I’m 32 years old from the UK, and I’ve never eaten most kinds of food. I have an eating disorder called foodphobia or cibophobia, which quite literally means most food terrifies me or evokes a panic response, in the same way a tarantula or a shark might do for you. I have a terrible diet, as you might imagine, mostly made up of junk food, and apples, which are literally the only wet food I have ever eaten. I haven’t told a lot of people in my life, I did a quick count and I think it’s 8 people over the course of my lifetime (not counting people I only know in a professional capacity, like people I’ve asked for help), although obviously loads and loads more people know “oh that fella is weird about food” without knowing exactly what or why.
I had no idea if this would interest people or not, but also I thought to myself it’s definitely the weirdest thing about me by far. I’ve noticed a few times the sub asks for proof when the claim is hard to believe, I… don’t really know what to do about that? I don’t have certification of it or anything, I don’t even normally call it anything normally, I googled ‘cibophobia’ to check earlier because ‘foodphobia’ just sounds daft.
Feel free to ask all the “so you’ve never eaten…” questions you like, or ask about how it’s affected my mental health, or my physical health, or what keeping it secret’s been like, or how it affects friendships, or whatever else comes to mind… or even just funny stories about my reactions to food, because while it’s a crappy condition to have I also appreciate that to most people (and even to me) sometimes it’s so absurd that it’s just a bit funny?
It’s about 12 GMT as I post this, I’ll try to answer questions for the next 10-ish hours today depending on when I sleep and pick up some more tomorrow if there are any.
Comments
Would I be right in thinking you developed this from an extremely young age when you were starting to eat solids? Did you have some sort of triggering event which led to this?
What would be a normal day of food for you? Breakfast, lunch, dinner, snacks, drinks?
A friend of a friend had this kind of thing going on, the only thing they ever ate was ready salted crisps but I never got to ask more about it.
What would your daily food intake look like? Have you had issues with weight? Or have you ever had bloods done to see how you’re fairing?
Have you ever sought treatment for it? And how did you start eating apples?
Would you mind going more into depth as to what ‘scares’ you about most foods? What’s the reasoning behind it?
What’s your height and weight
Did your parents not enforce healthy eating habits?
What are your teeth like?
I have a couple!
Do you have any vitamin defiencies?
Do you have/had a partner? If so, how is your condition affects your relationship?
I’m always fascinated by people with food phobia or picky eating habits because the things they do eat are counter intuitive to me. It’s often junk or processed food that seems far “scarier” or off putting than fresh fruits, vegetables, etc. Could you explain why you think this is the case for you?
I’m asking genuinely with no ill intent or judgement. Thank you for being open to questions.
Just a couple for you!
How does this affect your relationships?
Any impact on your ability to work?
A lot of people find joy / comfort in food, what provides that for you?
im beginning to suspect i have the same condition and need to learn as much about it as possible before my next appointment with my doctors this week. have you ever been treated by a medical professional successfully for this issue? have you ever been put on a liquid diet by a doctor? do you frequently take dietary supplements, especially like protein powder or vitamin gummies? how does this affect or impair your social life and mental health, as well as physical health? do you maintain a consistent exercise routine that supports your physical and mental health? idk if these questions are invasive or not so don’t feel the need to answer them all, im just really curious about whatever you have to say about this topic. thanks for sharing 🙏
What are your “safe foods?” Foods that you will eat?
This is so interesting to me
What do you eat in restaurants or can you not to tonl them?
Are you me?
I have the same thing but am diagnosed with arfid now at 31 instead of foodphobia. I also really struggle with wet foods with apples being the only we food I can tolerate.
On a scale of 1 – 10 how sick do you get of people thinking you’re just being picky on purpose?
Have you ever tried to find support in a group of people with the same or a similar issue?
Have you ever looked into ARFID?
Are you diagnosed with any other behavioral or psychological disorders? I understand the UK is slow to diagnose anything on the behavioral side so I get it if it may be suspected but not diagnosed.
My son is only 2 and has a regular diet, but one of the moms in my mom’s group has a child of similar age who had already been diagnosed with ARFID (Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder). Both boys are diagnosed autistic as well. Her child sees a feeding therapist weekly to help. Currently he only eats a handful of food items, mostly junk as well (even though his parents are healthy and enjoy cooking loads of nutrient-rich meals)
Theirs is more of a sensory thing, but fear is usually a component too. AFRID is a recent food disorder diagnosis in the DSM-5, and it isnt uncommon for people on the spectrum to find out they have comorbidities like this.
Do you take any supplements?
reads title WTF
Reads you’re from the UK ah makes sense
Reads the next line WTF
What would happen to people born 150+ years ago with this condition? Would they just die?
how often do you poop?
I have 2 and I applaud you for making this post
how are your bowels?
are you motivated to change your diet? what do you think about that?
I know someone with this. He will only eat certain types of fried chicken tenders, Cheetos, strawberries, certain types of white rolls, and a few other things. If forced to eat a different food, he will literally vomit.
I see you a few people have mentioned ARFID, i highly recommend asking a doctor about it.
what foods are your favorite and least favorite?
Was the type of therapy you had exposure therapy and/or integration therapy? Do you think you nay be on a spectrum where certain textures, tastes and smells are a major part of the problem?
Do you have nightmares about broccoli?
Have you ever indulged in alcohol or drugs?
Was Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) explored as a possible diagnosis during your evaluations? While not universal, severe food selectivity is a condition observed in some—though not all—individuals on the spectrum
This sounds really frustrating for you! My autistic son ate nothing but Cheerios for a year there, and his diet is still very restricted, although he can handle applesauce, bananas and spaghetti sauce on good days. He doesn’t drink anything but water or milk.
Anecdotally, the easiest crossover foods from crunchy and brown (processed foods) are also crunchy and brown–things like popcorn chicken or fries, and meats that have extremely consistent textures like ham or McDonald’s hamburgers.
If you’re ever interested in pursuing some sort of treatment for it, there is a protocol that basically is extremely slow acclimatization. Being in the room with some of the target food. Being at the table with the target food. Touching the target food. Smelling the target food. Moving it around. Touching it with lips. Tasting with tongue. Putting it briefly in the mouth. Chewing. Swallowing. Each step takes a 45 min session once a week, so think about three months per item. I’m not an occupational therapist, so I don’t know the exact procedure used to help manage anxiety around it, but there is something out there that isn’t just “shove it in and chew, stop being silly.”
In any case, you should know this is a real thing, lots of other people struggle with it, it happens a lot for autistic people, and you shouldn’t be ashamed about it. I’m sorry you had useless SOBs for doctors.
Eh- I’m sure you didn’t come out of the birth canal afraid of food. Someone fed you during the first few years of your life, prior to this phobia setting in. Your parents never fed you cooked food, meat or veggies as a toddler? I find that borderline impossible.
Do you ever imagine a food and the thought of it feels like it would taste good, but then feel sick/grossed out/anxious when it’s in front of you? Have you ever watched cooking shows to see if it would help?
1.Are you able to swallow vitamin pills, and if you are, do you do it regularly?
Are you able to exercise or move freely at least?
Have you checked for autism?
This often comes alongside autism. It’s called ARFID and is common in that community.
Check out @myarfidlife on insta or YouTube if you have one. Little girl named Hannah who is documenting her journey with ARFID and shares tips her therapist gives her. May help you find courage to try something new little by little
I have ARFID (Avoidant/restrictive food intake disorder), it sounds like you have a really extreme case of that. I had 11 years of therapy and I managed to switch from white salt to pink, that’s it. Different foods are…Not food? You probably get it but other people don’t. Trying a new food is like eating a rock.
I managed to add in a few things and then I had weight loss surgery and emergency gall bladder removal. Now I can’t deal with beef anymore, I choke on it from the restriction, or anything too greasy because no gallbladder, so it’s like I went backwards again.
Are you frustrated or is it comfortable for you to eat everything the same? Mostly I like not having to think about it.
OP, it makes my heart so happy to read this thread and see that you are connecting with people who have the same struggles as you. You are not alone in your struggles! There is help for you! It’s not too late for you to feel better!
I urge you to talk with a doctor about the symptoms that make you think that you are on the autism spectrum, including your “food phobia”, and ask for a referral to a psychiatrist that specializes in autism spectrum disorders (ASD). The treatment for ASD has improved dramatically in the past few years; it’s not too late for you!
Have you tried freeze dried fruit/fruit chips/protein chips?
I’m sorry you didn’t get the support you needed and deserved, OP. Help is out there, but I understand how intimidating and exhausting it can be to try to find the right therapist. I hope you are able to find a really good one who takes your condition seriously, because it doesn’t have to be like this forever. Regardless of what path you take, know that you don’t need to feel ashamed in the slightest. This is your brain doing its best to protect you. Maybe the way it is going about it is not the most helpful in practice, but there’s a logical reason behind it — even if it doesn’t make sense at face value. I know that you are deserving of love and safety, and your brain knows it too! Help is out there whenever you decide you’re ready to try again.
Anyway, here’s my question: Are certain smells appealing, even if they’re not a safe food? Or are safe foods the only ones that smell good to you? What smell do you find most appetizing?
You drink milk and eat biscuits. Would you be able to dip a biscuit in milk?
What does your Blood work look like? everything normal?
I’m neurodivergent with a lot of neurodivergent friends who have similar problems with food. Im sorry your phobia was treated this way. A lot more people have problems with food than one might think, but unfortunately its brushed off as just an aversion that you did to yourself. Same happens to a lot of other mental blocks such as hoarding and obesity. These are health problems that need understanding and care, not judgement.
How are you overweight? I’m sure your calorie intake can’t be that high unless seriously killing the junk food? Apples won’t make or keep you overweight🤔
It might sound cruel but do you think it could help if you were in an environment where you were simply forced to deal with more foods, gradually, until the fear has reduced? If it worked with apples in the past, it might be a good solution. I’ve heard many psychiatrists suggest that exposure to fears is the best way to address them. I watched a four part tv series where people were exposed to various severe fears, and almost everyone in the shows overcame their fears successfully. It was horribly scary for them at first but they all said it was worth it. Maybe relinquish your desire to control the situation.
I’m really sorry this is such a battle for you. I instinctively went into “mom mode” to try to suggest things with more nutritional value, but with the texture of crisps. Have you tried dehydrated fruits, like dried banana? And on the protein side of the equation, would beef jerky work?
I really hope some of the comments here can help and I’m sending a mom hug your way.
What’s your favorite junk food?
Aww, I want to give you a big (non-creepy and consensual) hug!! When my son was six, ten years ago, he developed an autoimmune reaction to the bacteria that causes strep throat called PANDAS. This caused some neuropsychiatric effects, the most lingering of which was an extreme fear of choking. He would only eat vanilla ice cream or McDonald’s vanilla shakes for months. It was mind-boggling to see how much that rituals and food in general have to do with socialization so I can see how your condition could contribute to difficulties in having and maintaining close relationships. I mean the way food is integrated into our lives is so permeating that unless you’ve been intimately involved with ARFID or similar it’s incomprehensible.
Long story short I miraculously found a treatment center nearby that had a treatment for his “food phobia” and we were able to get him back to eating in a couple of months with tube feeding, therapy, and medication (mostly antibiotics). Before this, we saw a wonderful OT who specialized in feeding “difficulties” and her approach seemed like it might be helpful for situations like yours. I’ve seen others commenting about it and how you can gradually get used to new tastes and textures. I hate that you’ve been dismissed and treated badly for something that is not under your conscious control.
Of course eating “regular” foods would be awesome but the pediatricians at my son’s program were adamant that as long as he was moving along and using a “bite, chew, swallow” approach to foods as well as taking a multivitamin that there was no need to obsess or worry about his diet. He now eats a variety of foods but interestingly seems to be a supertaster – like he can tell the difference between different brands of condiments – so I think this contributes to his “pickiness.”
You’re not broken! There’s something in your brain that prohibits you from having a typical intake of various foods and with good professional support progress can be made. I’m in my 50s now and 32 seems like an age with so many possibilities ahead, even though you likely feel “old” lol. There is so much life to live and so many enjoyable experiences to have. I’m so glad you’re getting some good feedback and support here because you are soooo not alone. And I’m proud of you for being brave and putting yourself out there – keep it up!!
I don’t think it’s weird or funny at all.
Infants who are very premature and spend their first few months in a NICU with feeding and breathing tubes in their mouth often acquire what’s called an “oral aversion.” They are deathly afraid of anything coming near their face. They can even get upset if their parents try to kiss them. They also lose or don’t acquire the skills to eat food safely–chewing, swallowing, managing their tongue. So when they try they may choke or feel like they will, re-enforcing the fear.
Feeding therapists help a lot. They gradually introduce food in a non-threatening way. They help to take the fear out of all aspects of eating.
It sounds like that kind of person can help you. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. You’re not alone.
Overjoyed for you and the clarity and validation I see you experiencing!
I think I have ARFID and autism, too. I know my son does! And my husband too, probably. I was the pickiest eater I had ever met til I met him!
My parents didn’t understand and made it an emotional power struggle to get me to try new foods; I didn’t branch out until the pressure stopped later. My husband’s family didn’t understand but was permissive, and he branched out sooner, but less than me.
Now my 11yo son only eats buttered noodles, chicken nuggets and fries. I got him on a multivitamin years ago and don’t stress it. I show him my food, he smells it, I tell him about the ingredients – sometimes I offer to share, sometimes I let it just be implied. We sometimes take him grocery shopping and offer him new foods. He decided on his own to try apples again (he had a broader menu once, not by much tho) the other day, and now I peel him 1-2 apples a day.
No questions – just solidarity!
What did your parents feed you as a baby?
Cibophobia or AFRID??
What are some examples of foods you have at least tried that you determined aren’t for you? Fruits or dinner meals, candy or cake. Have you at least tried a lot of things? Or can you not get that far?
What’s your average weekly food bill if you don’t mind sharing?
It sounds very habitual – ingrained in your lifestyle.
Have you tried medication to “numb” your panic? Panic attacks, anxiety and worry are all very common but treatable mental health issues. Whilst it’s not a cure – it might help with starting somewhere with trying some other things – or even going to a food festival. Something to break the habit.
My cousin only even ate chicken and potato… from child to adult. I’m not sure why, but it was just something the family accepted. Do you know what might have caused it in you?
I wonder if the experience of choking on a piece of pineapple generalized to all foods you considered as “wet”. Individuals with autism (ASD), can have difficulty with textures; could have been an exacerbating factor. I know you’ve seen therapists, have you seen a psychiatrist? Medication might help, and you wouldn’t need it forever. Medication won’t “fix” you, it CAN ease some of the anxiety/depressive symptoms. Especially helpful if you re-engage in treatment.
What is the difference between foodphobia/cibophobia and ARFID
You might try approaching a therapist under the guise of “working on an anxiety condition” because that’s what this in fact really is (and it sounds quite debilitating). The thing is that “anxiety” is a broad term that can have a lot of manifestations, anything from generalized stress and tension to compulsions to full on phobias. There are lots and lots of good treatments for anxiety. I say this as someone who had both generalized anxiety and a full blown phobia (flying) that I had to try many many different things to get over. Today I fly without fear pretty much (went to Japan recently even). Where I used to have an instant physical panic around almost everything aviation related, now there are aspects of plane travel I genuinely enjoy (takeoff has become my favorite part and I like to sit at the window to see outside, something that would have terrified me in my phobic days). If I were you I’d go all to a professional about your anxiety. It manifests around food, that’s fine, and you can delve into when you find someone you trust. But you need help and I hope you find it. Good luck!
Just a heads up, I’m going to bed, so while I’ve tried to answer everyone as best I could, I will be winding down now. I’ll probably answer a few more questions in the morning if there are things I haven’t answered elsewhere, or if anyone is asking me to elaborate on something maybe.
I just wanted to thank this community for an overwhelmingly lovely experience. I had awful visions of posting this and being met with like 3 comments, 1 asking why people should give a damn and 2 just mocking how stupid my condition was, but it’s been really nice.
And it’s been helpful! I’ve always called the thing that I have just… the thing that I have. Even before making this thread I had to Google cibophobia, I remember some counsellor using the word once and its the only proper term I’ve ever heard. I’ve now learned its called ARFID, a term which came out in 2013 so just sorta missed my childhood. I’ve also learned about freeze dried food, which apparently is food you can have that just takes the moisture completely out of food? As someone who has a big issue with wetness specifically it sounds really exciting, especially as some of it can even melt and dissolve in your mouth, so I might be able to have food without having to chew it. I will definitely be giving this a try because, no exaggeration, it could end up being absolutely life changing for me.
Thank you everyone! You’ve been so lovely, I’ve cried repeatedly but also this has been really… relieving. Like a lifted burden. Before today I could count the number of people I’d told about this on two hands, I’ve talked more about the thing that I have today than any other day in my life and its been therapeutic
I’m sorry you have to deal with this. I have a few questions, if that’s ok.
Is exposure therapy a treatment for this? I know there are quite a few phobias (including one I’ve had) that the “cure” is just forcing yourself to be around it or do the thing until you don’t react to it anymore.
I read in an other response that you take supplements. Supplements are very expensive. I know you’re in the UK (I’m in the US, so pardon me not understanding the economy haha) but with the global economy somewhat in crisis, are you concerned that this won’t be financially tenable at some point as a method of getting nutrients instead of food? What’s your plan for if it becomes unaffordable to supplement?
What are some things in life that bring you joy?
Since taste isn’t really a big part of your life, have your other senses adapted or compensated in interesting ways?
We call it AFRID in the US and it sucks.
How do you feel about oral sex?
Have you ever been given a neurodivergent diagnosis?
Is there a functional difference between cibophobia and ARFID? (As in where it stems from and how it could possibly be treated?)
What is your weight like? I’m curious on if you’d gain a lot of weight from just eating junk food or be super skinny from being a selective eater.
This isn’t a question, just more of a suggestion so feel free to ignore, but I was wondering if it was worth looking into treatment for ARFID (avoidant restrictive food intake disorder)? It’s more of a well known thing so you might be able to get some help even if it’s not 100% the same
Sounds like wet foods are a problem, have you tried dried foods? I’m guessing meat/jerky would still be tough (pun intended) but have you ever tried fruit leather, dried veggies, mushroom jerky, etc.?