Hi, I 24F recently got dumped by my partner 23nb. We hadn’t been dating long but it was my first serious relationship in some time, we are both big nerds and we’re going to a convention together for a weekend.
Important context I’m undiagnosed potential Audhd and an introvert they are diagnosed adhd extrovert.
The Friday of the con I had told them in advance “it’s gonna look like I drink a lot but my tolerance is just annoying” and my best friend even backs up that I was relatively sober after the volume I drank. Despite this my ex was uncomfortable with it, which I understand and had I known it was going to make them uncomfortable I wouldn’t have drank.
The Saturday and Sunday they were performing in 2 events, now during these I was dealing with sensory overload and burnout, despite which I forced myself to go to their events because I care about them. When they broke up with me they cited this as them seeing I wasn’t enthusiastic which outwardly I admit I couldn’t express due to the burnout, and I regret it, as well they said they felt they were the only one putting in effort when I believe I was putting in a lot, I understand this was just us seeing things different and can’t be changed.
To the off my chest part of this though, I miss them so much, I miss their cuddles and their kisses, I miss how they clung to my arm, I miss holding their hand, and our calls and jokes. I understand and accept why they dumped me but I just feel unlovable, this was my first relationship.in so long and I let myself believe I could be loved and it didn’t work out which is on me not them I get that….
Sorry reddit I just needed to let that out. Sorry for any errors in grammar and punctuation
Comments
You didn’t mess it up. You showed up, cared and tried. Be proud of that, not ashamed !
I mean, you did your best, and I think that this isn’t something to break up over. You live, you learn, you are loveable. Also, maybe try to not see everything through the frame of diagnosis? Sometimes that makes things more complicated. You can still communicate your needs and learn about the other person’s needs but not attach so much clinical meaning to your identity. In general, next time, when you have a full weekend, don’t drink so much (even if can handle it)- it generally (for every body) leads to feeling a little less great the next day. Maybe you will have more of a reserve then. (This is not me blaming you or saying you should have done anything differently, I repeat- not something to break up over, just general thoughts) Wishing you the best of luck!