his interest in a local cooking contest to “help him tweak” his recipe to “get it even better” before the contest; never know, you might actually end up with something pretty good to eat every time you have a special occasion.
REALLY practice the phrase, “it’s really good, but it would be even better if you…”
“My tastes have evolved”? Mine really have as I’ve gotten older, and ethnic restaurants near campus that were novel and amazing whenI was 18 are mid at best now that I’ve tried others.
Wait! Maybe start going out to eat at places with famous lasagne? Once he has really good stuff he’ll realize his is amateur.
This one is simple. Just say “I’m tired of lasagna, even your legendary recipe. Let’s try something else.” There’s no reason to tell him that you never liked it, just tell him you’ve had enough for a while.
I just came here to say that my FIL’s lasagna, which I love, uses cottage cheese instead of ricotta, so it’s not that crazy.
Have him teach you how to make it for him! Then mess with it until it’s perfect
Do not ever tell them!!
Just give it to him straight and specific After three years you’ve surely built up enough strength in your relationship that he can handle the cold, hard truth ( which kinda sounds like the way his lasagna tastes). Hopefully, he puts on his big boy pants that day and can handle it all. I mean, the fact that you put up with his crappy pasta for three years shows how much you care, albeit in a slightly delusional, magic- thinking kind of way. Let’s face it: this kitchen doofus of a boyfriend is gonna be giving generations indigestion unless you intervene.
Plot twist- it was weaponized incompetence and he makes it bad on purpose. Now he’s really doubling down with the contest and he’ll never have to cook again.
I’m sorry, this isn’t helpful but your story made me laugh. I feel your pain. I did the same with my husband’s famous kidney and gravy dish. I hate it with a vengeance but can’t bring myself to break his heart. I swallow each mouthful whole so I don’t have to taste it 🤢
food alergies can come on at any age but you’ll have to live with it and he’ll notice if you eat something that you shouldn’t
Try asking him to cook other things ‘you’re lasagna is so good, why don’t you try ‘xxx” and I’ll help and then you love that new dish as much, maybe even a little MORE than the lasagna.
you’ll never be able to tell him the truth, but you can mitigate the lasagna intake.
Can you get “burned out” on it?
Omg, LET HIM ENTER THE COMPETITION, so someone else can be the fall guy! Lmao!
God I despise lasagna
A bit expensive but take him on a holiday to Italy. Warning : he might get strong insults from Italians if he dares to say he puts Ricotta and Cottage cheese in a Lasagna, that’s not far from pineapple on pizza or ketchup on pasta.
Tell him he’s such a good and enthusiastic cook, he should start trying new recipes and take a cooking classes for meal ideas
My husband ONCE made really good scallop potatoes, once!
It became my version of your ‘lasagna’ in my house. It took 3 really bad attempts after (that ‘everyone loved’) before I told him whatever he’s doing differently stop because it tastes like uncooked potatoes and school glue! 30 years later, I have a ham sandwich for dinner and he enjoys 4 days of leftovers for his lunch!
P.S. he uses both types of cheese in his lasagna also. Mixed together and spread as a layer, that I have gotten use to!
I’d start with one ingredient that you don’t like and have him change that. Trader Joe’s imports their lasagna sheets that are oven ready or have him make fresh pasta. Then teach him to whip ricotta or make a bechamel.
Or just bite the bullet and say you’re sick of lasagna being the celebration dish
Just let him have that one thing. Life’s too short. If he enters the competition, or if he continues to make it for guests, maybe he’ll get some feedback in that way.
Just be honest, I cook all the time for people & I would want them to tell me if they didn’t like something
Not sure if anyone posted this yet, but does he have some type of condition where he really can’t taste things? Kinda like when some people love cilantro but others think it tastes like soap?
Personally, I’m a fan of radical honesty in a relationship so I would definitely have come clean or come clean now.
Alternative plan: ask him to teach you how to cook it together and offer to “perfect the recipe” for the cooking competition.
If you succeed, the lasagna (and his skills) get better. If you fail, the competition will tell him so you don’t have to.
Prayer doesn’t do shit but the truth will change everything
Everyone saying to “give suggestions” or to “help make it ours” is very oblivious to the fact that Op has been lying for three years. This is beyond “fixing” a plate and it’s not about cooking anymore.
If it was like a few months after sure give suggestions, but it’s been three years and the lie has grown so big that the boyfriend believes his dish is great, why would he add or change anything when his biggest supporter in the world has been basically giving him a thumbs up for three years?
Garfield flavored prison got me 😂
Next time he makes it, say “Have you changed something because this tastes off?” Hopefully this happens before he enters a lasagna competition.