I auditioned for a regional pageant a while ago, it was my first time trying something like that. I thought I was going to get interviewed, maybe talk about why I wanted to join. But the director barely looked at me before telling me I had the perfect profile for nationals. Handed me a contract, told me I needed to pay the entry fee, said everything was “standard.” I remember asking a few questions about the contract but he brushed them off like I was just overthinking.
I knew about entry fees since pageants do need some kind of funding to work
A few weeks later, he messaged me again. This time saying I had to pay urgently for my crown and sash because all the other girls who were competing in this regional pageant already had. When I received the crown and sash I realized it wasn’t a regional sash but a national one, basically the sash you get once you win.
I told the director thinking it was a mistake and he acted like I should’ve known all along that I was buying the title and that I should just keep going along with it, smile when they crown me, and make it look real.
I didn’t wanted to cheat my way in. But I was pushed into it. I was lied to, manipulated, and now I’m being forced to play along with a script I never agreed to.
I’m not allowed to say anything. The contract has an NDA. If I speak up or try to back out, there’s a massive penalty I can’t afford. And beyond that, there’s this pressure to act like everything’s normal. Like I’m lucky. Like I should be grateful.
They’re even training me separately now. More intense sessions, on top of the group ones. They say it’s to catch up to the other candidates, but I know that isn’t true since other inexperienced girls aren’t receiving the same treatment.
I’m writing this here because I need someone to know. I’m tired of carrying this and pretending it’s an honor when it’s really a cage. Maybe one day I’ll find a way to speak out, to name names, to do something with what I know.
But for now, this is all I can do: say the truth where I’m still allowed to say it.
This wasn’t fair. And it wasn’t real. But it happened. And I won’t pretend it didn’t.