This is not a secret amongst my peers, but I do feel the need to talk about it, because it still bugs me. I graduated from college in 2012 with an AA in graphic design, but had little work experience, and was thus afraid to enter the corporate space.
I spent the next four years taking on menial jobs, each ending in disaster as I had trouble following directions, work slowly, and get confused and upset easily. A one month stint at UPS in 2014 caused the development of hemorrhoids, which despite treatment causes me a lot of pain and has hindered employment significantly.
Feeling backed into a corner, and still terrified of the corporate world, I became an
entrepreneur, which I failed at for about five years. It was very demoralizing to have failed at every attempt at securing income, trying desperately to conform and being unable to.
These days, I’m a house husband. My lovely wife is the breadwinner and, on good days, she comes home to a well-kept abode. On bad days, I just sort of lay down and wait for the chronic pain to subside so I can start cleaning/doing chores/running errands. Sometimes it takes 6 to 8 hours after waking to face the day, due to the unending aches and pains. I spend a lot of time looking after my health, as there are a lot of mental/physical issues that I work on so I can improve myself.
No one gives me any shit about my position in life. I appreciate that. But having failed at every artistic/income endeavor is a bit embarrassing. I’m extremely grateful I have a great spouse, but I also wanted to make something of myself rather than being a prisoner in my own home. Such is life.
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Being chronically ill and disabled, though, is a big part of the reason why. And that is not your fault or in your control. Believe me, I know. I am in a similar position.
Interesting story, thank you for sharing. Can you say more about the nature of your chronic pain/disability/mental and physical issues?
There have been times in my life where I struggled with this, and sometimes I’ve felt sad about it. And then I remember that my father was very successful, achieved every professional goal he ever set for himself, made a lot of money, and he was still so miserable he drank himself to death.
A good career would be nice, but you can’t overvalue just simply being content in your life.
Is this confusion caused by ADHD?
Have you not sought any mental health treatment at all?
Well if it works for yall good then do yall have kids ? Or you just a house husband to the home
Check out Tanner Murtagh on YouTube.
It’s not embarrassing. What’s embarrassing is living in a society that makes you think you’re worth less if you’re not providing profit to someone. I’m glad you have a good spouse and friends that understand you.
Is it just hemorrhoids that causing chronic pain? Have you had surgery on them?