I’ve realised that due to absolute bottom tier self esteem, I’ve literally done nothing in life. I’ve become a neet shut in with no sense of purpose. Never succeeded in academics, never been good at sports, never made any emotional connection with anyone, never made any strong bonds, not even properly interacted with a girl in like 8-9 years (embarrassing). Idk what I can do. Im 24 and feel like a failure. Im not a hateful person by heart, but hate myself too much to the point of no growth in anything. I thought I’ll die at this age 5-6 years back. But here I am an absolute failure who doesn’t even care about himself. It’s almost like I want to improve now at this age but Ive been in that self hating space for such a long time that It hurts to even think about growth.
Idk what will help me but i would appreciate some needed advice.
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you are 24(you survived) complaining on REDDIT about not achieving anything in life (you have access to internet) one of your main embarrassment is not talking to girls (you are privileged) you dan AFFORD to hate yourself (you have not seen true suffering) i’m looking at you as achieving more than 80% of human history. stop complaining and go to the gym , if you do not have money for the gym (your just broke not dead, can be worse) go for a run and do free hand workout. talk to the next person you see just a hi , how are you? you just need to get out my friend.
Here’s my suggestions. Not everyone might agree with them, but they worked for me.
STOP:
START:
Trust me, exercise worked WONDERS for mental health and general feelings of self-worth.
Break the cycle NOW. I’m almost two decades older than you and trust me you have YEARS ahead of you. If you can get yourself straight now, you’ll be set.
Here’s something to reflect on – you said you have no sense of purpose and implied that you don’t feel you’ve achieved much. Setting yourself goals and achieving them around fitness WILL be an achievement AND give you clear purpose.
It sounds like you feel beaten down by the world for a while. It can be really hard with the world being so competitive, I feel like the 2020s have been especially rough. It sounds like you really want to get good at something but it’s hard to figure out where to go from there. What do you feel like the biggest challenge has been — figuring out what you want to succeed at, coming up with a plan, or following through with the plan?
You are WORTH IT and you can turn your life around for better. I’m 34 and for a few years I also felt like a complete failure. I went through years of unemployment, divorce, anxiety, and more… But I could overcome all of those obstacle and now my life is so beautiful! Now I love my life, myself, and I’m so proud of that! I’ve shared my learnings and experiences in a video on my self development YT Channel. It’ll definitely motivate you and give you another perspective 🥰 https://youtu.be/C15vhxgI1vI
Pick something you are interested and start small. Go from there and watch your body of work grow.
I wish you well! 🙂👍
feeling stuck like that after years of self-hate isn’t surprising. But wanting to improve,even if it hurts, is already a sign you’re not fully stuck anymore.
you won’t fix everything fast. But you can start by doing one thing just for you, without trying to “succeed.” go for a 10-minute walk,draw, cook something simple, anything small🍳. Your brain needs to learn that you’re capable of doing something, even if it feels pointless at first.
also, stop aiming for “success” right now. Aim for movement. tiny steps lead to bigger ones over time. most people don’t suddenly “fix” themselves—they just start moving slowly out of the dark, one day at a time🌱.
Your breathing and alive and God the father of us who sent Jesus Christ to die for us in a action of love to be saved literally sees you as perfect in his eyes and if you have the free will to read a bible you will learn that you are indeed unique and wonderfully made, just like me or anyone else regardless of your status, race, gender accomplishments, I definitely know it’s true even when I don’t want to accept it fully for myself, I hope as time goes on things will improve for you in the ways you need it
S@@t, I’m 69 nearly 70, I’ve been living day to day, year to year, achieved f all, been such a crap parent my kids/ex wife disowned me, a crap friend, etc. Even tried to top myself a few times – failed as usual. Tried to convince myself that this is life and a continuous learning experience. I’ve achieved f all too, maybe it’s too late maybe it’s not but I’ll never know if I pack it in. That’s the challenge; will I persevere or not. I guess that’s what really keeps me going, nothing else, that’s all I have left if that makes sense.
Shake your life up, set up an easy job and apartment in a neighbouring city is an idea. Something big needs to change
Your young dude I used to read the same things when I was your age and it’s tough because all your peers at that time are thriving but yea like the top comment said the best advice I have is be bored.
No tv social media whatever I use to distract yourself cut it out and sit there , and I promise after like like 10 minutes there you will do something anything , wether go for a walk or look up a hobby.
Exercising is a game changer but remember it taks many forms a walk jog pickle ball lifting whatever, also eventually meditate use guided ones they are super easy and find one that fun and just keep doing it , if your bored do it . I went from rotting in bed for 2 year not doing anything in my life at 30 to living my best life now
You have put cart before the horse
Made a girl and sexual attraction the centre if your life & if that fizzles out failure seems a good hold on term to cover up failure
You are not a failure. You are a coward not willing to face life Are you living at the handouts by your parents?
If you hsve health hands legs eyes and a body that functions you are already good
Stop self pity. Stop self victimization Brush up your slumber mindset be a man with a backbone and rebuild nothing us impossible
You dont mention your education skill sets and work experience
You are 24 meaning its 6yrs since graduated from 12th your high school
Without basic info not much advice can be dished out