Co-parenting is hard enough when everyone is healthy and sane. But when you add a mysterious, debilitating illness and a parent who thinks essential oils can cure a complex gastrointestinal disorder into the mix, you have a recipe for an absolute disaster. One stepmom on Reddit just lived through this nightmare, and she had to go to extreme legal lengths to save her stepdaughter from a mother who cared more about “fairness” than her own child’s education and health.
Our narrator is a stepmom with a 12-year-old stepdaughter who is going through a medical crisis. This poor kid has an undiagnosed stomach issue that sounds like pure torture. We are talking blood tests, colonoscopies, biopsies, and MRIs. The doctors are stumped, and the family is preparing to travel across the country to see a specialist because nothing fits. It is terrifying, exhausting, and the last thing this family needs is an obstructionist parent making it harder.
Enter the bio-mom. She is described as “problematic,” which is the understatement of the century. She is part of the “natural medicine” crowd, but not in a harmless way. She fought against the child being on medication, gave her supplements that actually made her worse, and actively withheld meds and missed appointments. That is not a parenting style choice. That is medical neglect.
Because of her severe illness, the 12-year-old was missing three to four days of school every single week. She was drowning academically. The stepmom, who happens to be a teacher with nearly 20 years of experience in that very district, proposed the logical solution: homeschooling. They were already planning to homeschool their 6-year-old, so it made perfect sense for the stepmom to teach the 12-year-old too, ensuring she could rest when sick and still get an education.
But the bio-mom refused. And her reasoning was so selfish it makes my blood boil. She didn’t refuse because she worried about the quality of education. She refused because “it would be unfair for us to see her on her moms weeks.” She literally prioritized her own jealousy over her sick daughter’s ability to finish the seventh grade. She even rejected online schooling because she claimed it “doesn’t count as real school.”
This woman was willing to let her daughter fail out of school and suffer physically just to ensure her ex didn’t get any “extra” time with the child during school hours. It is petty on a level that endangers a child’s future.
So the dad and stepmom did what they had to do. They went to court. They were already fighting her on the medical neglect, so they added educational obstruction to the list. And the judge? The judge saw right through the bio-mom’s nonsense.
The ruling was a total knockout. The dad and stepmom were granted the right to make all medical and educational decisions. The bio-mom didn’t just lose the argument; she lost custody. She is now restricted to seeing her daughter for two hours on Saturdays, under supervision. That is not a slap on the wrist. That is the legal system screaming that you are a danger to your child.
Now the extended family is clutching their pearls, calling the stepmom and dad “cruel” for taking the daughter away. They claim the mom had “gotten better” about the meds after being threatened with court. But that is the key, isn’t it? She only complied when threatened. That isn’t good parenting; that is hostage negotiation.
Is the stepmom the ahole? Absolutely not. N-T-A. You didn’t take a child away because of homeschooling. You saved a sick child from a mother who was medically neglecting her and sabotaging her education for her own ego. The judge doesn’t give supervised visitation for no reason. You did the hard thing, but it was the right thing.