Okay i was thinking about how my mil can be overbearing( especially in the beginning) But my main theory is that maybe my mil is so over bearing bc she didn’t have a mil? & to top it off her mom had a baby when she had her first baby. Does that connection make sense to anyone else? like she doesn’t have any self awareness bc she’s never had it happen to her?
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This may be true for some, but I have seen a lot of stories where MIL was treated poorly by their MIL and had to ensure it, so they expect their DIL to.
My MIL was overbearing to her sisters-in-law and despite the divorce from FIL, his parents treated her with nothing but love and respect. GMIL never stepped on MIL’s toes. MIL has expectations of what her relationship with people SHOULD look like without putting in the work to form genuine connections or true bonds. My husband’s AIL told MIL she was delusional for believing she should be treated “like a sister” by them. To MIL, they should have been calling her to gossip about each other, plan trips and outings to the mall, and beg to raise MILs kids for her.
The delusional entitlement to relationships without putting in the work or leaving room for the other person’s needs or preferences is one of the biggest reasons my son and I are NC. She is not an emotionally safe person and uses guilt, emotional blackmail, and coercion to make people feel responsible for those roles she casts them in.