Fourteen years ago, I moved to a whole new state after a divorce, with 4 little kids and nowhere to go. My aunt said we could stay with her, but it didn’t work out — and suddenly I was facing the real possibility of sleeping in my car with my kids.
I’ve never fought so hard in my life. I was scared but kept pushing. And just when I was about to give up, the right person crossed my path and helped me into a trailer. It had a hole in the floor, no electricity, no fridge — we used flashlights at night. Someone brought us a couch. And I remember sitting there crying happy tears because it felt like a mansion to me.
Fast forward — I had two more kids with my second husband, but I’ve been on my own for a while now. I’ve kept the same job for 8 years, and I’ve been in my own home for 7. Most of my kids are grown now, and I’m still standing.
My daughter turns 18 in a few days, and I’ve been trying so hard to surprise her with a car. Nothing fancy — just something used and safe so she can work, go to college if she wants, and feel free. I never got anything like that at 18.
I don’t know what I expect from posting this — I guess I just needed to say it. I’ve worked hard, and I’m proud of how far we’ve come. I just want to give her a little head start I never had.
Comments
What a great mother! I’m so happy for you. Your story is a testament that hard times don’t last forever, thank you for sharing it. I hope your children feel every bit of hard work you did for them, in the form of love and reverence of your strength and perseverance. Congratulations and happy birthday to her!
Hey huge congrats. You never gave up and now you get to do this!
Hi op,I was a single mom for many years to a girl then a boy. I had many of the same feelings as you and always went out of my way to give my kids the things I never had. That said when my daughter turned 16 I let her have a huge sweet 16 party and I’m talking like it was at a country club with multiple dresses, special cake, ice sculpture, she etc. Felt more like paying for a wedding honestly.
I had to have a very frank conversation with my daughter about how she wasn’t getting a brand new car on her birthday-hell I didn’t even have anything close to a brand new car. She was disappointed but eventually came to terms with it and I did the legwork of finding her a reasonable, safe used car-it wasn’t glamorous or flashy but it would be hers and only hers. I got both of my kids professional driving instructors bc I just couldn’t do it myself without losing my shit so she had a license. That car grew on her very quickly after initially turning her nose up at it. Keep in mind that statistics of new drivers and accidents I think it was something like 80% wreck their first car within the first 6 months, I didn’t want to hear that shit but lo and behold both of them had accidents (they were ok) that rendered their first car un-drivable . So of course then there is the next car etc etc you see where this is going lol.
Maybe expect that she’ll be grateful yet possibly underwhelmed at first if you are trying to do this on your own as a gift to her. My kids are now 32 and 25 and on many many cars later and they survived.
I wrecked my first car my mom gifted me in 6 weeks driving home from work lmao
Congrats!! You’re a tough person and you’ve fought like a lioness to put your family in the correct path.
I wish you the best, and a very happy life.
Bravo!!!👏 great job! You persevered and each time you thought you couldn’t you did!! You taught your children valuable lessons and you should be so proud! Thank you for sharing your story!
Good job mama
my parents built their life from the bottom. obvs VERY different circumstances…
but their mentality is a bit different. Theyve worked hard their entire lives, and now they are reaping the benefits and luxuries they deserve.
Im happy for them. and they do deserve it.
but everytime i think about how much i wanted to go to college, or even now- when i cant save money cause my debt because i had a mental breakdown, and had to move back home, and had to use up my credit card because why should my family have to pay for anything? i have food and shelter and I should be grateful. and I am. and we do have more luxuries than before.
but everytime i see my dad get a new instrument or recording equipment… how we are now a two car, two motorcycle house… I really just think about all that.
I really love my parents. I do. Theyve sacrificed a lot and give a lot, especially now that they realize some of my problems.
but i also think its the coolest fuckin thing that even after all that, you still are putting your kids first. I hope your kids are grateful for that, honestly. You are giving her a huge headstart, its amazing.
I think that’s lovely. Congrats on her bday! 💕
You are doing great Mama, be proud.
Great job mama!